Nikola’s P.O.V

My knuckles wrapping against the door somehow becomes the loudest sound around me.

It’s like a bullet in a bustling street, making everything quiet before turmoil begins.

The beating heart on the other side seems to kick over itself before it rushes to pump even faster.

Nerves? It seemed impossible with who waited on the other side, but maybe he felt just as I did, or perhaps he was scared. I couldn’t blame him if he were.

Steps come next, ones that have my own heart racing to catch up to the beat of his. My magic teems as well, desperate to reach out and surround Hagen with it forever, but I keep those blinding urges at bay.

I would not be swayed by instincts tonight.

Keeping myself perfectly still, I listen while locks unlatching sound one after the other, until the final one to the doorknob twists free.

Time slows to a torturous snail’s pace while I wait.

Open. Open. Open. Please open. Let me see you.

Before I have to make my begging vocal, the door swings open, and that raging muscle in my chest almost explodes.

Vibrant, beautiful brown eyes meet mine, and instantly, I melt inside.

I wasn’t going to make it.

Hagen peers up at me with a gaze that sends all my working functions over the edge while I take him in with my parched gaze.

I’d told Hagen to dress nice, and he had, good Goddess he had.

Hagen liked hoodies and sweaters, not button-ups like the one covering his torso. He didn’t own nice shoes, but he was wearing a pair now, and he believed a little too much in bed hair for his dark hair to be trimmed at the sides and combed with care as it was.

He looked stunning, for me, for our date. That truth was enough to make my legs weak.

But beyond the new clothes and freshly shaven face was Hagen, my Hagen.

Older, yes, but his purity was still there, devastatingly sweet in appearance, as was his natural glow that tightened its ever-present snare on me.

My perfect Hagen.

“Hi,” he breathes out, trying for a smile as his fingers tighten around the door frame.

That slight tug of his lips does things to me.

“Hi,” I reply automatically, wanting to do the same, to smile, but it wouldn’t be as pleasant as his, so I didn’t try.

Hagen’s eyes dart to and from mine while he shifts awkwardly in his place as if he wasn’t sure what to say next.

“Am I too early?” I glance at my watch with a deep frown.

I should’ve waited.

“No, no,” Hagen rushes to fill in, as his small smile tries to grow a little, “I just don’t know how this works. Am I supposed to invite you in or…” he shakes his head before he can finish and takes a step back, “ignore me. Come in.”

I waver as I look down at the line between the hallway and Hagen’s place.

My first test.

Inside, I could see so much of him, of his new life. I could smell him too. His scent permeated the air there, so much so that it made the edges of my senses blur together.

That would be too much, too quickly.

Clearing my throat, I quickly shake my head and take a step back instead, “That’s okay. If you’re not ready, I can wait here.”

Well done, Nikola – Neo grumbles in a near snarl. He was trying to be supportive even though he wanted nothing more than to run straight in.

Hagen tilts his head, adorable confusion casting over his features as he scrutinises me.

I wanted to tell him the truth, that I couldn’t come inside because I didn’t trust myself in a place so fully coated with him. That I would likely shift and try to cover myself in his scent while dousing his space with my own.

He wouldn’t like that.

“I don’t want to impose,” I say instead in the hopes to soothe the matter over before it becomes an issue in his mind.

The pair of chocolate brown eyes I loved more than any other widen slightly with evident surprise as Hagen blinks at me.

I suppose I couldn’t blame him for expecting me to rush inside and take advantage of any situation to be closer to him. But I wouldn’t, too strongly aversed to doing anything other than showing him the better sides of myself tonight.

“Okay, give me a sec,”

Disappearing before I could respond, Hagen retreats into the tempting apartment and out from my sight, the distance causing Neo to whine pitifully as he tries to get closer.

Thankfully, Hagen returns before I have to fight my instincts on bringing him back to me.

With his keys in one hand, he offers me another one of those nervous smiles that cause fluttering pests to take flight within my stomach.

While he locks his place up, I stare at his back, soaking in every little detail to him I can.

Hagen knew how much I wanted him, cared for him and loved him, but I wondered if he knew how much he affected me.

I wondered if he knew that just smiling at me made the world seem like it was suddenly being flooded with colour for the first time. That when he looked at me, my magic tried to create new universes just for him.

If he didn’t, he would one day.

With his home secured, Hagen finally faces me once more, blessing me with his gaze as he lets his hands fall to his side, “Well, I’m ready when you are.”

I nod, brain turning so fuzzy I start walking towards the stairwell before Hagen clears his throat.

I stop and quickly turn back to him, worry suddenly spiking that I was supposed to hold his hand when I thought that would be the worst possible thing to do.

Had I misjudged? And if so, how was that possible?

“We’re going by car?” Hagen asks as he comes towards me, that small wrinkle between his brow returning as he looks up at me.

I wasn’t sure why I found his frown so enchanting, but I did.

It was cute. He was cute.

I blink at Hagen, noticing only when I force my eyes down to his that I hadn’t replied, “No, we’re not. I don’t drive.”

“Then, why are we taking the stairs?” Hagen asks as he looks past me to the path I’d been taking. “Do you need to be outside to cast the spell or something?”

Spell? Spell. Right, teleportation spell.

Somewhere between being close to my mate and trying not to mess everything up, I forgot that I was a hybrid who didn’t drive.

“No,” I answer as I shake my head a little and try to get a grip on my witts so that I didn’t end up making a fool of myself, not any more than I surely had already.

“Are you good to teleport?” I question as I face him.

Nodding with another one of those small smiles, Hagen looks straight at me, his gaze not nearly as guarded or frightful as I expected it to be. He seemed a little hesitant and nervous but not scared.

Added to that, tonight, his beautiful browns held something else I couldn’t quite decipher, but it didn’t seem like a bad thing.

I hoped it wasn’t a bad thing.

Calling on my earth magic, I let it wrap itself around Hagen first, securely him safely for the journey before I do the same to myself and take us to the spot I’d reserved for this night alone.

When we arrive, I immediately send my ancestral magic ahead to ensure that the secured landscape was just as I’d left it earlier, with no unwanted visitors that could ruin the night for either of us.

Thankfully, the only sign of life that returns is the endless nature around these rich lands that make my earth magic thrumb to life happily.

Dropping my gaze to my mate, I search for the queasiness that so often came with teleportation, but there’s none on Hagen’s skillfully carved face, only pure awe as his eyes travel over the illuminated space surrounding us.

I knew he’d love it.

Between two realms, in a pocket of untouched energy, were open fields with trees that grew at tall as the glimmering skies. The trees’ blue ballooned heads were nothing like the plant life in our realm, but they were beautiful in their own way.

The sky above was littered with the stars, planets and life that existed in the galaxy above, twinkling freely with constellations I could study for the end of my days.

Below it all, just under the spotlight of the two moons above, waited a simple circle table I’d crafted from the realm’s elements, paired with two seats – the distance fair and intimate but not imposing.

“Holy shit balls,” Hagen rasps as his eyes dart around the lands around us, taking in every detail he could, or as much as his brain could allow. “I-I mean… holy shit balls.”

“You’ve said that twice now,” I comment, which draws his gaze to me.

“Well, what else do you say when you end up on another fucking planet?” Hagen questions, seeming only humoured instead of petrified as I feared might be a possibility. “Where are we? Pluto? Mars?”

“Are those the only two planets you know?” I question, brow-raising while he scowls at me.

It was a genuine question.

“No,” he eventually grumbles, his eyes darting away before they return almost sheepishly, “I know Earth is a planet.”

My lips tug upwards while Hagen glares playfully at me, his eyes on me almost too much to bear.

By the Witches, I didn’t think I would ever understand how I’d been gifted a linker as beautiful as Hagen Calderon.

“I’m not sure,” I say, answering his initial question, “We’re in a pocket space between two realms in another universe, so I can’t say this oasis has a name.”

Hagen blinks at me several times before a humourless chuckle escapes him, and he shakes his head, “I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s you, after all.”

I frown. Was that a good thing or a bad thing?

Walking forward, Hagen doesn’t make it very far before he freezes and frantically looks around, “They’re no killer animals in this pocket-space-planet, are there?”

“None,” I answer as I point a finger to the barrier above us that brightens for his eyes, “even if there were, no threat would get through.”

Relaxing like a punctured balloon, Hagen nods, “Okay, cool. Not trying to recreate Jurassic Park tonight.”

I make a mental note to watch the movie.

Following after my mate, I watch as Hagen’s eyes fill with wonder as he stares at the soil beneath his feet.

Discovering this world’s unique response to movement as I did, Hagen laughs to himself each time he takes a step which causes the soil to turn a deeper shade of copper from the pressure.

“This is fucking insane,” he whispers to himself as he starts jumping from place to place.

I follow quietly behind him, in no mind to rush him when he was this happy, especially when I was finally getting to be close to him again.

It’d been so long since Hagen and I was alone like this.

For most of the meetings we shared in recent years, it’d been awkward, and he’d been so guarded. Not tonight.

Tonight he smiled at me a total of five times already. I didn’t care if they were only small ones, they counted to me.

But that wasn’t all. Hagen was laughing, something he didn’t do around me a lot, not since we were kids.

If it was only because the landscape enamoured him, I didn’t care. It was lovely just to hear it, to witness him relax even though we were the only two here.

When we reach our table for the evening, I fight the urge to pull his chair out for him and instead go to mine, watching as Hagen seats himself down with that amazed glow to his gaze that made Neo swoon internally.

Our eyes meet over the smooth wood, holding firm for a moment as we both seem to take this in.

We both knew this day would come, but I didn’t think either of us had imagined it being like this.

I’d envisioned more fighting, but I’d take my blessings where they came.

Shaking his head a little, Hagen lets a breath out, “So, how did you find this place?”

I struggle to answer that question with his attention on me.

Hagen didn’t seem to have a problem with eye contact, while it forced me to battle for my life.

I usually operated just fine with it, but with Hagen, it made me crazy.

Busying my hands, I open my void and search for our menus for the evening, “I explore,” I manage, “when I have the time and energy, I cast myself through various realms and universes.”

Hagen’s big browns bulge while their owner wearily watches the black magic twist open and close a dimension of endless nothingness before his eyes.

“T-That’s insane,” he manages when I hand him his sheet, seemingly shaken by the ancestral magic. “I mean, it’s incredible, and I’m definitely jealous that you just to play Dora through fucking space, but that’s still insane.”

“I suppose so,” I answer with a shrug, “I just watch, so I rarely run into trouble.”

“Watch?” Hagen questions, that slight frown returning between his eyebrows to derail my thoughts.

“I like to watch how things work,” I eventually get out, but not without much effort, “Ecosystems, societies, people.”

I hear the mistake in my wording too late.

I opened my mouth to fix it, but Hagen’s entire frame was already rigid as his eyes shadowed, undoubtedly recalling all the times I’d done the same to him growing up, but in a worse fashion.

“I only-”

“It’s fine,” Hagen forces out, voice cracking slightly as he drops his gaze to his menu. His heart was hammering once more, but not from nerves.

Mentally, I tear myself apart with curses while my magic snarls itself together, my dark magic and earth magic coming together to create something I didn’t want to see the light of day.

A minor mishap isn’t the end of the world – Neo rushes to interject in an attempt to soothe.

Neo was right, I knew that, but it felt like it was truly the end of the world.

He’s not running, and he’s not asking to leave. We’re okay.

That was true.

Focusing on the logic to Neo’s words, I force my own gaze downwards, breathing in slowly so that I kept the lid I’d had over my emotions intact.

Maybe I should apologize now – I hazard.

My apology to Hagen was one of the things Damon and I had practised to a great extent.

I would apologize for all the ways I’d hurt him over the years, explain that it was never intentional, that I’d been a child who didn’t comprehend why no one else understood what was going on in my head.

I’d promise to be better and then prove it with my actions.

But was this the right time?

No – Neo snaps before I could further contemplate – it’s way too early in the night for heavy shit from the past. He’s doing okay now, so let’s give it a second.

Neo was right, again. Damon had said not to overwhelm Hagen tonight, to take things slowly.

Agreeing reluctantly, I scan the carefully curated menu as if I didn’t know it by heart while I search for a way to get the conversation afloat again.

I was never one for chatter; I rather hated it actually. But with Hagen, I wanted to talk to him forever.

“Oh fuck!”

I snap my gaze upwards, alarm almost taking me to my feet as I search for the threat.

“Porkchops, roasted chicken, six different types of burgers, duck, seafood, and pizza?!” He bellows on a moan, “I’m about to lose my goddamn mind!”

If there were one thing Hagen Calderon would always love, it was food.

My worry drains from me like an uncorked sink as I meet Hagen’s excited gaze, so wonderfully innocent and joyful as if we hadn’t hit a bump only moments ago.

“I can have any of this?!”

My heart kicks in my chest as I nod, “Anything you’d like.”

“Fuck yes,” Hagen cheers as he scans the menu furiously again, “Do I have to choose just one, or can I just go crazy? Wait, better question, where is the food coming from? Wait, scratch that, you’re a hybrid. That was a stupid question.”

I can’t help my smile as I study my mate, who looked to be so excited that he was rambling faster than his thoughts.

Hagen had matured over the years, not quite the excitable monster he’d been when he was in the pack, but sometimes, when he was comfortable, with his family, or if there was food around, that monster came out.

I loved the sight of it, just as I loved all parts to him.

Catching my gaze, Hagen stiffens again before his cheeks quickly pinken until they turn almost cherry red.

Fuck.

Before he can spot my descending canines, Hagen raises the menu slightly higher to hide.

That trick would’ve worked if my magic wasn’t already making the thick paper transparent to my eyes, exposing my blushing mate back to me.

I lick a path across my lips.

“Sorry,” he mumbles before clearing his throat, his eyes still diverted, “food makes me manic.”

“I know,” I reply, my smile only growing as I watch him fight not to squirm. “And to answer your questions that weren’t stupid. You can ‘go crazy’ and get anything you desire, in any quantity, and the dishes are coming from your favourite restaurants.”

I don’t bother going into detail about how I’d acquired each of their recipes, or how an entire enchanted kitchen waited to make any and all the meals Hagen would request.

Strong shows of my need to please him often discomforted Hagen, and not in a good way.

Drawing his eyes back to mine, something behind Hagen’s gaze fills with that look I couldn’t quite name again, the one that made our hushed bond vibrate.

Hagen stares at me for a quiet moment, his thoughts painfully lost to me, before he nods slowly and looks back to his menu.

I knew he was hiding, likely not knowing what to say from here while I could think of so much to cover. I just didn’t know where to begin.

I wanted to know all I’d missed. To know how his classes were, what friends he’d made, whether or not he was enjoying this city or missed the pack.

I wanted to know what he wanted from me going forward – if he wanted anything at all – for us, for himself and our future. To prepare myself for the worse, even while I hoped for the best.

“How are you, Hagen?” I hear myself ask instead.

That seemed safer.

“Oh um,” Slightly startled, Hagen scratches at the back of his head as he shrugs, “I’m good, I guess. Nothing to complain about really.”

I try to hide my frown, but it must show because he rushes to add, “Life’s good. I’ve got friends, a roof over my head and a job that mostly pays for it.”

Despite his attempt to sound resolved, I could hear that his answer hadn’t been entirely accurate. But I kept that acknowledgement to myself and nodded instead.

“That’s good. I’m glad to hear it. You’re a supernatural living alone in a human city. It’s easy to worry.”

Hagen snorts as he waves me off, “I’m 23 years old, Nikola. I can take care of myself plenty, and like I said, I’ve made friends, some of them are supernatural too.”

I nod again while I search for something else to say that would keep him talking to me.

If I didn’t, I’d quietly replay the way he said my name a million times, and that would make me appear weird to him.

“What about you?”

I freeze.

“Me?” I question, head tilting slightly.

Hagen chuckles, “Yes you, Nikola. How are you?”

Was it strange that I didn’t know how to answer that question?

Yes – I ignore Neo.

The truth was, I’d been a bundle of untamed joy for the last year.

Counting the days in anticipation of this very moment and I’d allowed for very little thoughts outside of how I’d make my mate fall for me in the same manner I’d been falling for him since we were kids.

But I couldn’t say that out loud. That would be too much.

“I’ve been surviving,” I manage eventually, which makes Hagen grin for some reason. “What?”

“Nothing,”

“What is it?” I press, suddenly desperate to know what made him smile so I could do it again.

He shakes his head, laughing now, “Surviving doesn’t answer my question.”

I frown, pocketing this moment away to dissect later.

“No, it doesn’t,” I acknowledge, “do you know what you want to eat?”

Hagen frowns at me as he aims his menu my way like a pointed finger, “You know damn well that I do, but stop trying to dodge the question.”

Sighing, I search for something to say, “I am perfectly fine. I spend my days helping out in the pack and practising spells.”

There. That should be amenable.

Hagen studies me, gaze unwavering as he stares me down. I tried to ignore it first, to bask in it, but knowing that he wanted something from me, made that difficult.

It’s fine. I can wait him out.

Except I quickly found out that I couldn’t.

Hagen stare continues, boring into me until an uneasy need to give him what he wants surges up inside of me.

Those eyes on me. Foul play.

“I am happier than usual these days,” I finally admit, already regretting the admission even though it made Hagen smile widen triumphantly, his expression morphing into something close to sunshine.

I could burn under his shine for eternity.

“And why is that?” Hagen presses, clearly enjoying dragging this answer out of me.

“Because,” I lock my gaze on his and observe him, readying for his reaction, “I turn 18 in less than two hours, and we both know what that means. Added to that, I get to be here with you.”

Hagen tenses just as he did earlier, but this time, instead of appearing distressed, his neck heats up with something akin to shyness as he gives himself the task of looking at anything other than me.

Suddenly Hagen was interested in being an astronomer, his gaze fixated on the stars.

“I would like the duck ravioli to start and then the pork chops,” Hagen quickly rattles off, his desperate change of topic making my insides warm as he continues, “I’ll see what I want after, but I think that’s a good start.”

Propping my arms against the table, I watch my ruffled mate with humoured eyes and barely contained joy while he pointedly keeps his eyes off mine.

“What are you getting?”

When I don’t answer, Hagen’s fingers tighten around the menu while he groans, his eyes still refusing to meet mine.

“I swear to Goddess Niko-”

“I’ll get the same to start,” I reply, cutting him off before he could work himself up, “and then after… we’ll see where we go from there.”

Hearing my words for what they were, Hagen risks a glance up at me.

While he searches my gaze, I let him see my earnestness, let him strip me bare while I take him in.

So damn gorgeous.

Finally, Hagen allows for a staggered nod, a silent agreement.

I sink back into my seat, my smile refusing to leave my lips while my fingers dig into the seat beneath me.

It seemed like Goddess was shining her favour on me after all.

───────────────────

Our time together passed far too quickly.

Somehow our minutes together flew by me, far too fast to treasure in the manner I intended to if I wanted to enjoy it fully.

And I was, enjoying every second with Hagen.

I tried not to think too much of this evening beforehand, hating to hope for an outcome that might not happen. But even if I had, this reality would’ve exceeded it in every way.

Hagen was breathtaking.

It wasn’t just his handsome features that I’d always found attractive or those captivating, big brown eyes. It was in everything he did. From the animated way he spoke to the manner in which every thought and emotion showed on his face.

It was how I knew without a doubt that he was having a good time too.

We spoke aimlessly over dinner, as much as we could manage while Hagen ravenously devoured plate after plate while I ate like a normal person.

To his credit, he’d been tame for his first plate, eating slowly and carefully, but as the flavours made his eyes roll, he’d slowly unravelled his pretences until he’d dove straight in.

I didn’t mind it. I found it endearing, if anything.

But somehow, before I’d even noticed, we’d finished our meals – several platings for three courses and more – then the drinks I’d brought for the two of us – wine for me, beer for Hagen.

Our conversation wasn’t showing any signs of stopping, which was riveting in itself, but the hour hand was growing closer and closer to midnight, which meant that I had to take Hagen home.

I didn’t want to.

I wanted to make time non-existent, to stay here with him forever. But more than that, beyond that temporary urge, I wanted to be respectable. To do the right thing and be patient until I saw him next, so he’d be even a fraction as excited to see me as I would be to see him.

But knowing that as I did, didn’t make it any easier.

“You don’t understand! That food was phenomenal. I mean that lamb! Best fucking lamb I’ve ever ha-” Hagen stops his rant with his beer raised to his lips, that addictive frown tugging the inner corners of his brows down a little. “What’s wrong?”

I try to smoothen my features, but they resist.

“Nothing,” I breathe out, “it’s just quite late, and I have to get you home.”

The air seems to leave Hagen a little as he blinks and looks around as if he suddenly returned from a daydream.

“Oh,” he chuckles awkwardly, tapping the curve of his glass, “I didn’t realise so much time had gone.”

Such simple words, and yet their impact was so powerful.

Hagen’s words did more for me than he could ever know.

“I guess I shouldn’t keep the birthday boy out so late when tomorrow’s your big day,” Hagen continues before he drains his glass and pushes his seat back.

Reluctantly, I follow his lead, clearing the table and all the markings of our presence in this oasis as we get to our feet.

I keep my displeasure hidden as best as I can.

I knew this would be the outcome for tonight; I’d planned it to be so, a simple dinner, and then I’d return him home. There was no need to act like a wounded runt now that it was time.

Still, my movements are horribly rigid, my body struggling to do what it should as I met Hagen’s seemingly torn gaze.

To think he felt the sheer agony that came at parting from him, as I did, was heady.

“Take a breath in,” I instruct as I draw a little closer, “teleportation is always harder on the stomach after a meal.”

Grumbling something about the logistics of magic under his breath, Hagen nods, “Got it.”

I watch as Hagen passes his gaze over the private pocket of beauty we’d spent our evening in, the warmth behind his eyes sharing his unspoken reluctance before he faces me again.

“Ready?” I ask despite being anything but.

“Ready.”

Calling on my magic, I force it to cooperate despite its resistance, taking us back to the world we knew with all its nose and problems.

You’re pouting – Neo comments despite doing the same.

I feel like I’ve earned it.

At Hagen’s door, in the same place our evening had started, those fluttering pests from earlier harden to stone and fall pitifully inside of me.

Neo struggles to cage his howls while he paces inside, his disapproval spurring on my magic to spike beneath my veins, demanding that I take Hagen back to that peaceful space where it was just us.

But I knew better, so as Hagen looked to his door, I forced myself not to grab his hand and intertwine our fingers the way mine itched to do.

I would not ruin this night, I refused.

“Thank you for coming out with me tonight,” I force out, voice straining with the effort.

“A deal’s a deal,” Hagen quips, trying for nonchalant.

“I know, but we both know you didn’t have to. It was something you agreed to when I was ten, so… thank you.”

That look returns to Hagen’s gaze, the one that frustrated me to no end because I could decipher it no matter how hard I tried, which made it scary because it seemed to be reserved only for me.

“I wanted to,” he breathes out, his eyes holding mine almost defiantly as he looks up at me, “and I’m glad I did.”

The fluttering resurrects, and my heart pounds so loudly I struggled to hear myself speak.

“You are?”

A nod, “I am,” Hagen confirms as he shifts in his place, “I wanted to see who you are now. If it would be like…” He doesn’t bother finishing, not needing to, “or if it’d be different now, and it is.”

I swallow and fail, my mouth suddenly too dry, made so by Hagen’s impossible revelation.

Was I hearing right, or was I already home, asleep and dreaming about the way I wished tonight ended?

“I…” Hagen’s neck warms a little as his eyes flick from mine to his shuffling feet, “I had a good time. A really good time.”

Things happen inside of me—happy, flustered, painfully mundane things.

There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that Hagen could hear the way my heart was racing, none because I could hear his too.

Beating hard and fast, in perfect rhythm with mine as our eyes met and locked hard.

My body moves forward, desperate to be closer, but I force it not to go any further as I clench my fists at my sides and breathe deep.

I couldn’t waver now. I should keep my mouth shut, be measured, not overwhelm him. But there was a hole in the dam now.

“I know we have a lot to sort out between us, Hagen,” I breathe out, voice hoarse with all that welled inside of me. “I have a lot to explain to you and even more to apologize for, make up for, because I know I’ve hurt you.”

Hagen’s eyes fall, and my chest locks with shame, “but I will,” I rush, desperate for his eyes again, “make it up to you. If you’ll let me.”

Wary, hopeful, hesitant brown eyes reach mine, and I take the chance I’m offered as my body carries me another step forward before I can stop it.

The space between us was closing gradually, but Hagen wasn’t running.

“I promise I’ll make up for it all, Hagen,” I rasp, “I’ll be good to you, better. I promise, on everything. On my love for you.”

Hagen’s breath hitches. He was surprised by my sincere and freely given love that always seemed to rattle him even though anyone who looked at me could see it plain as day.

I was in love with Hagen Calderon, always was, always would be.

I just needed him to give me a chance.

Studying me with a heaving chest, Hagen’s eyes dart between mine, searching for a lie, a fault, while he gnaws on his bottom lip.

The action was temptation in itself, but I cared more for his answer at this moment.

Opening his mouth, Hagen tries to say something as he staggers forward a little just as I had, the space between us smaller than it had ever been.

Heart surging, hope building, I wait. Wait for his answer, for a chance, for my Hagen.

Please. Please. Please. Please.

Just one chance.

A short, stiff nod comes before Hagen nods again, adding more to the confirmation that took the air straight from my lungs.

“W-We can try,” he manages, that sheepish smile making a return to push my heart over a ledge, “if we take things slow and you let me adjust,”

“I will,” I promise, far too quickly, I know, but I couldn’t stop myself.

“Then we can try. I… I want to try with you, Nik.”

There were moments in a person’s life they remembered forever. Ones that imprinted on their soul to be carried to the grave and beyond.

This was one of those moments for me.

It took everything I had, all my strength and all my control, not to gather Hagen in my arms the way I wanted, to press my lips to his and lay claim to all that he had. To taste him until all he had on his tongue was my flavour, until he was irrevocably mine and I his.

But I manage, concentrating only on what we could be one day if I was good now.

“You look constipated,” Hagen comments with a smirk, “your face is going a thing.”

“A thing?” I question, lips tugging to match his.

“Yeah, a thing,” he replies, lifting his chin, “a happy, constipated thing.”

“I’m trying to stay still,” I explain, “I don’t want to ruin this.”

Sobering a little, the heat returns to the tips of Hagen’s ears as he nods and shifts his gaze away from mine once more.

I could get addicted to a bashful Hagen.

Before I could say anything else, whether to tease him or share more assurances and promises I meant to my core, I wasn’t sure; something like raw electricity ruptured inside of me.

Untamed and violent, it takes my breath from me and not in the way Hagen did all night just by being Hagen, but in the way that tries to suffocate me.

Spreading like hellfire through me, I feel my body shift gears, turning and twisting to make room for something more.

Something new yet familiar, invasive but natural, and suddenly all I could feel everywhere.

My magic, always present and overpowering, seemed to seep back, quieting to make room for the other side of me that pulsed like its very own heartbeat.

“Nikola?”

My eyes threaten to roll as Hagen’s voice sends me ablaze. Before, his rich timber was soothing and alluring, now it was tantalizing and irresistible.

As were those eyes, those eyes that were more than just beautiful, but an undiscovered treasure only I seemed to have found.

But even as sad as that was, to be the only being aware of them, I was glad for it.

No other should know how precious he was, not like I did. No other could see him, have him, because he was mine.

Mine. Mine. Mine. My-

Mate – Neo finishes for me through desperate pants and a building growl as understanding settles through the haze.

“Nikola?” Hagen calls again, worry marring his blinding beauty as he raises a hand for me, “Are you alright?”

I stagger back, creating space between us while my working brain resurfaced with fresh alarm.

A glance at my wristwatch said it all; it was past midnight.

We weren’t just linkers anymore to me, but mates in the way I always knew we were, only now I could finally feel that side of me too, and it was more than I was ready for.

It was staggering before, but this was… too much. Way too much.

Everything inside of me urges me to touch Hagen, claim him, bite him, the urge crushing me beneath it.

It was stronger now, more devastating than I knew what to do with.

“Nikola?” Hagen’s concern tears my heart to pieces, but I rathered his concern to his fear.

“I-I,” I step back again, words coming on growls now as my talons tried to press forward, Neo pushing for control, “I have to go.”

The frown on Hagen’s face kills a part of me, even more than the self-loathing to have to leave such a perfect moment between us. But I had to.

I had to put distance between us before I did something to make him hate me because that would kill all of me.

“What? Nik-”

“I’m sorry,”

It’s the only words I allow myself before I take myself home, yanking myself away before the spell could fully form.

My recklessness makes my skin burn when I crash into my room, but not nearly as much as my heart does at the sudden distance between us.

Agony claws its way down my back, causing my throat to ache as I bellow my pain.

Goddess’ mercy, not this!

Go back – Neo demands, snarling and fighting at me as the pain only grew – go back! We need to be with him!

I didn’t trust myself to be with him.

“Nikola?”

Ma’s careful voice and then her gentle fingers around my back come to me in pieces as the pain reaches a searing level, burying itself deeper until my consciousness begin to slip.

I could hear her but couldn’t understand her over Neo’s growls and my magic’s insistent burn to right this wrong.

Hagen. Hagen. Hagen. He was all I could hear now, all I could think off as if he didn’t colonise my thoughts enough before.

I knew what this was, that it would go away the second I was near Hagen again, but what I might do afterwards, I didn’t trust.

He was more important, too important. I had a chance, one I would not take for granted.

…Even if it tried to kill me.

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I feel like I scream at the end of every chapter but LSLEKGN.VMD,E.LR.R,ESGMLF

Thoughts???

I know it was just one date but fuck, so much happened! So much to think about, discuss, analyse!

What did we think of Nikola’s nerves? I just find seeing this side of the stoic hybrid so fucking adorable. It’s like when Hagen is near; he’s a toy come to life with real emotions and shit ughhhh!!

What about the date? What did we think about it? Was it what you imagined, or nah???

I fucking love these two. I love that we’re starting knowing their history so that we can enjoy the tense moments between them even more akjesnf,mdfgs

I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!

If you enjoyed, please comment and vote! It’s always appreciated.

Voting for February’s Patreon extras close Friday, so be sure to vote before then.

Until next time,
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeee Humanssssssssssssssssssssssssss