BTW – If Damon refers to his parents by their first names it’s not that he’s being disrespectful, it’s just less confusing that way.

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Damon’s P.O.V

I cut away a piece of salmon before lifting it and pushing it between my lips, chewing slowly as I watch my parents carefully.

Dad had made lunch, he had taken up the task of refilling everyone’s plates with a large smile while Aiden was laughing at something Josey said about Hagen.

They seemed completely unbothered, eyes light with nothing but happiness as they enjoyed our Saturday lunch together. The conversation was light, easy and didn’t seem to be strained.

They were smiling.

If something was wrong, they wouldn’t be so damn happy. They wouldn’t be so carefree if things weren’t okay.

But then again, smiles are the greatest weapon of deception.

There is no need to be so cynical D – Theo chimes in, his voice just as cheerful as always. I think they’re hiding something as well, but they must be waiting for a good moment to tell you. And whatever it is, it doesn’t change the fact that they’re your parents and love you.

Okay – I mumble, pulling my eyes away from scrutinizing them and only my plate.

I knew Theo was right, my parents had never done anything to make me think they didn’t love me. I was lucky with the pair I got as dads and didn’t have a problem with them being gay. Personally, the only dick I liked was my own, men just weren’t my cup of tea, but my parents loved one another and that was what was important.

I got along with both my parents just fine, when I wasn’t fighting them, in different forms each. I clashed heads the most with my dad, Julian, which seemed to surprise a lot of people who knew him to be the calm, controlled alpha. Aiden claimed that when we fought I brought out a rage in him that he hadn’t seen since they were teens, back in the ancient days when they were my age and didn’t know that they were mates.

I saw that as an achievement personally.

When we weren’t arguing, dad and I were fine. Dad was pretty chill about most things, relaxed enough to not trying to stop me from doing shit he knew I would end up doing, with or without his permission.

For my old man, Aiden, we used to bond over our ‘violent tendencies’. He’s a little fucked in the head like me, except he has an actual reason for it. But that didn’t matter before, he didn’t care before. He taught me how to fight the minute I could hold my own fork, that’s when he gave me the knives. I loved knives, they were probably my favorite weapons and I slowly mastered them over the years. He took me out hunting for rogues, tough me how to track them, taught me how to enjoy the chase as much as I enjoyed the kill.

Aiden made me strong and I was forever grateful to him for giving me that. But lately, he didn’t see it the same, didn’t see me the same. He’d changed and expected me to change with him. Now it was against pack rules to hunt rogues and suddenly, it was wrong to want to. He didn’t appreciate my skill with knives anymore, didn’t like the number of kills under my belt.

He joined the club that saw me as Demon rather than Damon. I guess I should’ve seen it coming, he was bound to at some point, but I hadn’t and now I was the fucked up one.

I stiffen when I feel a hand on my arm, my mind railing to bring me back to the present moment. I look up to see Peter looking at me. He wasn’t crying, a fucking rarity, but he wasn’t smiling either. He had a small frown that showed more with his long, blonde hair tied back in one of his messy buns.

“Y-You okay?” He whispers as if the room wasn’t filled with werewolves. No one seemed to notice though, not with all the fucking noise the twins were making while Aiden watched them with amusement.

“Yeah,” I say pulling my arm from his reach. I refocus my attention on my food not wanting to talk. Peter watched me for a moment longer but let me be. He was a smart kid knew me well enough to know when talking would only make things worse.

The conversations around the table continue to flow alongside streams of laughter, but I don’t join in, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I felt like an animal being put to rest, waiting for someone to give me the injection but never knowing when or where they would strike from. I felt bound in my own skin, chocked by my own lungs with the amount of anxiety that refused to give me a moment’s rest. It’d been like that for a while now, I was always tense, always trying to breathe. But there was never enough air.

So I just eat quietly, ignoring the comments about me brooding and try to convince myself that everything was okay. But the hairs on my arm still stood in warning, the air in my chest still thin. I brush a hand over my arm to lay them down and continue eating.

“I’m going for a run,” I inform once I finish. All eyes dart my way as if noticing my presence for the first time, I ignore the curious looks and walk to the sink. I place the plate inside before making my way to the door.

“When you come back, come find your father and me,” Dad says before I’m completely out the door.

I stop for a moment at his words, forcing myself not to turn around as Theo paces inside of me, instincts making us feel uneasy as if something deadly was waiting to make its move.

“Okay.” I force myself to grind out.

I leave before anything else can be said, my fingers clench and unclench into fists as I walk, aching for the feel of smooth metal between them. I shift the moment I’m outside, reveling in the feel of my bones breaking and twisting to make way and form my stronger half. I settle into the familiar feeling, sighing deeply as I suck in a lungful of oxygen before shooting forward.

I run straight into the woods. Soaking in the fell on the soil beneath my feet and the wind against my fur as I race through our lands. I first shifted at the age of ten and was yet to grow tired of the rush it caused every time. It made me feel safe and free to be in this form. The truth was, being in this form made the things I did more acceptable to others, my actions were attested to instinct and instead of mania.

It was safer to be in this form.

I slow my powerful stride as I approach the border, panting heavily as I look out into the remainder of the woods. I could go out there, there was no reason not to anymore. The beast that used to haunt us before was now Jayson and he was living it up in Canada with my brother. There was nothing left out there besides runaways which always made easy kills.

So I cross over and keep moving, letting myself trail through the unfamiliar territory. I snarl as I run through the trees, the smell of Levi’s mutt still here after so many weeks. I cover every trace of him I can with my own scent, but it wasn’t nearly enough. The fucker’s scent was practically cemented into this place, the fact just made my blood boil.

You’re just bitter he kicked our ass – Theo piped up, I growl at him to shut up but he continues. I mean, there was no way we were going to win that one, there’s no shame in admitting that.

Theo, shut up – I warn.

I said ‘we’, I’m not attacking you– He adds gently. I’m on your side D

I don’t reply, just pick up my pace until I’m sprinting through the endless lands. I keep going until I find myself so deep inside of the forest that I can barely the pack from here and only feel the faint trace of the link. I slow my strides when I approach a stream, letting myself drink as much as I could stomach before looking up. I shift, allowing myself to look around at the fresh land, untouched and unbothered, catching sight of the many animals creeping out of their homes and crevices.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I say before releasing a growl of frustration and warning, but that doesn’t send them running, they barely blinked.

There were deers with their fawns, birds on the branches, greedy squirrels and many more just having a ball. I shift before sitting down, crossing my legs beneath me as I watch each animal fond over their own while staying a reasonable distance from me. I catch sight of a few bunnies, but none nearly as big ass the fatass I had at home who was probably eating my clothes at this very moment.

“Leave me alone!” I snap, yet they just look up at me with large, innocent eyes that I wasn’t falling for. I knew they understood me more than they should and I wouldn’t fall for their doe-eye bullshit. When I was younger, yeah sure, but not now.

“No.” I snap and they drop the innocent look.

I twist on my feet to get a bit look at the bunch. They were all surrounding me like the little freaks they were, watching me with that light they always had in their eyes when they saw me. I was pretty sure that animals saw me like a drug and they were all addicts.

It was the most annoying thing in the world.

Ever since I was a kid, animals just liked me. Every single type of animal in the book, even the ones that I didn’t like. It was fucking weird, unnatural and so damn disturbing. I left my window open once and woke up to a snake cuddling me, I nearly shit myself before I threw it out the window. It took all the fun out of hunting animals when they came running towards you instead of going the other way.

The thing that I would never get was the way natural enemies passed one another by without looking twice whenever we had one of these little cult meetings. It was like an artificial war and I was their white flag.

I look around at the area now filled with animals, running around happily in their own little worlds and allow myself to lay down, folding my arms beneath my head. I look up at the sky through the tree leaves and close my eyes.

It was quiet here, in this spot. Nobody was fighting, no one yelling, nothing but the wind passing by and the happy animals. The fucking animals that were on cloud nine despite having a demon in their presence.

I hated them and their joy. Hated their easy life and hated the fact that they liked me. I hated it with everything I had, but… I needed it.

I knew I did but it didn’t make me hate their presence any less. It made me feel weak to know that I couldn’t last long without these moments. I needed these quiet moments every couple of months, sitting with something that didn’t see me as danger. Needed these moments with these animals, where I wasn’t feared, shunned, hated or cursed. Where I could sit here as I was and breathe, just breathe.

It seemed with every passing day, it became harder to do that much.

Hours pass and they were all still here. I laid with the fawns and Theo didn’t stop teasing me because of it. I was avoiding going home but I knew I couldn’t for much longer, the sun was coming down and I needed to get back. I sit up and slip my feet into the water, a cold chill spreads through me from the ice-cold water making me shiver but I keep them there. Stalling, I put my hands on my knees and lean forward, pressing my chin to them as I peer down into the water. I watch it move and let myself slip into the scene, with my biggest fans all around me and the cold water on my toes.

My head snaps upwards when I hear leaves crunching in the distance. I look to where I’d heard the sound, lifting my hand to silence the chattering animals. They quiet, sitting still as I strain my ears to listen. I barely pick up on the sound of feet on the ground and I pull my numb legs from the water when I do. I stand silently and look around at the animals who were trying their best to stay perfectly still.

“Go home, guys,” I say with a small chuckle, they unfreeze and scatter.

To Build a Home (Instrumental) – The Cinematic Orchestra – replay if you have to

I don’t bother to shift as I follow my ears, moving as quietly as the wind, slipping between the trees as I advance on the noisemakers. My ears pick up on the sound of faint voices and choked laughter, I frown estimating the probability of me stumbling upon rogues who hadn’t become so feral they couldn’t shift.

My eyes catch a pair in a clearing, I sniff gently but they’d assumedly masked their scent because I came up empty. It was a man and woman, standing close in an embrace, completely unaware of my watchful eyes. I keep myself within the shadows of the trees, making my way closer on soundless feet, the afternoon sun moving to illuminate them. I take hesitant steps when my hairs stand, my eyes focusing enough to identify one of them.

Amelia.

I stop in my place, eyes locking in on the two with their arms tightly wrapped around one another. I try to move, try to look away, try to breathe but my body refuses my orders, caging me in instead, forcing me to watch the scene play out before me.

I watch as they speak, watch the way her lips spread in a wide smile, a smile brighter than any she’d ever given me. I watch the way the man laughs from her words, watch the way she blushes because of it. I watch the way he holds her tight, watch the way she lets herself sink into, see the softness in her eyes. I watch while my chest locks itself, watch as my muscles confine my thumping heart.

I stumble forward, legs weak enough to let me go but feet strong enough to stop me from falling. I see the moment that they notice me, see the way panic and terror fill Amelia’s eyes as she pulls away from the man. A man who looked both parts hurt at her actions, while still fearful and cautious of my presence. He steps in front of her and my eyes immediately catch the action.

They’re mates.

I don’t know, how I’m sure, but I am. Somehow I know that they are. My eyes naturally drift down to her neck, the necklace wasn’t there anymore. It makes something crack inside to see the space their empty. Her hand covers the area, but I’d already seen the empty space. I catch the way her fingers shake, her body trembling as her lips move but yet I don’t hear anything. I wonder what she’s saying, wonder what she’s saying that makes the man’s hurt fade slowly. I wonder if it would make me hurt instead if I heard them too.

An unfamiliar feeling begins to seep its way in to my body suddenly, the force of it taking me by surprise, I frown at it and watch the way they tense at my reaction. It makes the feeling grow and my body lax against itself as dread and misery seeps into my veins alongside it. Her words slowly break through me, letting the pain in with them.

“I-I wanted to tell you, but t-there just was never a good time.” She says against the man’s arm, he was holding her back.

My eyes narrow at that, looking at the distance between us and the way he was on alert. Then my frown fades as it settles in, he was scared I’d hurt them. He thought I would hurt his mate because that’s what Amelia was, his mate.

She wasn’t mine. She was never mine, but I wanted her to be. I always wanted her to be the one next to me through it all, I thought she would be… but she wouldn’t. She was mated to someone else now, she was meant to be with him, they were made for one another and to him, I was just the one who would pull them apart.

“D-Damon, I-I’m sorry.” Amelia manages through her tears.

I watch her tears stream down her face as she stares at me, I watch the emotions zip through her vibrant, green eyes; sadness, regret, guilt, relief, and fear. I watch how fear makes regular appearances there. I guess she was afraid too, afraid of what I’d do to her and to her mate.

It sinks in then – Amelia wasn’t my mate.

I turn around, hand pressing against the nearest tree as I try to take a breath before letting the tree go and walking away. I take the path I’d used to find them, not bothering to silence my movements as I move forward. I focus on putting one foot in front of the other, focus on taking step after step until I find myself back at the stream.

I sit back down in the spot I’d left moments ago and look around, the sun was almost completely gone now and the darkness was seeping over all the places that had the light just a moment ago. The animals were all gone, the place empty of everything besides myself. I sit in silence, sit alone, sit with the darkness and the newfound sadness and I let it sit inside of me.

Amelia wasn’t my mate.

I didn’t expect it when it all came crashing in, I didn’t expect the force of it when my mind caught up with what I’d seen and what it meant. It toppled me over and forced the air from my lungs, it squeezed my heart in its brutal grasp and broke everything inside of me, not giving me the chance to fight back.

I close my eyes at this neverending misery, close my eyes and pull at my hair wanting it all to stop before it could do any more damage. I feel my mouth open, feel the way my throat strains with the force which crawls out of it, feel the way my chest heaves because of it. Then I did it again and again until my voice was hoarse and broken.

I felt weak.

I knew it was coming before I felt it, I knew the familiar hum that strung through me when it was building. The anger. I knew the way it slipped through me, I knew it well and knew what it brought with it. I usually put up a fight, trying to stop it from drowning me in it, but I couldn’t this time, not after…

I slip my arms around myself, clenching at my arms but my talons came out anyway, sinking into my skin but I didn’t feel it. I close my eyes and still myself to drown in it. I didn’t try to calm it or push it away, I let it flood me. It hurt less to get like this. The anger was familiar, I knew the rage and I knew it well enough to not feel its sting anymore. It drowned out everything else and I let it, let it pull me to my feet as I shifted and let myself rip apart the first thing I found with a pulse.

I found a rogue first, it wasn’t feral yet but it didn’t matter. I tore at their neck, let their screams ring in my ears and prayed it alerted more. I tore at their limbs until they burst free and the blood pooled beneath them. That’s when the others came and I lost myself to it all. Let myself enjoy the fell of life pull away from them, sink into the dance of death that I’d almost forgotten.

I let myself cast them down, one after the other. My mind blurring enough to forget which were rogues and which were not, it didn’t matter. I delivered the pain to them all, ripped every last one of them apart until there was nothing but blood. Taking my time to claw away at them all, I felt the blood drip from my teeth and searched for more.

I shifted when I grew tired, let my talons dropped and went on. Punctured necks and sliced away limbs, spread the pain to them until they couldn’t take it anymore. I found the ones that ran too, the ones that hid. Killed them all. I didn’t stop until there was nothing left.

I look up at the night sky, a half-moon shining its light down on me while my chest thumped its vicious beat. The blood drips down from my nails, pooling at my feet, my skin soaked with crimson, the taste of it on my tongue where my canines were.

I let my gaze drop, let myself look around at the blood-stained grass and the bodies which soaked it. I stumbled back, turning to look around at the expanse of remains that surrounded me, the moonlight shining on the pain. Looked at the creatures which brought me comfort earlier, now dead at my feet. Looked at the blood, the dismembered, the destruction.

My legs give way and I sink to my knees, closing my eyes as the tears slipped past them. I curl into myself and lay down, the anger was gone but the misery was still there and there wasn’t anything left to kill, nothing left to do but let it consume me.

Eventually, I gathered enough strength to stand, to make my way around the bodies and through the woods.

Heading back home with the hairs still standing on my arms.

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Poor boy can’t catch a break, feel like more misery is waiting at home. About ‘come to me when you get back.’ SHUT UP JULIAN!!!!

Thoughts?????????????

Did we like? Did we enjoy?

Chappy wasn’t that sad, I’m mad. I guess it’s too early to be bawling. Anyways, I think I’m fucked up cause I felt nothing but sympathy after Damon’s little kill spree.

Don’t know when next update will be so don’t ask, I will update when I update and keep you posted on my insta.

Until next time,
Byeeeeeeeeeeee Humansssssssssss