THIS CHAPTER IS PART OF A MEGA UPLOAD!!!!!

THERE ARE 5 CHAPTERS ALL TOGETHER ACROSS ALL MY PLATFORMS AND BOOKS.

2 DELICATE CHAPTERS

1 MASTER CHAPTER

1 PATREON CHAPTER (FOR SILVER, ROSE GOLD AND GOLD TIERS)

1 FAMILY PRANK WAR PART

I HOPE YOU ENJOY THESE CHAPTERS HUMANS, I WORKED HARD ON THEM ALL AND I HOPE IT CAN MAKE YOU A LITTLE HAPPIER IN THESE TOUGH TIMES.

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Damon’s P.O.V

Sassy trots in front of Levi and me, holding her stupid head high as if she wasn’t internally shitting herself from all the surrounding scents of wolves.

But the bitch was a great actress and was much better at not letting her true fears show on the outside. I was pretty sure Levi could smell the way I was shaking with every step as if I was about to face my biggest fear instead of my older brother.

Levi had always been a constant for me.

All my life, for me it always felt as if it was Levi and me against the world. Maybe because from the moment I was born he’d been there, smiling and ready to help me through it all or maybe it was because when we grew up he actually lived up to that.

I’d never thoughts twice about going to Levi when I needed him, not until now.

“I didn’t know you liked dogs,” Levi says after several minutes of silence carrying us through the beginnings of our talk disguised by a walk.

“I don’t,” I reply with a sneer that Sassy pointedly ignores. “She is Will’s stupid dog.”

Levi laughs gently at that and I risk a glance at him to find a familiar fondness lingering behind his eyes while he wears that expression of his that said he knew something I didn’t.

With gentle creases to his eyes and the slightest hint of a dimple showing in his cheeks, he unconsciously wore this look that I’d seen thousands of times throughout our childhood together.

“The animal whisper doesn’t like an animal,” He comments with a challenging, arched brow, “and apparently, she doesn’t like you.”

“She’s stupid.” I protest earnestly, making my claim to another who wasn’t Will and hoping they’d join my forces. “The bitch does not listen to me and genuinely loathes my existence.”

Levi laughs again, though this time it wasn’t as stiff at the last. It was full of easy joy and familiar love that made Theo curl over contentedly.

But it doesn’t last for very long as he looks to me and his smile falters for a second.

I don’t know what he saw when he looked at me, when he looked in my eyes, but whatever it was reminded him of why we were here in the first place, why this once familiar exchange felt like an old memory and why we were both so scared to face it.

His smile slowly slips from his face as his features rearrange themselves to present a version of my brother that was brimming with legions of emotions and unsaid words that were begging to come out.

“I wanted to talk to you because I’m going back to my pack tomorrow,” He reveals and surprise pushes away my nerves for a moment as I look to him. “It’s been several months and I’ve only gone back to the pack a few times and for no more than a day or two when there were serious cases up there. I didn’t want to go without knowing you were safe first, but I can’t leave Jayson to deal with everything for much longer.”

“Y-Yeah,” I manage before I clear my throat and try again. “I understand, it’s unfair to your pack.”

“But I can’t go without at least talking to you alone one time,” He carries on sadly. “I didn’t get to talk to you when everything happened, but I want to try and explain now.”

Levi stops to look at me so I nod, not knowing what else to do beyond that.

It scared me, terrified me to know that I’d have to listen to things I didn’t think I was ready to hear but it’d be selfish to stop him. He had to go home, to his mate and pack, and I knew Levi well enough to know he wouldn’t do that without talking to me at least once.

“I don’t want to make excuses for not telling you,” Levi continues with clear frustration, “It was a shit position to be in, but I shouldn’t have lied at the very least. I’m really and truly sorry about that Damon, we’ve never lied to each other for things like this and I shouldn’t have lied then. I know it’ll take time to fix this, but I just want you to know why I did that at that moment.”

I nod and Levi takes in a deep breath, filling his lungs with oxygen as if to use them as stand-in armour, and begins.

“Po told me a few months before,” He starts gently but his tone didn’t soften the impact as my heart withers away and I stumble slightly in my step. Levi glances at me, but I keep my eyes to the floor. “I-It was right before I told him about Jayson being my mate and what he was to me, the same day actually. He told me he didn’t think you were ready for it.”

My healing wounds scream their pain as the thin scabs that were only just forming over them peel off with Levi’s words. An ache starts throughout my body, quiet in some areas but louder in others, rough to the touch as it scraps its way over my nerves and veins, reminding me of all the pain I’d desperately tried covered up.

It all hurt again as if it was just yesterday I was standing before my parents’ judgemental, disappointed eyes. As if it were only moments ago that I’d looked up at my dad and caught the way his face fell and tears escaped his eyes when I asked him if Levi knew as well.

Levi had known. For months he’d known, watched me carry on for months, started his pack knowing and put it to bed as if it would not hurt so fucking much for me.

The anger came back but the sadness was stronger and all I could do was keep putting one foot in front of the other, trying to carry myself forward while all I felt like I was doing was falling.

“The moment he told me I said that he was wrong, that you were ready,” Levi carries on, testifying his case to a crumbling court. “And I really did think you were ready, s-still do actually… but then he told me about a hunting trip the two of you took to find some rogues around the pack and h-he said that… t-that there were children amongst other older ones and that you wanted to kill them all.”

My feet come to a standstill just as my heartache dissipates to make room for the overwhelming rage that immediately comes bubbling to the surfaces.

“H-He said they weren’t feral and that you still wanted to kill them. And fuck Damon tha-”

“Wait, one fucking minute,” I grind out through clenched teeth, my knuckles turning white around the leash as I fist it tightly. “He said that because I wanted to kill rogues, like we were fucking taught to do, that that meant I wasn’t ready to be alpha.”

“It wasn’t only that Damon,” Levi defends quickly as he looks me straight in my eyes. I don’t even bother trying to reign in my anger as I stare right back at him. “There were other things, but that was what I think made it certain for him.”

“And you just let that be that?” I say in a sneer, taking a step forward that immediately makes him step back.

The action doesn’t escape me nor does the way Levi’s eyes harbour regret when he realises what he’d done, but the whip has already struck its wicked coils to my skin, the pain adding itself to the rest.

“You listened to that one story and decided that dad was right,” I narrate and he shakes his head, features crumpling with frustration and clear panic.

“No Damon,” He tries desperately, diving his fingers into his hair and gripping it tightly. “This is coming out all wrong, w-wait a second.”

“I think it’s coming out just fine, exactly how you think of things in your head,” I reply, my eyes glowing their hurt. “You want to know why I said we should kill them, you want to know why I gave that answer that day.”

Levi doesn’t say a word, his eyes glistening as his lips tremble slightly.

“Dad sent me out to patrol two years ago, when I had just turned sixteen, way before any of this bullshit started.” I spit and he flinches at my tone. “I smelt some rogues and went beyond the border because I thought wouldn’t he be so fucking proud of me if I caught some rogues on my first patrol by myself.

So I went and I found three; two kids and their mother. They weren’t feral. They were dirty and alone, but they weren’t feral. They were scared, the mother begging for their lives the moment I found them… they didn’t even look like rogues, just werewolves who were lost and afraid.

I chose to let them go that day. I chose, to go against everything our father taught us about rogues, everything I knew about them and seen them do, everything instilled in us. I chose to ignore that all because inside, behind everything I knew, underneath all that anger and rage, it felt wrong.”

Tears tried to surface but I shoved them down, forced the misery and grief down for now and focus on just getting these words out. I’d cried enough, broken down and tried enough and I was tired of how suffocating it felt.

So I push it down, far down to deal with later.

“Three months later, I found them again but they were feral now and they were all standing above the body of one of our pack. There was no hope of saving her, they’d ripped apart every inch of her.” I say through the familiar guilt that arose with these memories. “I killed them, came home and told dad that I found them after they’d already killed them. He didn’t understand why I felt so guilty, still doesn’t because nobody knew what happened before.

Then, because I was to be alpha one day, and it was our duty to protect the pack. He took me with him when he and dad went to tell the family, I stood there and listened to an entire family cry for a life I could’ve saved if I didn’t try to save three others. So yes Levi, when it happened again, two years later and dad asked me what I should do, I gave him the answer I knew was right, even though it still felt so fucking wrong.”

With wobbling lips and a regretful gaze, Levi stands completely still as tears stream down his face. All who were near had fallen silent as well, taking personal liberties to listen in on our conversation and were now standing still as they waited for what was to come next or let the weight of my actions come through.

I could only hear my heart racing in my ears, thumping loudly, hurriedly while I panted and all the hurt and pain began to circle itself in that familiar twisting pain that demanded to be released through violence.

“I-I didn’t know,” He voices into the thin air. “N-None of us did. Why didn’t you tell us?”

A disgustingly, spiteful chuckle escapes from me, his words joining and melting into the thick, boiling viscous that was my fury at this moment.

“Can you imagine what dad would’ve said if I told him I let three rogues go?” I ask lowly, my words tight with malice. “You and him and everyone in this fucking pack may be changed wolves, converted for good now but back then, two years ago, none of you wanted to leave rogues alone! There was none of this newfound sympathy for them as there is today, so why would I tell him I felt it for them then!

We were taught to hate them! From the moment we were born, they were the enemy always. I’m getting really tired of listening to you all pretend and act like you weren’t killing them right next to me.”

My chest heaves and my lungs stretch out as I pant, trying to make room for my sudden confession and words of spite. I try to breathe, try to push through it all and not let it blind me into a mindless expression of hurt.

I’d blamed myself, for most of it if not all and I was tired. We’d all made mistakes, all messed up but hearing that this, this distorted exchange of events was the decider for it all was infuriating.

infuriating and painful… so fucking painful.

A warm nose brushes my shoes before it moves up and I have to swallow the lump that rises suddenly when I feel Sassy rubbing her head to my thigh, a small, pleading whine escaping her.

Looking down, in a rush of warm emotions, I’m reminded of Will and Blaze, reminded of our small family and the way they didn’t hurt me. Reminded of the safe place that awaited me, the one that was wherever my mate was.

“I’m going back,” I say as I turn and head back the way we’d come, Sassy eagerly following at my side, growling at all who looked our way.

“Wait for Damon!” Levi tries as he rushes after me. “Don’t go, please! I didn’t mean to… I-I’m sorry.”

His hand wraps around my wrist and I immediately pull away, his touch scolding to my heart.

“I don’t want to go without fixing this!” He pleads desperately.

“You should go!” I shout and he flinches at the words. “You should go back to your pack and your mate because there’s no fixing this any time soon!”

“Damon, listen pl-”

“No! You listen!” I continue hurriedly, needing to find Will soon or I’d shift. “Everything that happened with you and the rest of the family, it’s still all there at the top and it hurts a lot more than I thought it did! It’s all still so fucking fresh and I didn’t realise because I’ve been trying to patch it all up! Fix it quickly because everything and everyone is so broken now! But it won’t work, quick mends won’t work! I thought I dealt with a-all this but I-I didn’t and I-I don’t…. i-it still h-hurts okay. S-So you go back a-and m-maybe…. fuck I don’t know, m-maybe I w-will too.”

The words were out in the option, the implication clear and frightening to us both as we stared at one another.

Before I could take them back, I turn away in a rush, desperate to escape him and all the pain that was building and settling, layering itself over my heart while it whispered for me to let it out the way I always had. To let it reign free and pour out all my agony to those around me.

But then Will…

I try to walk as fast I can before I let myself start running to the only person in this world I wanted to see right now. The one who was always there and always accepting, the one who loved all parts of me, even the ones I hated.

I ignore the tears and try to hold the pain down as I run from it all. Trying to escape from everything that I thought I was done with and everything that was only just building…

….and I run to Will

————-

Damon, my child, when will it end!

Thoughts????????

Do we feel bad for Levi or mad at him? Should he have gone about it another way?

If I hadn’t written and read Rogue, I think I’d find Levi annoying and a menace. But since I know how he thinks and his personality, I really only feel bad for him here. He’s a people pleaser and it’s fucked him right over when he tried to please the people he loves the most.

I still highkey blame Aiden for this portion of the mess, he shouldn’t have ever told Levi. SMH

Anyway, vote up and comment thoughts if you enjoyed this portion of the MEGA UPLOAD.

All in all, I hope this doesn’t seem repetitive, his emotions I mean, cause they’re not meant to. It’s supposed to be a little wake-up call that he hasn’t actually dealt with a lot of the shit and problems that made him leave in the first place.

If that didn’t come across, fuck.

Until next time,
Byeeeeeeeeeee Humansssssssssss