WE’RE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I KNOW THIS HAS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING, ESPECIALLY SINCE I PUT THE BOOK ON HOLD AFTER I STARTED IT, BUT WE ARE BACK, PEOPLE!!!!!

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO WAS PATIENT AND UNDERSTOOD WHY I PUT CONTROL ON HOLD. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT AND LOVE, I LITERALLY WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO CONTINUE THIS AND FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT IT WITHOUT YOU ALL.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!🥲🎉💞🥰😍🎊🎉

—–

A/N — You don’t have the listen to the music, but I wrote everything following a certain scene to the instrumental of her’s – where once was, which is on a constant loop on YouTube for anyone who may want. Please don’t play until told.

—–

Nikola’s P.O.V

“Do you think he’s sick?”

“Don’t be mean.”

“I’m not being mean. I’m asking a question.”

“Well, it’s a mean question. He’s just happy.”

“Happy Nikola… huh, how odd. I feel weird just witnessing it.”

“Again, stop being mean.”

“I’m only teasing– he knows that. Don’t you, Nik?”

Lifting my gaze from the phone that lay propped between my fingers and thumbs, I look between my two friends and nod.

“Told you,” Willow boasts before she plucks a greasy fry from her container and tosses it into her mouth.

Alongside her, sitting on the other side of the picnic table, Jacob sticks out his tongue at Willow before he catches my gaze and grins brightly, “Teasing or not, it’s nice to see you so happy, Nikki.”

“Am I not usually?” I counter, and they both share a look before shrugging.

“You can be, but you’re not usually this… outwardly happy,” Jacob replies, trying his hardest to word it in a way that wouldn’t upset me. “You’re like, really happy today. Either way, it’s nice to see.”

I nod and look back at my phone where I’d been crafting the perfect message over the last two days.

Hello Hagen, this is Nikola. I know you have classes, and I do not want to impose by showing up uninvited, but I would like to see you. So, whenever you are ready, please let me know. Nikola.

To me, it seemed like the right thing to say – even if it was a little formal – but I was yet to find the valour to tap the little blue icon that rested mockingly at the bottom corner of my phone, prodding me to send it. I reworded it time and time again, searching for faults, but in truth, it was faultless; it was nerves holding me back.

These horrible anxious feelings had been tormenting me since Hagen and I’s date, and sadly they were yet to go away. It was a simple message that gave Hagen some control over our next steps, but I still worried that it might be too much.

When we’d parted, it had been on great— no, perfect terms. That was all it could be called because it truly was perfect.

My plan to show Hagen what I was feeling could’ve gone one of two ways, and luckily, it had descended down the most favourable path where we’d been only a few inches apart; so close, I felt the warmth of every breath he took. I’d held his face in my hands, and not just that– Hagen had leaned into my touch, seeking me the way I had always craved him.

Goddess, just thinking about it had my fingertips numbing.

“Ah, he’s smiling now,” Willow announces, drawing my gaze back up. Despite her worried tone, her expression was the same bland thing it always was. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“It seems like we’re both in good moods today. You’re quite chatty.”

“We both are,” Willow retorts, smiling just a little as she eats more of her fries.

In an eerie way, she looked just as she did the first time we’d met last year— comfortably eating from the bench that had been unofficially dubbed as ‘mine’. Everyone in the pack knew that, but new as Willow was– and human, she failed to get the memo. So when she saw me coming her way, the only thing she told me was to ‘sit down or stop staring like a weirdo.’

I wasn’t quite sure how, but after that exchange, Jacob and I had gone from a duo to a trio.

“That’s true. Usually, I’m talking to myself, but you’re both responding today!” Jacob comments giddily, every bit the innocent ball of joy he always was.

“That makes us sound negligent,” I reply as I set my phone down with a sigh. “You should say you usually continue to talk even after depleting Willow and I’s social batteries.”

Jacob opens his mouth only to shut it with a frown. My point made.

Chuckling while she dusts the salt from her fingers, Willow nods her head towards my phone, “What were you writing?”

“A message for Hagen.”

She stiffens, her eyes bulging dramatically as she looks towards Jacob, who silently smirks and nods his head rapidly.

“You have Hagen’s number?! Since when?”

It made no sense saying that I always knew Hagen’s number— I felt like that went without saying–, but the fact that he’d given me his latest, on his own, was in fact new, exhilarating news.

“Since Thursday. I asked for it, and he gave it to me.”

“Just like that?” Willow asks, sounding doubtful.

It had not been ‘just like that’. I could still picture so clearly how Hagen had paled when I’d asked for his phone number and then the way heat had turned the tips of his ears pink when I reminded him it was the only way for us to keep in touch unless he wanted to always feel the presence of my magic.

Hagen had barely allowed us to finish exchanging numbers before he’d run into his house, beet-faced and unfairly tempting.

“Yes, just like that,” I reply firmly. “And now that I have it, I am reaching out the right way.”

I’d waited two days– it was long enough. It had to be because perfect message or not, I could not wait any longer.

“That’s good!” Jacob declares into the quiet. “Are you struggling with what to say?”

“What makes you believe I am struggling?”

“Gregory is back between your brows,” he answers as he makes a face, frowning deeply until the shape of a caterpillar forms between his brows. That caterpillar was who Jacob had christened ‘Gregory’, and no matter how much I expressed my hatred for it, he’d never let Gregory go.

“Thank you for the demonstration,” I reply dryly, but Jacob beams anyway.

“You’re very welcome! Now, let me and Willow proofread.”

I think on it for a moment, and when I can’t find enough cons to the proposition, I slide my phone across the table. Jacob snatches it up like a starved animal that had been presented its first meal in weeks, and holds it between himself and Willow. Within the next second, they’re both smiling fondly before Willow snorts.

“What? What’s funny?”

She shakes her head quickly, “Nothing. You just said your name twice– it’s cute.”

I feel my skin pull tighter at that comment. I didn’t want to be cute, and in reiterating my name, I’d only been trying to make sure he’d know who was messaging him.

“It’s perfect,” Jacob assures me as he hands my phone back over. “It leaves the decision up to him, and it sounds like you– which is all that matters.”

Willow nods her agreement despite her ridiculous snorts that I choose to ignore as I reread the message three more times.

“So, you both believe it’s fine to send it to him?”

When the pair nod, I read it once more before I finally press ‘send’, allowing the weight that had piled up to dissipate off my chest, but it’s not long before a new mass takes its place.

What if Hagen found it invasive? Or perhaps too soon?

He won’t; — Neo assures as he comes forward — it’s a simple message and a fair one now that he knows how we’re struggling.

I don’t want him to feel pressured because of that.

Maybe he needs to — Neo offers carefully — I want him to be happy and comfortable as well, but we both know if we leave it to him, especially after how we shut him down on your birthday, he won’t reach out for weeks, if not months.

That was no exaggeration, but it was still difficult trying to improve our bond within his set limits for us.

The fact that Hagen had even agreed to try was a true blessing, and I’d been nothing but honest when I told him that I’d take things at his pace; but with the added pressure of the mate bond, I might lose my mind before we could see the finish line.

This was the best I could do with our circumstances; I just hoped Hagen would see that.

“But anyway, I have—”

The ping of my phone silences Jacob mid-sentence, and when the name ‘Hagen’ pops up on my screen, I teleport to my bedroom with a mental goodbye to the others.

My fingers are disturbingly moist as I open my phone and attempt to seat myself on the edge of my bed, but I manage as Knots rushes to greet me, wrapping himself around my calf and peering down at my phone to read the message with me.

Hagen: Hi Nikola, this is Hagen lol. I know who you are, you didn’t need to introduce yourself, but anyway. I’m heading into work now, but if you want, we can meet tomorrow for lunch? I’ve got a class that ends just before 12, if that’s cool with you. Hagen haha.

They were just words. Words on a screen, and yet they were enough to make my entire body vibrate with a happiness it could barely contain.

Me: Hi Hagen, this is Nikola again. I just wanted there to be no confusion, and that sounds perfect. I’ll meet you on your campus. Nikola.

Hagen: Introduce yourself again, and I’m going to lose my mind.

Me: Hi Hagen, this is Nikola… again.

Hagen: You’re an idiot. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Me: Tomorrow.

There was no lava under my feet, no shaking foundations I could feel, but with the way my magic was charging within my veins I was sure there was chaos somewhere.

He said yes.

Lying down over the rest of my bed, I slide my fingers over Knot’s scales while he slides over my chest and positions himself under the crook of my neck. Between us, he was usually the happy one–, greedy for affection, but today I found myself just as happy to have his company.

Only a couple hours more, and then I’d be having a lunch date with my mate.

The shoe had to drop at some point, history proved it always did, but until that moment came, I planned to enjoy every second of this that I possibly could because I now had another date with my mate.

───────────────────

Play song now if you wish

Standing outside the Geology Building of Hagen’s university, I stare up at the sign with Gregory situated between my brows.

Geology. No matter how many times I mulled the matter over, I couldn’t figure out why Hagen would ever pick such a thing. I knew he was struggling to find his footing, but Geology? It was the polar opposite of him.

Hagen was vibrant and ever-moving; he needed something in life to match that constant change. Something eternally progressing and responsive. He needed to interact with something else that was living, and with no magical connection to the world, he could not find that in Geology.

It’s his choice — Neo reminds me as if I didn’t already know that — I’m just saying.

Ignoring him, I shift my gaze to my wrist, stealing a glance at the time even though I’d done so only a minute before, and knew that there were still five minutes to go before Hagen’s class would be finished.

I was always impatient to spend time with my mate, but today I found myself unfamiliarly antsy as I waited, and I was having a difficult time pretending otherwise.

Maybe it was because now I knew how comforting the energy around him felt when he was happy, like a soft breeze on a hot day. Or how electrifying his scent was– an ocean’s spray that brought with it the promise of many mysteries to explore. Or, Goddess, the feel of his skin under my thumb… so warm.

Nikola!

Shit.

No reminiscing or fantasising about Hagen— not here.

Steadying my stance, I fold my arms over my chest and eye the doors, resolved to wait patiently, or patiently enough, until Hagen walked out. That resolution lasted for only three minutes before a girl walked out and stared uncomfortably at me as she scuttled by— would Hagen react the same way when he came out?

Yes — Neo replies without hesitation.

Reluctantly, I turn until I’m facing the opposite direction, and my attention falls over the students mulling about the campus space. With nowhere else for my excited thoughts to wander, I ponder, not for the first time, how Hagen would react to seeing me.

Given how he usually reacted to seeing me, the answer– that it would be with disdain– should’ve been obvious., But he’d seemed happy enough over our brief messages, and if he was like that today, I’d be more than satisfied.

However, if Hagen looked at me with even a fraction of the tentative want he’d shown on Thursday, then the people around me might suddenly find themselves in the midst of a raging tempest.

Maybe we should direct our thoughts toward things that won’t promise the end of all life on this planet? — Neo muses sarcastically — Like look at that tree over there. That’s a nice tree, right? Let’s not destroy the nice tree, Nik.

I’m not going to destroy the tree — I deadpan, but when the rush of outgoing students makes my left ear twitch, and I feel him, I worry for it.

It’s visceral— my connection to him, so bone-deep and undeniable that I know exactly where he is before my magic even seeks him out. I feel him close, and I want him even closer. I want all of him.

He’s another part of me– the most important part, so when I turn and our eyes meet, my entire being feels lighter; the air I breathed more invigorating than it had ever been before— everything is suddenly so much brighter.

With his hands stuffed into the pockets of a jacket twice his size and his barely tamed, dark, dirty blonde strands fluttering in the wind, Hagen comes over to me, red-nosed, and perfect. He offers me a small, hesitant smile when he stops in front of me, looking up just enough for me to take in his handsome face.

All the anxiety that had been twisting inside of me rights itself from his presence; the world comes into focus, and the seemingly unrelenting noise quiets to a dull buzz now that he is here– the centre of my world.

“Hey Nikola,” he greets, smile growing a little bigger as mischief twinkles behind his brown eyes. “It’s Hagen.”

I feel the corner of my lips quirk slightly. “Hi, Hagen,” I reply, and Hagen’s grin grows ever wider. “Is this going to be something I should expect to hear from you each time we meet?”

Hagen shrugs, laughing a little, “You’re the one who started it.”

“I didn’t want there to be any confusion.”

“So you’ve said,” Hagen retorts, still smiling. “And now, I don’t think they’ll ever be any, so thanks for that.”

I narrow my eyes, eyeing him for a moment before I give up and ask, “Are you actually thanking me or is this sarcasm?”

“Oh my Goddess, Nikola,” Hagen groans, his laughter growing louder as he grips his bag straps and walks past me.

I’m stuck for a moment, too busy relishing in the sound of his laughter that was freely given to me before I snap out of my daze and rush after him. I fall into step at his side, keeping a fair distance between us while we walk, and Hagen glances at me, still smiling— still making it so terribly difficult for me to function.

“You are one of the smartest people I know, but you’re also the most clueless.”

I frown, thinking Jayson certainly had me beat in that realm, but I wasn’t going to start our time together bad-mouthing his best friend. Besides, Jayson may have been clueless in some areas, but his wisdom shone in many others.

“Maybe the world is full of nonsense, and I only take in the important stuff,” I counter, which makes Hagen frown a little.

“Maybe,” he mumbles with a shrug.

Had that been an odd thing to say? Too honest for casual conversation?

As we walk down the paved path with our steps synchronised, I keep my eyes on his dirty converse and my shiny boots, searching the crevices of my mind for a safe point of conversation that would keep things flowing as well as they already were.

I hated asking questions that no one truly wanted to answer just for conversation, but I was also unbearably desperate to make Hagen laugh again.

Perhaps asking about the weather wouldn’t be as torturous as it always seemed.

“Were you out there long?” Hagen asks, making me startle slightly. When I look at him, he gestures over his shoulder, “Were you waiting there for a while? It’s freezing, so I hope not.”

“I’m a hybrid,” I answer seriously, and Hagen snorts.

“And I’m a werewolf, but that doesn’t stop my nuts from—“. Stopping short, Hagen clams up as if a gunshot had just sounded, his entire face turning as red as his nose. “I-I mean—”

My lips stretch again, this time to form a smirk as I look down at him, “I think we both know what you meant.”

“I–… the cold… frostbite….”

I nod along as Hagen tries to speak, making futile attempts to formulate an excuse and get it out, but each of his efforts only makes his blush glow brighter, and my smirk grow wider.

I wasn’t unaccustomed to Hagen’s crude tongue– I’d grown up with him after all. I knew just how vulgar his language could be when he was with friends. I’d simply never been on that end of it– the one on the other end of a conversation where he was comfortable.

All I’d ever known was Hagen’s discomfort, but that was when I was younger and desperate for any attention I could get from him. I knew better now, and as a reward for my endeavours, I was experiencing his kinder, more amiable side.

I loved it. In truth, I loved them both since I loved everything there was to Hagen Calderon, but this was undoubtedly warmer– sweeter.

“On another matter, are we walking aimlessly or do you have a destination in mind?” I ask as we come upon the open gates that mark the end of the campus and the start of the city.

Hagen takes my offered life jacket eagerly, “I’ve got a place in mind that’s about a ten-minute walk. You can teleport us if that’s too far.”

It was too far. It was literally in my blood to not be a fan of exercise, no matter the form it came in, and Hagen knew that. But if teleporting meant that I’d be losing out on ten extra minutes in my linker’s company, then I’d be putting my legs to work.

“We can walk,” I answer, and Hagen nods before burrowing deeper within his jacket.

The rest of the walk is a quiet one, but I don’t mind. I liked muted strolls, and I was discovering that I liked them a lot more when I got to share them with my mate. Plus, there was something so wonderful about witnessing the way Hagen tried to walk whilst half buried in his coat. I couldn’t get enough.

True to his word, in ten minutes, when my heart is struggling to keep beating, Hagen leads us towards a busy and colourful corner cafe that urges my steps to slow as I gawk at my surroundings. It looked quaint– the type of place meant to attract students like bears to honey, but all the activity was making my head hurt, and we weren’t even inside yet.

“Are you okay?” Hagen asks, stepping closer.

Was this a dream? It had to be because where he was distant and careful a few nights ago, Hagen now stood in my space, his brown eyes full of worry as they dart between my own. I swallow, suddenly challenged with two impossible tasks.

“I’m fine,” I assure him whilst I try to shake out my fingers, but the prickling sensation doesn’t abandon my arms.

“You’re clearly not,” Hagen counters before he looks back at the restaurant. “What’s wrong? Is there some magic you’re picking up on?”

“No. There are just….” I hesitate, not wanting to admit my ailment but seeing no other option. I sigh, “There are too many people.”

“Oh,” Hagen whispers, frowning a little as he looks between me and the colourful abomination.

“I’m sorry. It’s fine. Just allow me a few minutes, and I’ll—”

“Wait here.” Turning on his heels, Hagen leaves me on the curbside while he shoulders his way past a group and disappears into the building. I stand glued in my place, trying to make myself move so I can go in with him, but only work myself up when I fail to do so.

By the Witch’s Hex, why did this have to happen now, with him?

I should’ve prepared for this; thought more about having to contend with my surroundings, not just my feelings for Hagen– but it was too late to regret the past. I just had to get myself inside, and this would all be sorted.

I’m white-knuckled with frustration at my incompetence by the time Hagen re-emerges with a determined look on his face. “So, I got us a quiet corner inside. Do you want to go in and see if it’s fine? If it’s not, we can find somewhere else.”

I blink at Hagen, slightly taken aback by his casual discernment of the situation.

“A quiet corner?” I hear myself repeat eventually.

“It should meet your standards,” he says with a small shrug as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

I give the building another glance over, doubting there was anything that even constituted as quiet in there but unwilling to not at least give Hagen a chance. So I nod, and with much effort, Hagen’s patient gaze and several deep breaths, I follow after him and head inside.

The interior is even more cramped than my imagination had presupposed, with several bodies crammed around the counter like sardines. Thankfully, Hagen heads in the opposite direction. He works through the barely spaced out tables to a back stairwell and climbs it quickly, leading us to an upstairs nook that had a table for two just beside a big window.

Hagen glances at me when we stop beside it, “Is this okay?”

I nod aimlessly, “How… how did you manage this so quickly?”

“I come here loads– I think I’m keeping them in business half the time. I know the manager, the staff and the fucking owner,” he lists with a chuckle. “I told Killian I had a friend who didn’t do well with crowds, and he said we can use their break corner if it’s cool with you. So, are you sure this is fine?”

“Yes, this is fine— more than fine. I’m sorry to cause so much trouble.”

Hagen’s shaking his head before I even finish, sliding into his chair and dumping his bag on the ground. “It’s my fault for forgetting that you don’t like crowds. I should’ve thought of somewhere better yesterday– sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I promise as I take my own seat across from him, my soul elated to have him so close. “But how do you know I don’t like crowds?”

Hagen snorts as he leans back in his seat, “I know things.”

“You know things?” I repeat very slowly. Hagen nods his head very confidently. “Like how you knew that earth is a planet?”

Hagen’s smile slips from his face, but it’s not long before it’s back as he laughs, the sound like music from the heavens. “That’s not even funny. It’s just rude.”

“Then why are you laughing,” I counter, and he bites his lip hard, trying to cut the sounds out, but I could still hear the muffled chuckles.

“Fuck you,” he snaps in defeat as he gets to his feet. “I’m going to get a menu– I forgot to grab you one.”

“If they do burgers, I’ll be happy with that.”

Hagen’s eyes almost roll to the back of his skull as he groans, temporarily paralysing me with the unexpected one-two combo. “They do amazing ones here. There’s one with chorizo and bacon— fuck! I’ll handle everything..”

He’s off before I can respond, which is a good thing because I couldn’t respond– not with the picture of his eyes rolling in the forefront of my mind.

Longing stirs within my veins as I picture Hagen making such sounds at my hand, his eyes rolling like that from a different form of pleasure. Raw need builds quickly, prompting me to follow after him so I could hold him and touch him in the way I’d been itching to do since laying eyes on him; but I force it down deep, burying it along with all my other less… suitable urges.

It would only set us back a hundred paces, and I would allow no such thing. Not even if I lost my mind in the interim.

By the time Hagen returns, I’ve re-established a firm grip on myself and met his gaze without a spec of my need seeping through.

“So,” he starts when he’s back into his seat, “what have you been up to? This week I mean.”

“Not very much,” I answer, and when he blinks at me, clearly waiting, I add,” I spent some time with Willow and Jacob yesterday, but I spend most of my time now strengthening my control over the bond and the link.”

Hagen looks down, unwarranted shame making him draw into himself in a way that made my chest ache. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” I assure him, wanting nothing less than for him to feel guilt over a problem that was not his doing.

“Yeah, but you’re suffering on your own,” Hagen grumbles, a Gregory of his own forming between his brows. “It’s not fair.”

I falter for a moment, wondering if perhaps Damon had been right. I hadn’t said anything about the mate awareness to Hagen and had no plans of doing so, because I didn’t think it would help the situation in any way, but now, Hagen sounded as if he wanted to share the burden somehow.

It’ll bring us closer — Neo whispers like a cartoon devil placed on my shoulder.

By force. I want him to come to me on his own.

“No, it is not,” I agree plainly. “But I am managing it, and seeing you like this, helps.”

The tips of Hagen’s ears heat again, but he nods quickly. “Well, um, that’s good,” he mumbles before he’s burrowing himself back into his jacket, trying and failing miserably at hiding himself.

Adorable.

“What about you? How was your class today?”

I hadn’t realised there was an easiness around Hagen until it slipped away right in front of me. Suddenly, his eyes were heavier, haunted by exhaustion and frustration that threatened to smother out all his light.

“You don’t have to answer that,” I rush to say while mentally berating myself for pursuing the topic at all.

“It’s fine,” he replies with a smile, but it’s not nearly as bright as his earlier five. “It was fine. I actually knew what was happening in this one, so… that’s always a plus. It’s just insanely boring.”

“You are studying rocks.”

Hagen laughs a little, one of his earlier smiles returning, “Yeah, I am.”

My insides bloom, exploding with pride for being the cause even if I hadn’t meant to. I’d just been stating a fact, but the reason didn’t matter; I’d made him laugh and brightened his mood again.

Win.

“I’m probably going to switch courses again at the end of this term,” he confesses while his fingers toy with a lone salt packet. “I tried being optimistic with this one, but it ended just as badly as psychology and photography. But who knows, maybe fourth time’s charm?”

Hagen laughs a little, but there’s no humour or joy in it, it’s empty, and it breaks my heart.

I wanted to help him, to offer advice and suggestions of all the areas I knew he’d excel in but instead, I only said, “Maybe.”

It was so vague and useless that I loathed it, but I’d learned through Dr. Otu that sometimes people didn’t want answers to the problems, even if offering the solution would make everything so much simpler for everyone. Sometimes, people just wanted to complain and talk, and the only job I had to do was to listen. Other times, those answers would be needed, but the skill came in learning which situation called for what.

Hagen didn’t want a solution– not from me and not as we currently stood– but maybe one day, when he learned to trust in me, he would.

“But enough about my sad and depressing failure at education. You’ve got a diploma, right?”

I stiffen, surprised to learn that he knew, but I nod. “I did two. Engineering and Zoology.”

Hagen’s eyes widen as a rush of air brushes past his lips, “Two? That’s… wow.”

I stay quiet, not entirely sure how to respond to that. With how Hagen struggled with his courses, any and all responses currently coming to my mind sounded like gloating to me, which was the very last thing I wanted.

“But wait– engineering makes sense for you, but zoology?” He wrinkles his nose. “How did you get there?”

“I am a warlock, one with a connection to earthly magic; it pays to understand the life forms I draw from,” I answer just as I did with everyone who asked.

“And?” Hagen asks, noticing an omission even in my quiet.

It was strange how he did that, the way he sometimes saw little things in me that no one else did. Strange and so wonderful.

“And, I like animals,” I mumble far quieter than I would’ve liked.

It was a simple answer that wasn’t anything other than the truth, but it always felt like far more when the subject came up. Sharing what one liked was handing pieces over to another, and I was never fond of sharing pieces of myself. But for Hagen…

For Hagen, I’d give him every conceivable piece of myself and then every atom in the universe too.

“I didn’t know that,” Hagen confesses, his eyes glowing for a moment with interest. “I mean, I know about the Emperor Penguin mania, but—”

“It is not mania.”

“It’s an obsession, Nikola,” he deadpans, and I frown. “I swear you like those penguins more than people.”

I scoff, “Of course I do.”

Hagen snorts, his big, perfect smile coming back into play. My fingers tingle at my sides, aching to trace it with my fingertips. “Of course you do.”

I keep my clenched fists at my sides, “They are the greatest gift to this planet.”

“And you say it’s not mania?” Hagen laughs hard, pulling his jacket tighter around him. “Yeah, sure.”

“Are you truly cold?” I ask penguins and everything else forgotten as I draw several spells to mind. “I thought you were teasing earlier.”

“I’m fine. It’s just a little chilly, but I’m f— oh fuck,” Hagen moans gratefully as my earth magic seeps into his clothing, warming him from the inside out. “That’s fucking good.”

I smile, my insides heating up just the same at his pleasure that was as rewarding as it was troublesome. My fists were now aching.

Hagen needed to stop making those sounds.

Wrapping his jacket around himself like a jacket, Hagen gets comfortable until he releases a happy sigh and opens his nearly sleepy brown eyes to meet mine.

“Thank you,” Hagen mumbles, soft and sweet.

Goddess, help me.

“Anyway, I was trying to say that I knew about the penguins, but I didn’t know you liked other animals.” He continues mindlessly, “I thought they were the one exception.”

I clear my throat— words Nikola, remember how to use your words. “I do. I will always put Emperor Penguins at the top of every list, but I like almost all of them.”

Hagen hums a little, his clear interest in me like sitting under a ray of sunshine in the coldest of winters. But before I can enjoy its warmth any longer, the amplifying sound of steps carries up the stairs before a man appears with two large glasses in hand.

“One watermelon, lemon smoothie and one strawberry banana smoothie.”

I frown at the colourful concoctions, “We did not order these.”

“Hagen did,” the man replies, straightening with a huff. “I was explicitly told to go heavy on the watermelon.”

I look from the man to Hagen, whose cheeks were burning as bright as a lantern while he tried to shove the waiter away, “Okay, thanks, Killian. I’m sure you’re needed downstairs!”

Killian scoffs but takes the hint, heading back to the busy downstairs area, leaving Hagen and me alone once more, now with two smoothies– one of which was apparently full of watermelon– my favourite fruit.

“So penguins,” Hagen starts with a nervous chuckle. “Am I right?”

“Hagen did you—”

“Is that a stork outside?” Hagen cuts in, picking up his smoothie and taking a greedy sip. “I wonder who’s getting a new kid!”

While Hagen fixes his attention out the window on the nonexistent stork, trying to pretend nothing was happening, I keep my gaze solely on him, waiting for him to crack.

To my surprise, he doesn’t.

Hagen glances my way a few times, but each time, he looks away a second later, making some new comment about the imaginary stork and drinking down his smoothie like a happy gazelle.

Shy and embarrassed, it was clear he’d play ignorant as long as he could– maybe for the rest of the meal, and we could not have that.

Nikola… — Neo warns, but I ignore him.

Yes, I wanted to take things at Hagen’s pace, but if he needed a little push then, what kind of mate would I be if I didn’t give him what he needed?

So the next time Hagen peers out the window, I quietly stretch my right leg out beneath the short width of the table until my boot brushes up against his ankle.

Hagen jerks immediately, almost spilling his drink in his startle, but gone was the stark apparently because now I’m the only thing he can see.

“What–” He never quite finish his sentence as his big eyes grow wide with more bashfulness at the realisation that the touch wasn’t anything accidentally.

Smirking, I caress his leg again, and this time, Hagen glares at me with something between confusion and want, and my blood comes alive.

Pleasure ripples through me, and I take the inch that I’m given for all its worth, rubbing my leg against his and feeding the desires that had me boiling from the inside. It’s not scent marking– not quite, but it’s close enough to have me satiated with delight.

“Now that I have your attention,” I mumble, my voice made heavy. “You told them to put more watermelon for me?”

Hagen shrugs, his half-glare never wavering, “And? I know you like watermelon. Is that a crime?”

“No.”

“Then why are you staring at me like that? And…” He looks down briefly but doesn’t finish that last bit. “Why the staring?”

Because you didn’t have to.

Because it shows that you care about me.

Because I never imagined there would be a day where you’d ever care.

Because I’m happier than I know what to do with this right now.

Because I love you.

I had so many reasons for that question, but I pocket them all as I bring my glass towards me, “Because I guess I’m just surprised that you really do know things.”

Hagen’s lips quirk before he can stop it, and even as he tries to pretend, I can tell that I’ve got him.

Eventually, he sighs and leans back in his chair, “I told you I do.”

“You did,” I admit, toeing his ankle and revelling in the colour racing up his neck as much as the fact that he was yet to pull away.

He could– he knew he could, and I would not say a thing about it, and yet… he hadn’t.

Noted.

Hagen nods a little, “Earth is a planet–”

“So we’ve established,”

“And so are Venus and Jupiter. We’ve got Mercury and Mars. Oh! There’s Saturn too and Uranus,” Hagen snorts, because of course he does. “The big blue one is Neptune, and then there’s Pluto. Little Pluto, not a planet anymore… poor little guy.”

Hagen makes a face as if he were truly mourning Pluto’s loss, but once the moment paases he meets my gaze with a smug, proud smile, “Those are all the planets in our solar system. I told you, I know things.”

I stare at him, my mate, stuck between wanting to call him an idiot and leaning over to kiss him.

I shake my head, an impossible smile already pulling at my lips, “Did you–” I laugh, “Hagen, did you go home and learn that after our date?”

Hagen’s chin lifts, “Yes,” he answers shamelessly. “Took me a minute– actually more like an hour, but–”

I find myself laughing, louder than usual, louder than I could ever recall myself laughing, but unable to help it. I’m half afraid that Hagen will get upset and think I’m laughing at him, but when I look at him, I find him smiling around his straw.

It’s not long before we’re both laughing against the ends of our straws, separated only by the length of the table, but connected beneath. The buzz of the cafe below is forgotten to me, along with everything else. There’s only Hagen and his light, the one that makes my soul yearn to find his and hold on forever.

Goddess, I hoped he’d let me.

———————

NIKOLA AMORENIA, YOU SWEET TALKING MOTHER FUCKER UGHHHHHHHH

Thoughts?????????

Thoughts on Nikola’s friends??? The text messages?? The meet-up?? Ugh, the planet and smoothies, I’m literally losing my shit!!!

I just LOVE these two! They’re so good, and I know we have so far to go, but fuck me. I just love their dynamic when they’re good.

For those wondering, Willow is a completely new character, she’s only been mentioned once in my notebook, I believe in Nikola’s Q&A.

As many of you know, I’ll be starting my final year of university this month, BUT I’m sticking to only writing one book at a time, so you can expect lots of updates for Control going forward. I DO NOT HAVE AN UPDATE SCHEDULE so don’t even ask.

Next up on the rota is an AM Rewrite chapter, and then we’ll see.

Vote up and comment if you did enjoy! You guys know I love hearing from you, so please leave any thoughts.

Until next time,
Byeeeeeeeee Humanssssssssss