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Hagen’s P.O.V

Stew wasn’t meant to be funnelled. You were supposed to chew it. I knew that— learned it young after the first time I tried to inhale a bowl of lamb stew and Dad had to keep chopping me on the back of my neck to make me stop. That meagre training is abandoned now as Nikola slides a third bowl of stew in front of me, and there I am, five years old again and funnelling stew into my stomach.

A staggered moan crawls past the warm and spiced meat in my mouth that’s so fucking good, it threatens to send me to the plains early.

“Thish is so goweod,” I praise in between a gasp for air and a spoonful of the rice and peas in my mouth.

Nikola leans against the table with a soft smile that evaporates the instant his gaze lands on me, or more accurately, the calamity I’d become in my attempt to fill my stomach as quickly as possible. Only problem? I needed another two bowls before I was anywhere near full.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it,” Nikola replies, his voice tight with all the disgust he’s doing a real shit job of hiding.

Because my father is Julian Heil and I’m inherently slightly evil, I smile at him.

Nikola locks up all over before he hastily pushes from the counter to escape having to see the shredded bits of lamb sticking out between my teeth. Back fixed towards me, he lets himself shudder and that sets me off into a fit of chuckles that almost makes me choke.

“I’m sorry,” I apologise weakly. “I couldn’t help it.”

“You’re disgusting,” Nikola declares over his shoulder, making me laugh even more as I rock in my chair. I drag my bowl a little closer in case he tries to take it away as I prepare to taunt him more. But I don’t get the chance to as I find myself pausing suddenly with a new thought in mind. Somehow, Nikola senses it in an instant. Turning quickly, he fixes me with a frown, “What is it?”

Warmth pools within my chest but I force myself not to get distracted as I ask, “Does that make you uncomfortable? Like really uncomfortable?”

Nikola’s frown clears in an instant. “No. I do not like it, and I wouldn’t stand it with anyone else, but it’s… you, so I don’t mind.”

“I can stop—”

“No,” Nik states, cutting me off so vehemently that it makes my eyes widen slightly. “You eat how you wish. I do not want you changing for me now that you know about my autism.”

“I wouldn’t,” I promise as I sit up a little straighter. “I just want to make sure you’re comfortable with me.”

Nikola’s lips twitch slightly, “Then simply continue as you have always been.”

I feel my lips do the same as I resist the urge to correct him on that. Before we’d stumbled into one of the castle’s quiet kitchens so Nikola could feed me, we’d spoken for hours about his autism and what he understood about it so that I could understand it too.

There were things Nikola wanted to make clear were just him, and others that were influenced by his autism. Like when he’d first started trying to rekindle our friendship and he’d write me apology letters. Him writing ‘I’m sorry if you feel like I have done something wrong’ wasn’t his autism making it harder to understand how I felt— that was just him being a dick.

On the other hand, even though he’d already told me that the reason he’d basically kicked me out his house on his birthday last year was because he’d been overwhelmed by the bond’s presence in addition to the link, the reason he couldn’t say everything he wanted in the moment was because when he was overwhelmed, he sometimes struggled to speak.

As we spoke, I committed every little detail I learned to memory so that I could be the perfect mate for him. Nikola said I didn’t have to change, and I didn’t plan to, but there were situations I now knew how to handle better, and I would.

Autism. It still shocked me a little when I thought about it— about the fact that I never saw it. In some ways, I felt stupid about that, but I guess you couldn’t find something you weren’t looking for.

Nikola had always been a puzzle to me, and it was like I’d gotten another piece to it, but it wasn’t the type of piece that slotted into place and completed the whole thing. Nikola as a puzzle had already been complete to me. It was more like… this piece just sat on top of a few others. It didn’t change the puzzle, it just came with it.

“You’re not eating?” I ask as I finish off the rest of my food.

Nik shakes his head as he leans against the counter, arms folded over his chest, “I need to make sure you don’t choke first.”

“Ha,” I snort despite my glare. “Eat. I’ll slow down.”

“Is that even possible?” Nik shoots back and this time, I really glare at him. He turns and fixes himself two bowls as well, one for stew and one for the rice. “Should I refill yours now?”

With an eager groan, I finish them off before holding them up for him. Magic takes both from my fingers, leaving them hovering at his side so that he can scoop the rice into one bowl and the lamb into the other without having to touch their soiled edges. When they settle back in front of me, Nikola follows suit, sliding into the opposing seat with bowls of his own.

“This will be my last,” I promise. “I have to leave room for dinner.”

“Dinner?” Nikola echoes as he turns his bowls a little in front of him. “We’re not going to dinner.”

I frown, glancing out the small window to ensure it was night time. “Your mom said I could go. We should.”

I didn’t necessarily want to go to dinner, especially ‘cause I was sure Lincoln and Kalem would be there, and while I was pretty certain Kalem would welcome me with open arms, I wasn’t too sure about his partner. But Aunty Kat had invited me, and it would be a step in the right direction to actually go and spend time with them, to show them that I planned to stay.

“They’ve claimed enough of our time today,” Nikola dismisses as he picks up his spoon in one hand and fork in the other. “There will be plenty of other dinners. We can join them for breakfast if you wish. But today has been long enough, and you’re still tired.”

“I’m not tired,” I argue, before I let my brows pull a little closer in contemplation. Was I?

Nikola said I’d slept for five hours, but I didn’t really feel like it. I was awake, but my body was heavy, and after facing his parents, I couldn’t deny that I felt a little drained. Shit, maybe I was.

“I am tired as well,” Nikola admits after he’s swallowed his food. “It’s been a long day. The last thing I want to do is socialise, even if it is with my family.”

“But you’re cool with socialising with me?” I ask with a smirk I don’t even try to hide.

Nikola’s gaze lifts under his lashes as he chews, narrowing faintly with a type of heat that makes the warmth in my chest sink lower.

“Yes,” he answers simply before he goes back to eating. It’s given nonchalantly, and he looks calm, but I feel his magic running through my veins like it’s my own, and it’s practically wreaking havoc with the glee pumping through him.

I smile to myself as I eat my food as well, slowing enough that we can enjoy this together.

Nikola and I had shared so many meals, given all our dates, but I couldn’t recall a time we’d ever eaten together like this. Without pressure, without me worrying about what he might do or him worrying about when I’d leave. It’s easy, relaxed, and even as simple as that is, it intoxicates me with an entirely new type of joy.

As I finish my fourth serving, I stare longingly at the pots waiting on the stove tops. I should get one last refill if we aren’t going to dinner, but I still kind of wanted to. Even if we just popped our heads in and said, ‘Hey. Okay, bye’.

Hagen! Try not to be such a gluttonous gremlin for one second, and think about this! — Zyair interrupts as his presence grows quickly — He doesn’t want to go to dinner; he wants to spend time with you.

I know — I reply, biting back my grin. Maybe it was a little twisted, but I liked Nikola being all too happy to speak to me when he couldn’t be bothered to do it with anyone else.

Focus! — Zyair hisses with strange urgency — He wants to spend time with you. You both are linked and happy— you got the parents’ approval. All that’s left is mating!

Spoon lolled in my mouth, I try my very best not to act strange so that Nik’s spidey-senses can’t pick up on it. I peek up at him, but other than a curious glance, he focuses his attention on eating his food. Meanwhile, the world ‘mating’ makes Olympic level laps in my head with no sign of stopping.

…you really think so? — I ask Zyair in a quiet whisper as if Nikola might hear if I didn’t.

YES! — he declares readily.

But he said he was tired.

‘Tired’ has never stopped dick! — Zyair declares with a manic laugh as his excitement bubbles out of him. I wrinkle my nose, trying to ignore that part. Sometimes, Zyair spoke as if he and Neo had already mated — I have convinced myself that I have, spiritually and mentally, so that I don’t take over and do it first.

I appreciate your self-control — I reply dryly.

Zyair’s inhibitions aside, he wasn’t wrong. Maybe Nik did want us to mate, to complete our bond now that we’d overcome the largest of our obstacles. If that was the case, then I… I was pretty sure I was all for it.

The realisation makes my face heat as I stare down at the table.

A year ago, the thought of being mated to Nikola made me want to jump out of a building from fear alone; now I just wanted to jump on him. Fuck.

“Is the choking happening?” Nikola asks with a raised brow. “If it is, you do it very quietly.”

“You are such an asshole,” I accuse with a chuckle. Nik’s gaze sparks slightly as he gazes at me. “We can skip dinner and see your family for breakfast in the morning.”

Nikola nods quietly as he readies another spoonful, “That sounds like a plan.”

Eat up — Zyair encourages with a giddy squeal — You’re going to need your energy.

With Nikola on the other side of me, I finish the rest of my food, deciding to stop after this one and wait in the meantime. I stare at Nikola while he eats, watching him with my hands fixed under my chin and elbows propped on the table.

Nikola mostly focuses on eating, but every now and then, he looks up and startles a little when he finds me still staring at him. It’s like he expects me to stop when in reality, I’m trying to memorise every detail about him like this. I would never ever take advantage of all the time I spent with him again.

I wanted a mental catalogue of Nikola doing any and everything at every stage of his life. My brain had proven itself useless for anything not linked to Nikola, so I might as well fill it with what it wanted.

“Let me,” I say, jumping up the moment Nikola finishes.

Stacking his bowls in mine, I take them to the sink and wash up quickly, wiping down the sides since I knew how he got about wet sinks. I wash my hands then turn, ready, only Nikola is still seated and staring blankly at me.

I tilt my head, “Did you want more?” It didn’t feel like he did, but maybe I’d read him wrong.

“No,” he dismisses quickly before he shakes his head and gets up. “Thank you.”

I grin as I push away from the sink and circle the edge of the table to get closer to his side. Nerves make me move slowly, especially when I find myself standing just a step away from him, but Nikola banishes any room for them to grow.

Striding into my space, Nikola forces me to look up at him while his grey eyes dart all over my face. He reads me, sees me, and when he’s happy with whatever he finds, he takes my hand in his and pulls me after him.

My heart hammers as I follow behind him. I half-expect him to teleport us, but Nikola decides walking is the best option. It makes my heart drop when we move from the bowels of the castle and enter hallways with crawling vampires, until I remember that I’m not alone this time.

Where I was used to glares and poorly-whispered words, we now meet distant gazes that avoid us like the plague. I look at Nikola, wondering if they just did that regularly here, but then I see the way he’s glaring at everyone, almost daring someone to look or challenge us, and I get it. He was doing this so that people saw us and got the message— we were together, and there was no changing that.

I also get a little hard, but that’s neither here nor there.

I don’t know how long it takes for us to get to his room, but I enjoy every second of the journey with Nikola so close, holding onto me and leading the way with no fear of what may lie ahead. What lied ahead for me was a mate-bite, so I’m practically nipping at his heels by the time he opens his doors and lets me in first.

The room is just as we’d left it earlier, though darker, until Nikola switches on the light and closes the door behind us. The soft click of the latch sends a shiver down my spine as I stand idly in the room.

Shit. What did I do now? Were we going to go straight for it?

Fear and anxiety try to cripple me, but I push the fuckers away as I glance back at Nik. He’s taking off his shoes, so I do just that and fix mine into place before I stand beside him. Nikola frowns at me, confused, but before that can terrify me, a familiar set of scales slides up beside me.

Knots hesitantly peeks around my hip, his dark eyes imploring and a little scared as he peers at me. My heart weeps at the sight of him, and I know him well enough to understand that that’s the look he shows when he wants to give someone a hug but is scared of rejection.

“Finally,” I groan as I sink down, opening my arms so that the bundle of scaled-up joy can give me the hug we both needed.

Knots hisses his pleasure as he dives in my lap, puddling himself before he slips through and wraps himself around my waist to slide over my arms. He’s heavy as big as he is, but the weight of him is comforting, reminding me of all the times we’d cuddled together when Nik had been gone and it’d been just us.

It’d hurt so much when he’d barely looked at me when I’d gotten to the castle, but I understood it. As much as Knots may like me, he was Nikola’s conduit first, and they shared a bond I couldn’t ever hope to understand.

“I missed you,” I whisper as Knots roves all over me, hissing happily as he does.

“He’s missed you, too,” Nikola states as he watches us. “It was very hard for him to stay away. He spent the nights against the doors.”

“Did you?” I ask as I hug the sweet guy however I can. “You really missed me too?”

Knots’ eyes peer up at me, and I know he’s a python and all, but I swear to Goddess, I see nothing but love gazing back at me.

“Alright, Knots,” Nikola says with a click of his fingers that has Knots shifting closer to me. “You can make up for lost time tomorrow. Hagen needs rest tonight.”

Knots doesn’t move, much to Nikola’s displeasure. I would have agreed with him if he wasn’t still on about this ‘rest’ thing. Weren’t we gonna… get busy?

“Knots,” Nik snaps, and finally, Knots wriggles away from me. He slinks off into the shadows of the room with what I’m pretty sure is a scowl at his master. Nikola ignores it as he offers me a hand.

I slide my palm into his, melting as the sparks from the contact buzz through me. Nikola tightens his grip as he pulls me back up on my feet and steadies me before he leads us to the bathroom.

Oh… I never would’ve guessed a wet one first, but I like this — Zyair muses whimsically, making my skin heat. I shove him back, forcing him out of my mind – No, please! I’ll be good! I just want to see!

Ignoring his protests, I give Zyair the boot so it’s just Nik and I. I loved the guy, but I did not need him watching if this was going to happen.

Only Nikola doesn’t lead us to the massive deep pool parading around as a bath or the open shower beside it. He pulls us to the large sink top and stops me at his side while he opens a cabinet for a toothbrush.

“You should keep one here always,” he states as he drops it in my palm.

I stare dumbly at the thing, like I don’t know exactly how to use it. But… was I losing my already-fucked mind here?

“Do you want the blue one?” Nikola asks innocently. “I thought you’d want it because it’s close to purple.”

“It’s fine— great!” I correct quickly as I grip it. “Thanks.”

Nikola stares at me, looking unconvinced and a little confused. I look at him properly, really look at him, and my shoulders sink marginally as I see my mate. He really was tired, like dead-on-his-feet tired, which explained his shunning of Knots’ cuddle time. I was too horny for my good when he just wanted to sleep.

Zyair is such an idiot. A soon-to-be-dead idiot.

“It’s great. Thanks, Nik,” I say again as I pick up his toothpaste and squeeze some out. I hold it out for him, but Nik doesn’t let me do his. He puts half the amount of my toothpaste on his toothbrush, and then there we are, brushing our teeth together like some lived-in couple.

I smile around my brush as I stare at him in the mirror. Nikola does the same, watching me with bright eyes that defy his exhaustion. We stare at one another, and the longer we do, the more the butterflies fluttering in my stomach start to kick up a fuss.

I was just looking at him and I felt so happy that I could die, right here.

When Nik leans down and spits, I quickly follow suit, washing up and rinsing my mouth before I deposit my toothbrush in the holder right next to his. The sight makes my heart leap, and I know I’m grinning like an idiot even before I glance at Nikola again.

“Bed?” I ask, and he nods quickly.

Nikola doesn’t give me the chance to worry about how this was going to go. In the bedroom, he tugs his shirt from his head, leaving me defenceless to an unobstructed view of his abs and chest. I swallow, quickly doing the same to avert my eyes.

Sleep. Tonight was for sleeping. Sleeping, Hagen!

But how the fuck was I supposed to go to sleep when Nikola took off his pants?! Nikola never slept like that when we used to share my bed. He always had clothes on, like me, but maybe that was just to make me feel comfortable because now as Nikola pulls back his covers and fixes his pillows, he does so in only his boxers.

Excited, Zyair tries to slip forward for a peek, but I push the idiot away while I thumb the band of my own pants and shove them down. A chill rushes over my body, making me shiver until Nik turns and looks at me.

Purple flashes in his gaze as his eyes move over my body. His magic follows the action, tracing my skin like a soft finger and making goosebumps spread all over me until his eyes finally meet mine again. The flaring buzz between us sparks and grows, threatening to combust.

Nikola swallows, seeming to take a moment before he gestures at the bed, “Let’s sleep.”

This was hell.

With a nod, I sink onto the bed, lying there for only a moment before Nikola’s weight plunges beside me. I glance at him, but that moment is all I get before he turns me on my side and envelops my body with his.

I knew Nikola was bigger than me, taller too, but I feel how much larger he is in every way as his body curls around mine like a shadow, only this shadow was cast a lot bigger than I actually was. His warmth engulfs my body whole, spreading quickly inside of me as he slides an arm under mine and circles it over my chest. It pulls a breath from my lungs, and then another when his other hand slides under the pillow beneath my head and intertwines our fingers on the other side.

“Shit,” I whisper as I slump into the Nikola-shaped blanket at my back. “Is this how you want us to sleep all the time?”

Because this was really close. Great. Wonderful. Fucking crack in my veins, but so close, and I didn’t know if I could do this every night and just go to sleep. Tired or not.

“Always,” Nik confirms while he nuzzles the back of my head. “I need you this close.”

Blood rushes south as I try not to shift, but Goddess, it’s hard not to with Nikola this close. I could smell him everywhere, feel him too, and it felt like a test from Goddess herself. The sad thing was, I usually failed my tests.

Nikola shifts against me, bringing his hips right under mine so that there’s nothing between us but the thin layers of his underwear, and I can’t help but wonder why we didn’t take those off too.

“Always,” he whispers again with a kiss against the back of my neck.

Goddess, save me.

The lights switch off, dousing us in darkness that I’m grateful for because Nik didn’t need to see the way I was reacting to having him like this. He could probably feel it, but that was beside the point. My breaths move with Nikola’s, deep and measured, but my heart is nothing close as it races in my chest. It’s an enemy of progress, insistent on outing me when I was just trying to act normal.

“I’m sorry if I have been distant this afternoon,” Nik suddenly whispers, halting my filthy thoughts right where they are. “It’s been a lot to process, from having you to speaking with my parents.”

“It’s alright, you haven’t been,” I dismiss quickly with a squeeze of his hand. He’d just been a version of himself I already knew and loved. It was different from the more intense version I’d unlocked in the library, but that was fine. I loved all sides of him. “You’ve been great.”

“I’ll be better tomorrow,” Nikola promises as if he wasn’t already fucking perfect. He nuzzles me, drawing closer until he’s half-draped over me and pressing me into the bed. It’s almost suffocating and it makes my chest ease with relief. “I just need the rest.”

“And that’s fine,” I promise against the pillow. “I’m just happy to have you. I don’t care what form you come in.”

Nikola hums, kissing my head and fondness blooms in my chest as I cherish each one. “You’re happy,” he states ponderously.

“Very,” I confirm as I let my eyes close so I can sink into the bliss of his company. “Did you not believe me before?”

“I did,” Nikola dismisses quickly, his hair tickling the nape of my neck. “But you were acting strange earlier. I thought something might be wrong.”

Heat threatens to send my face up in flames, and I’m even more grateful for the darkness hiding it. “Nothing was wrong. Zyair just put crazy thoughts in my head.”

Nik huffs a little as he slides his leg between mine, “Thoughts like what?”

Thoughts like this!

I want to scream it, but I stifle the words with a swallow. Nikola was clearly very touchy when he was comfortable, like extremely so, and seeing as I was easily becoming the same, I would have to get used to enjoying it without letting my horny intentions be known.

“I don’t know if I should tell you,” I reply honestly. I wouldn’t have even admitted that in the past, but in winning Nikola back, I’d stripped myself of any and all shame. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Now you have to tell me,” he contests as his thumb rubs against my knuckle. “You’ve made Neo curious.”

Sighing, I take a second to muster up my courage before I blurt out, “I thought you wanted to mate tonight.”

Nikola tenses behind me, and I immediately tighten my grip on his hand. Nikola wasn’t the type to run, but that didn’t mean that I wanted to let go of the easy closeness we’d formed lying here.

“Tonight?” Nikola repeats after a beat of silence. I hum while a fire starts at the base of my neck and travels up to my ears.

“I told you— crazy thoughts,” I manage with a strained laugh.

“Not crazy,” Nikola corrects as he relaxes again, bringing back the pleasure that had been thrumming through us from being so close like this. “Perhaps a little misplaced.”

“Why?” I ask as I try to look at him from over my shoulder. “Do you not want to?”

“Of course, I do,” he replies sharply, so much so that it almost sounds like a crack in the silent room. “I very much want to complete our bond, Hagen. Desperately so.”

I face forward again and curl tighter so he doesn’t feel the way my cock hardens. “Okay.”

“I only think tonight is not the night for it…” he continues, “and I’m not sure if you’re ready for it.”

It’s my turn to freeze as that statement drifts into my ears. Tugging my fingers free from Nikola’s, I turn my entire body around so that I’m lying on my stomach and looking at him. My eyes adjust to the darkness as he settles on his back with a frown, clearly not liking the shift in position, but I needed to see him for this.

“I’m ready, Nikola,” I state clearly so there is no doubt about it.

Nikola watches me, his grey eyes beautiful in the shadowed room, almost like moonlight. “I think you are ready for the mark, but not for the mating itself.”

My lips part as I choke out a breath, “I…”

I wanted Nikola’s mark on me, desperately. I wanted us to be bonded like we were linked. I wanted to have him be mine in every way, and me his, but I hadn’t actually thought about the mating itself.

“How we would mate—” Nikola clarifies in my silence as he folds his arm beneath his head. “Have you thought about that?”

No, because I hadn’t needed to. I knew it would feel good, no doubt about that. Everything we did felt fucking amazing, so it would be the same. But I guess I hadn’t thought about the actual ‘how’ of things.

“We’d figure it out,” I mumble, if only to say something.

I catch the way Nikola’s lips spread into a knowing smile as he palms my cheek with his free fingers. I lean into the touch, crawling a little closer so we are pressed together again. “It’s not quite something you just ‘figure out’, Hagen.”

“Why not?” I groan, fully hard now and done pretending Nikola couldn’t smell it.

Nikola laughs a little, and it’s like a love missile to my heart, “Hagen, we are two men.”

“I’m well aware, Nikola,” I reply. “It was one of the things I kind of had to come to terms with.”

Nikola’s smile spreads even wider, “One of us will have to bottom.”

“Yeah,” I reply, a little quieter as I look down at his chest instead.

“Which will it be?” He continues in his ever-present lifelong mission to spell everything out. “You need to think about which way you would want it to be. Because I know which way I want it to be.”

My gaze lifts to his immediately, and instead of amusement, there’s a silent hunger simmering in Nikola’s gaze as he peers at me. I know the answer already, he doesn’t have to say it, but he’s also kind of taunting me to, and fuck it—

“Which way do you want it to be?” I ask, holding his gaze with blatant conviction.

Nikola’s canines flash on the edge of his smile as he answers, “I think it’s exceedingly obvious that I like having you beneath me, Hagen. When we mate, I would want to be inside of you.”

… I made this bed. I could acknowledge that.

Sitting up, I drag myself away from Nikola’s crazy spell so that I don’t give into the suddenly blinding urge to grind my hips against the bed. It was bad enough wanting him, but with his unchecked arousal swirling in the air, and that wicked smile on his lips, I was a weak man.

On my knees, I look down at Nik as he slides his hand over my knee, tracing the skin there while he waits patiently for my next move. If only I knew what it was. What the fuck did one say to that? Especially when it made them so fucking hard? I didn’t know, or else I would’ve said it by now, and I didn’t have Zyair to help because he was an idiot!

“Why does it have to be me?” I ask when I find my voice again.

“It doesn’t,” Nik answers simply. “That’s what I’d like, and I believe, deep down, it’s what you’d like as well.”

My skin prickles as Nikola slips his fingers lower, sliding them down my inner thigh in a gentle, maddening caress.

“You don’t know that,” I bite out stubbornly.

“No, it’s simply what I believe,” he admits with his stupid calm and perfectly measured thought process.

“What if I want to fuck you?” I ask, pulling my leg back before his teasing fingers can make my precum drip. I push myself back, moving out of his reach, and Nik’s brows dip slightly with clear frustration.

At least I learned something from tonight— Nikola really, really liked touching me.

“Then, I would allow it,” Nikola replies so casually, my mouth falls open. “But I don’t think you’d enjoy it.”

“What kind of person wouldn’t enjoy fucking someone else?”

“It’s not just about the action, Hagen,” he replies. “Sex is a very intimate and intense thing. I think when we have sex, it will be both of those things, and you have a proven preference for being handled.”

I huff a laugh because it’s all I can do when I feel myself blushing like I’m cosplaying a cherry. I knew I was the one who said that they were going to be explicitly honest first, but in this circumstance, it looked like I’d taken after Icarus.

“W-Well,” I stammer as I look at my way-too-humoured mate. “Maybe I can handle you.”

“Give it a try.”

The world kind of plunges into silence as I peer down at Nikola. Nikola, who’s apparently insane.

“What?” I ask breathlessly.

Nikola shifts on the bed, splaying himself out properly as if offering himself up, “Why don’t you give it a try, and see how you feel when handling me?”

“You think I won’t?” I challenge, though internally I’m freaking out because I don’t know if I can.

“I think you’ll try, because you’re stubborn,” he replies with a shrug. “I don’t think you’ll like it.”

“Fuck you,” I bite out as my aggression sparks at the challenge. “Fuck you, I will.”

Shifting across the bed, I push Nikola’s legs up and plop myself in the space beneath his hips. All the while, Nikola lies there, staring up at me with interested grey eyes while I spread his large legs and hold them open.

“There.”

Nikola blinks at me, a small smile creeping on his lips, “There.”

My eye twitches and I feel my nails dig into Nikola’s calves, but that only deepens the arousal swirling the air. Nikola was turned on, like me, but I knew it wasn’t because of the position we were in. He was getting a sadistic little kick out of this, the fucker; meanwhile, my traitorous cock was starting to soften.

“Look, Hagen,” Nik instructs, forcing my eyes to his. “No, not at me. Look at our position. Our bodies. How does this make you feel?”

I don’t want to. I don’t want to look down, but I’d come this far, and I refused to give up without a fight.

Maybe I would like it. Maybe I just needed to get into it— give my body a chance.

Biting into my cheek, I force myself to stay where I am while I let my gaze drift down over Nikola’s large body. He’s splayed out beneath me, his long hair strewn everywhere, and there was so much open skin that should be exciting me, but it wasn’t really.

Nik’s muscled thighs were right beside me, but I don’t want to grip them or spread them— I want to lick them. He’s hard too; I could see the print of it against his underwear, and that was curiously nice to see, but… I didn’t like this.

“Fine,” I groan, dropping his legs before I push away from him.

Embarrassed as hell, I crawl under the sheets and curl onto my side, purposely lying away from Nikola’s warmth so I can glare at the wall in peace.

“Fine, what?” Nikola asks as he leans over my shoulder, trying to reclaim my attention, but I refuse to give it to him.

“Fine, I don’t like it!” I snap as I try to shove him off. “You were right, okay? No mating for me.”

Nikola huffs a laugh again and my fist curls with the urge to punch him, but before I can shove him off, Nikola pulls away first. My heart drops, mating and positions completely forgotten as I turn to find him again, but he finds me first.

I gasp as strong hands wrap around my waist and flip me onto my stomach. Moving swiftly, Nikola kneels confidently behind me before he forces my hips up. I squeak as he drags me down the bed until my hips meet his and his cock presses against my ass.

A fresh tidal wave of arousal comes crashing down inside of me, rekindling the drowsy spaces and igniting fresh ones as I feel my body arch instantly. I whimper as Nikola’s hand comes around my neck, forcing my head to stay pressed against the bed while he thrusts against my ass.

Shit.

Nikola stills for a moment, breathing deep as the room fills with our pants before he moves again, grinding his thick cock against me.

“Fuck,” I pant as his arousal consumes me, making my cock painfully hard and leaking in seconds.

Nikola groans as his cock teases me, thrusting against me and brushing my balls. My toes curl as I push back, wanting more, especially more of the little shocks that came to my hole when he brushed there.

I wanted him inside.

Bending over me until I’m presenting like an omega for him, Nikola sinks down slowly until his cheek brushes mine. He groans as I strain my neck under his hand, submitting as my world turns fuzzy at the edges.

“Do you like this?” He asks against the shell of my ear.

I nod frantically against him.

I more than liked it, I needed it now, all the time, forever. I fucking loved it.

“Words, Hagen,” he demands, and my body shudders eagerly beneath his.

“I like this,” I mumble into the sheets as he ruts against me. His cock feels as big rubbing against me as it had down my throat, almost bigger. I lick my lips as my mouth begins to water. “I like it.”

I shift against him, legs stretching out, but Nikola’s magic latches around me where his hands don’t, forcing me to stay still beneath him. My body strains until there’s nowhere left to go and then it just gives in, like my soul.

“It’s better?” He asks and I nod again before I remember my words.

“It’s better,” I admit, my chest easing with the pressure there gone.

“How much better?” He asks, and fuck me, he’s gonna drive me insane.

“So much better,” I whimper as I relish every jerk of his hips. It lights up my entire body and pumps so much arousal into my veins, that I know I can cum just like this if he continues. “So much better, Nik,” I whisper, gaze blurring as I relent beneath him.

Nikola hums low before he draws back, taking with him his weight, his heat, and his arousal as his hips part from mine. I whine, chasing after it, but Nikola removes his hand from my throat and withdraws entirely.

“No,” I groan, but Nik ignores it as he sinks back down on his side and pulls me down with him. He fixes us back into our position from earlier, snuggling close as if we weren’t both as hard as a bag of rocks. “Nik!”

“You want my mark, and I want yours,” he whispers against my neck. “But not before you’re ready for it.”

“I’m ready,” I protest as Nikola’s fingers intertwine with mine again.

“We have time, Hagen,” Nik promises as he kisses my shoulder. “We have gone through so much to get here, we can take our time with this.”

I groan loud and long as I slump in my place. Nik was being wise and shit, and that meant that he wasn’t going to budge on this, and sadly, it took two to fuck.

“This really is hell,” I whisper, bringing a chuckle from Nik’s lips that is almost sweet enough to wipe away my annoyance— almost.

“Try to get some sleep,” Nik encourages as he settles beside me. “We can rest and in the morning, I’ll make up for putting you in such a state.”

That sounded great, but I was hard now. Why couldn’t he deal with it now?!

I want to demand it, but I could already hear Nikola’s breaths evening out. My heart weans, compassion taking the place of any arousal at the reminder of how tired he truly is. I could live with blue balls for a night if it meant extra sleep for Nik.

“Night, Nik,” I whisper, sliding my arm over the one he had under my chest. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” he groggily replies, almost sternly, making me laugh.

“Not for long.”

Nikola huffs again, another one of those sweet laughs escaping him before he falls asleep, and this time… it’s more than enough.

—————

Every time I think I can’t love them enough, they do some new shit and I’m falling all over again big sigh

Thoughts???????

Thoughts on the meal scene???? On the Hagen’s jumbled thoughts??? On that last scene heeheeh????

For this chapter, I wanted something really domestic and simple but still really impactful. Like Hagen felt the most like Hagen from Rogue here than any other chapter to me. He was like chaotic but innocently happy, and obviously, now older and more sexually interested and I just love this side of him

I also love Nikola being tired and clueless to how horny Hagen is lmfao.

But that last scene 😮‍💨 Mr Amorenia, you will pay for your crimes. LIKEEEE the ‘give it a try’, the taunting, OMGGG, and Hagen saying he was presenting like an omega — SOMEONE SEDATE ME!

Anyway, what a brilliant start to Control Month! A sneak peek of Chapter 55 is up now on Patreon for the Gold Tier

Leave all your thoughts!

Love you all,
Tippy