Ages
Hagen: 16, Nikola: 11

If you forgotten, the dot means this is a memory chapter set in the past!

—————–

Julian’s P.O.V

“You’re being paranoid.”

“I’m not being paranoid.”

“Yeah, you are Jewels. I know your paranoid voice—”

“I do not have a paranoid voice—”

“And this is it–your super paranoid voice,” Aiden insists, making my frown deepen. “I bet your forehead’s all scrunched up.” I immediately relax my forehead, but Aiden’s already laughing. “I knew it!”

“Oh, shut up! You can’t even see me,” I grumble, glaring at the phone as though it were him. Maybe he’d see that too. “My forehead is fine!”

“Yeah, sure. Look, Jewels, I’ll be back in a day, and you’ll see that everything is just fine,” Aiden replies, voice slightly distorted over the phone. “I know you can’t live without me, but come on, babe— you got to get off my dick at some point.”

“Seriously, Aiden, I’m going to poison you one day,” I groan while I rub my brows. I swear he’d send me to the plains early. “This isn’t about you or Levi; I feel like something bad is going to happen— here, at home.”

“And you’re always right,” he says sarcastically, but I can hear the slight worry in his tone.

I wasn’t always right, but most of the time, I was, and after all we’d gone through, I had a knack for these sorts of things.

It was always the same— a strange feeling that started within my fingers until it took over me entirely. It was like the bones in my body had been shifted out of place, making everything feel wrong and mangled. Nothing was wrong with me physically, but the sensation wouldn’t go away until the ‘bad thing’ happened. It could be big or small, but I felt it like a warning every time, and even though the skies had been clear and the pack was happier than ever, I noticed it first thing this morning.

Something bad was coming.

“Want me to come home?” Aiden asks, seriously this time.

“No,” I reply as I sit on the bed and pick up the phone, “I’m sure it’ll be fine, and I’ll handle it if it’s not.”

My leg still hurt sometimes, but I was still every bit the alpha I had to be for my pack. I could take care of us if I had to.

“Maybe I am just being paranoid,” I mumble as my shoulders slump. “Maybe I just can’t believe we’re okay again after everything.”

‘Everything’ seemed like such an insufficient turn of phrase for all that had happened over these last few years. They’d been… Goddess, more than tough– they’d been excruciating.

Aiden and I hadn’t had pretty childhoods, and Goddess knew the start of our bond had its challenges, but I thought we’d overcome it all. I’d thought those amazing years after we’d started our family was our reward for doing just that, but maybe that was just me shoving more things under the rug.

As it turned out, we weren’t exactly the amazing parents we thought we were. We were hardly better than our own, and we’d almost lost Levi and Damon because of it. But things were better now, thank Goddess. Damon and Will were living in the pack, Levi was strengthening his own with Jayson, and they were happy.

That was the best part of it all– they were genuinely happy, and that was all I’d ever wanted.

“It does feel like a dream,” Aiden replies quietly, but I can sense the smile stretching his lips. “I’ve been here for days, and I still can’t believe how happy he is, Julian.”

I find my lips spreading wide as I recall my own time with Levi just the week before. We would’ve loved to visit him together, to spend two weeks there instead of one each, but we still had our own pack to look after, and we couldn’t leave Peter and the twins to their own devices.

As hard as the last few years had been for us and our eldest, it’d been the same for them, and we couldn’t forget that. It was the main focus of our therapy sessions now— remembering that even if they seemed okay, our pups went through just as much as we did.

“It would be better if a certain runt wasn’t here, but—” Aiden sighs, “can’t win them all.”

I can’t help but laugh, even while I roll my eyes. Aiden was adamant about keeping up the hoax that he didn’t like Levi’s mate, Jayson, but that was just their little game. We all knew that he cared for Jayson like a son, and Jayson needed that love, even if it came in a very bizarre package.

“Sure, Aiden. Sure,” I mutter absently as I take to my feet. “Well, I’ll let you get back to that. I’ve got to go start on breakfast.”

“Fuck, I miss your food. I love Levi, but fucking hell, he can’t cook Jewels.”

Laughter fills the hallway once I leave our room, phone pressed close to my ear, “He can’t have it all.”

“Sure, but he can at least make a burrito. How the hell do you burn a bean burrito?” Aiden grumbles, making my lips stretch even wider. “Anyway, I’ll call you later if I don’t die from food poisoning or your poisoning.”

“We’ll see which gets your first,” I tease. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Jewels.”

When the call disconnects, my heart squeezes just a little, but I knew how to stifle the pain of being apart with the joy still swirling inside of me. I’d thought I’d almost lost this— this blissful happiness that I only found when I met my mate.

It was a dream that we were all okay again, especially Aiden. It’d been hard enough watching my family fall apart, but my mate… during those months when I could only watch him waste away because of his own guilt, I’d never felt more useless, or scared. I never wanted to see him like that again.

I could only thank Goddess that he was finally back to his old self. I may tease him and threaten to kill him for it, but he was back to being the annoying yet charming wolf I’d known my whole life, and I couldn’t possibly love him any more.

“M-Morning, Dad.”

I stop within the centre of the kitchen doorway when I spot Peter inside, already mixing a bowl of pancake mix, with bacon and sausages searing on the grill.

“Morning,” I mumble as I look around, stunned. “Peter, you should be just waking up, not cooking. What are you doing here already?”

“I woke up e-early,” Peter says with a small shrug, “s-so I-I thought I c-could make ev-ev-everyone a big breakfast.”

“That’s nice of you, Peter,” I reply as I press a kiss to his head that makes him beam up at me. “It makes my job a lot easier.”

“N-No problem,” he giggles before he nods his head towards the mixing bowl with eggs beside them. “C-Can you?”

“Happily,” I reply, heart so full it just might burst.

I’d missed this, being in the kitchen with Peter. It was his little safe place, where he felt most comfortable, and I loved that we could share it together. Levi and Aiden might be out, and Damon and Will off to their own devices, but we could have a great morning with just us.

Josey would love all the protein in this for her training, Hagen would scoff it all down, and they’d give Peter a million hugs for making it for them. It’d be a hassle to get them to school after, but maybe… maybe I didn’t have to.

I wasn’t usually an advocate for skipping school, but maybe today, they could all fall victim to some mysterious sickness, and we could spend the day together.

We could all pack into the living room and do a movie montage with those animes Hagen loved, or maybe one of Josey’s favourite dating shows– those were always fun to watch. But if we couldn’t decide, we could go for a run, and spend some time in the sun.

Alex hums his pleasure as the idea settles in my mind. Yeah, that sounded nice. Some time for just me and my pups; some time for just us.

But then, I hear it.

I hear the smashing of glass and the shouting that follows, and finally, my bones grate until they’re back as they should be.

I knew it.

“Hagen?!” I call as I run out of the kitchen with Peter right behind me.

It was Hagen. I knew it because even while Josey’s emotions were a clouded mess within the family bond, it was Hagen’s that were spiking; Hagen that was shouting.

“I HATE YOU!” he shouts between almost hysteric sobs that make my pounding heart spike. “I FUCKING HATE YOU! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE! ME! ALONE!”

I spot Josey first, standing within the doorway, her brown eyes wide with worry when they land on me. She points a shaky finger inside, her words too muddled for me to understand, but there’s no need, because I see it myself when I step inside their bathroom.

Still wet from his shower, water falls from Hagen’s hair and body as he smashes his bloodied fists into the mirror atop their sink. It was already cracked and broken in places, but Hagen seemed determined to get every piece, his face a tight ball of anger.

“GET OUT!” he bellows, fists still raining hellfire against the glass, even when it tears the skin. “GET THE FUCK OUT!”

“Hagen,” I try, but he doesn’t hear me, his glowing eyes too focused on his fragmented reflection. “Hagen. What’s wrong? What’s wrong, pup?”

I go to him, catching his fist before he can hurt it any more, but he yanks it to his chest as he hastily stumbles back. Manic eyes find mine and hold, and then they fill with tears as his breaths catch.

“H-He was here,” he mumbles, the words stammered as fear and disgust rise from him, doubling with each second.

My world stills as I look hastily over the chaotic scene before me, “What?”

“H-He was watching me, Dad.” The pieces come together too quickly, but I hope and pray the picture they make is wrong. “H-HE—” he doesn’t finish, shuddering hard as he closes his eyes. “HE WAS IN HERE WATCHING ME WHEN I WAS IN THE FUCKING SHOWER!”

Sickness blends with rage, making my vision waver for a moment as my pup’s pain becomes too clear, too quickly.

I hate myself for already knowing, for immediately understanding exactly who he was talking about without having to ask.

This was supposed to stop. She said it would— that she would make sure it would never happen again, but it always did, and it was always worse.

My jaw sets, heart hammering fast as I look from the jagged fragments of the mirror scattered on the counter and the floor to Hagen’s bloodied fists. The house was supposed to be blocked against magic, but I could smell it in the air, though it was subtle.

He’d gotten in, and when Hagen had gotten into the shower, he’d been watching.

“That creepy little shit!” Josey booms from outside. “I knew it! I fucking knew it!”

I jolt as shattering echoes from just outside the bathroom, along with angered curses, but I couldn’t stop Josey now. I had to focus on Hagen after what that boy had done.

“Hagen,” I start, drawing his eyes to me only for them to narrow.

“I-I told you,” Hagen manages through stilted breaths as his eyes find mine with a hardness I didn’t recognise. “I-I told you a-and dad, and you s-said it would stop! Y-You promised!”

Guilt tightens my chest, “Katerina—”

Hagen groans, his head shaking quickly as he looks at me, “You promised! YOU!”

I did. Last time, when Nikola had stopped him from going on his school’s Easter trip, I’d promised that I wouldn’t let him do that again. And when he’d bordered the pack lands so Hagen couldn’t sleep over at his friend’s, Aiden and I said we’d make him stop. Just like we had when he’d confined him to his room when he was supposed to go to the movies with his friends.

We always made the same promises, always listened to Kat when she said she’d force him to stop, and here we were again.

“I’m sorry, Hagen. I’m sorry,” I say, stepping forward with my hands outstretched. “I should’ve done more— I will do more. I pro—”

I wanted to promise, to vow it would never happen again, but how many promises had I already broken?

“He was in here,” Hagen croaks, arms wrapped tightly around himself, but it doesn’t stop him from shaking. “I can’t even— I can’t do anything without him being there. H-He’s always here, dad! Everywhere I go, e-everything I do! He’s always there!”

“I’ll make it stop,” I would this time. I didn’t care what I had to do, didn’t care if it meant I’d make Katerina an enemy. “I’ll make it stop.”

But Hagen didn’t believe me. I could see it in his eyes that he didn’t believe I would, or maybe that I even could, and that— that look of doubt in my son’s eyes is more painful than I knew anything could be.

“I will make it stop,” I say more firmly, voice unwavering. “I will deal with it myself.”

I’d always left it to Kat because Nikola was her son, and he was young, but those were only excuses and if I kept endorsing them, they would cost me my own son… and that wasn’t something I was willing to lose. I didn’t care if Nikola dealt with a lot. He couldn’t do this to Hagen. No, not anymore.

Hagen blinks at me, hope flickering in his gaze even when I’d failed him so many times before, “Y-You will?”

I close the distance between us, pulling my pup into my arms and holding onto him for dear life.

“I will,” I vow, jaw clenching when Hagen clings to me desperately. “This stops now.”

————-

The last time I remembered being this angry, it was just before I’d killed my brother.

I didn’t plan to take any lives today, but the rage was fuelling every step I took as I moved down the sole path to the house bordering the edge of the packlands. It was a house I’d frequented many times, for dinner and game nights, during emergencies when we had nowhere else to turn, and during those lazy wine days in the summer when it felt like all was right in the world.

It was the house of a friend, and I wanted it to be after this, but I wasn’t holding out any hope.

The house just comes into view when I meet a third barrier, but I tear through it like all the rest. This one was made of dark magic that burned through my skin to cross, but I push through the pain since it was nothing when compared to my anger, especially when I knew who it belonged to.

It wasn’t Kat’s– I knew her magic too well from over the years, and since Apollos had no magic, it could only belong to one person. Nikola.

Alex growls deep within as my canines press against my gums, threatening to free like the shift I was barely caging in. I knew Nikola was just a child, but he’d hurt my pup— had for far too long now, and I was all out of patience for someone else to deal with it.

I’m only a few feet from the doorstep when the front door swings open, and Katerina comes rushing out, eyes wide with worry.

“Julian,” she starts, but I shake my head.

“No! No, Katerina!” I boom, my voice carrying across the surrounding woods as I close the space between us. “I don’t want to hear an excuse this time! There is no fucking excuse this time!”

She lifts her hands, “I don’t know what happened, but—”

“He was watching him in the shower!” I shout, and I’m seething by the time I stop before her. “He was watching him, Katerina!” Shame makes her gaze cower before mine. “This needs to stop, Katerina.”

“I know,” she mumbles tightly, head rising but barely holding up. “I’ll—”

“Do what?” I snap before she can say another word. “Put up another spell? Block him? You keep saying that, and we keep ending up right back here!”

“I know, Julian. I know,” she rushes, her frown deepening with frustration as she looks from the house to me. “It’s the link and the bond. It’s too much, and with their relationship as it is now, he doesn’t—”

“He was in our home— in his room, watching Hagen while he was in the shower,” I grind out slowly, so she heard it too— so she understood. “He was watching Hagen while he was—” I stop, voice tightening as her gaze lifts, questioning and hoping her suspicion was wrong.

Hagen hadn’t said it, but I knew. I’d smelt the faint whiff of arousal in the air, barely there amidst all the fear drenching the space. Katerina pales as understanding dawns, some of the colour in her bright eyes dulling. Her lips part, but not a single word comes out as horror replaces the fight within.

“I don’t give a damn about the link, the bond, or anything else,” I snap, loud enough for him and Apollos to hear inside. “I don’t care anymore. I used to– I truly did because I know it’s a lot for him, but that’s exactly why it’s gotten this far. We keep considering his situation and making excuses, and look what he’s done now! Look what he’s done to my son!”

My heart drums, eyes watering as the anger at him and myself inflates so much it nearly blinds me.

I knew Nikola’s life was harder than most as a hybrid, which was precisely why I’d always sympathised with him. I’d never asked because neither Kat nor Apollos seemed keen to share it, but I knew he was autistic, and I couldn’t imagine what it was like to deal with that, his magic, and the link he felt to Hagen.

It was a complex issue, which was why I used to tell Hagen he just liked him too much at the start. When they were too young, it seemed like innocent affection, but this wasn’t innocent anymore, and it wasn’t affection.

“It’s sick, Kat,” I snap and she physically recoils.”It’s sick, and I’m not letting it happen again.”

This time, Kat doesn’t try to argue or reason. This time, she stays quiet, head bowed with guilt, and I look beyond her to the open doorway.

“Nikola!” I call, letting the command as his alpha carry through my tone.

“Julian,” Kat starts, but stops when my eyes cut to her. She may be a witch, but she had joined our pack which made me her alpha.

“I’m done listening,” I mutter just as Nikola steps out from the depths of the house with Apollos at his side.

Matching grey eyes wide with fright settle on me as they move. Against their will they step forward, their bodies forcing them to listen to their alpha’s command.

“Julian, we didn’t know,” Apollos starts, but he too quiets when my sharp gaze settles on him.

Nikola is shaking by the time he stops before me, his body trembling quietly, his head bowed low like his parents as they try to withstand the force of my mounting rage. I was vaguely aware of the pheromones saturating the space around us, of the anger that was no doubt compelling the entire pack into submission, but I don’t try to curb it.

I’d come here as a father time and time again, and it had never worked, so this time, I was here as his alpha.

“Look at me,” I demand, voice sharp as a whip.

Nikola’s head lifts, but then Apollos steps in front of him, silently begging me to reconsider, to have compassion, to be understanding, but I’d been all those things before.

I take a step closer as a growl rumbles within my chest, “Move, Apollos. Or I will move you.”

Apollos’ jaw tightens but he wasn’t willing to challenge me, his alpha, and the fight quickly flickers out of him. Reluctantly, and with some effort, he steps aside, bringing Nikola back into my view.

A mop of brown hair lifts and scared grey eyes reveal themselves, “I-I—”

“You will stay away from Hagen. In magic, in spirit, in body, you will go nowhere near him,” I state, each word as clear as the alpha’s command in my tone. “You are no longer welcomed into our home in any shape or form. I no longer welcome you into our home. I will not release this command unless Hagen asks it– if he ever asks it. If you disobey, you will no longer be a member of this pack.”

The command seals itself much like a witch’s spell, locking into place between us and leaving no room to be tampered with.

Nikola would leave Hagen alone, he had to, or else, he would lose his pack.

I didn’t think the pack mattered to Nikola as much as Hagen did, so the command was not enough to deter him on its own, but it wasn’t on its own. If Nikola was kicked out of the pack, Apollos and Katerina would go with him, and Nikola loved his parents too much to take their home from them.

He knew of his mother’s life before she found Apollos, knew how desperately she needed shelter and how hard she’d fought against it before she finally found it with us. Katerina loved this pack, loved her home, and it would kill her to have to leave it, but she would do it for her son.

So this was a choice– Hagen or his parents. He saw it; I knew he did because when the command takes root and it settles between us, something breaks behind Nikola’s widening eyes and they quickly well. Soon, tears are lining his cheeks, spilling unchecked as his lips move soundlessly, pleading.

The pain in his eyes hardly moves me as I remember the pain in Hagen’s, the pain that had been there for so very long because of him.

At first, we’d tried to make Hagen understand that there was a witch’s link between them and so there would likely be a mate’s bond too. I thought maybe Hagen was scared of being mated to someone younger than him, and needed time to adjust, and then I thought it was because Nikola was male, when in truth, none of that mattered.

I should’ve never taken Nikola’s side, never concerned myself so much with the ‘why’, because even if there was a bond there, if Hagen didn’t want Nikola, then that was his choice.

Hagen’s life was his own, and only his own, not something for Nikola to play with.

So his tears didn’t affect me, neither did the pleas or the anger in Katerina’s own tearful gaze.

I should’ve done this years ago.

When I return to the house, I find Hagen in bed with Peter and Josey curled around him. Peter’s hugging him and whispering sweet vows of protection, while Josey promises to skewer Nikola herself the next time she lays eyes on him. An untouched plate of now cold food sits on the nightstand, along with a full cup of water placed next to bloodied tissues.

The scene makes it hard for me to continue, to step any closer when I didn’t deserve to.

How was it that I let this go on for so long?

As Hagen meekly looks up from the bed, I find the courage to move forward until I settle on the edge.

“What happened?” Josey asks before he can. “We felt you— you were really really angry, dad.”

I nod, recalling the wide reception everyone in the pack had given me on the way back, if they hadn’t already scurried off.

“I am, still,” I admit before I swallow and look at Hagen directly. “But he won’t bother you again,” I promise and this time, I know it’s true. “I’m sorry it took this long, Hagen. I’m so so sor—”

Hagen’s in my arms before I can finish, clinging to me so tightly that my ribs hurt, but I hold him just the same, thanking Goddess he didn’t hate me.

“You—” he stops, brown eyes wide as they dart between mine. “W-What did you do?”

“I took care of it,” I reply as I wipe at his still-wet cheeks. “He won’t come anywhere near you again.”

Hagen stills, his mouth ajar with disbelief. He looks to Josey, and then back at me as his lips begin to tremble just a little, “Really?”

“Really,” I assure him.

“Y-You promise?” Hagen asks shakily, causing my heart to creak as it squeezes painfully.

I’d made so many promises before, so many that I’d broken, and yet, here Hagen was, still believing in me.

“I promise, pup,” I whisper as I tighten my hold on him, letting this too take root. “I promise.”

I’d sooner die before I broke another promise to my boy.

———————

PAPA BEAR JULIAN!!!!!!!!! *SETS OFF SIRENS*

Thoughts???!?!?!

Thoughts on Nikola’s creepy and pervy actions??? Thoughts on Julian’s reaction and what he does??!?!

I know a lot of people were wondering why the parents didn’t do more, or what they ever did, so I thought it would be a great opportunity to show it here.

Also, as Hagen and Nikola go forward in the present, I wanted to show why it is that Hagen reacts the way that he does when they’re intimate or progress quickly– there is a big and dirty past between them that we’ve really only seen snippets of.

So, yeah, not the most enjoyable thing to witness in their relationship but I personally LOVED seeing Julian being a total alpha and good father!

Not sure when next chapter is, life is all over the place, but I hope it’ll be soon.

Until next time,
Byeeeeeeeee Humansssssssssssss