Nikola’s P.O.V

The worst part was, it was my fault.

I couldn’t blame anyone else- I’d seen to that. In this, I’d made all the decisions, so there was no one else to fault or claim I would’ve done any better in their position because I hadn’t.

I’d had full control over the situation, and now, the very worst thing that could’ve happened, happened. So it was my fault. It was all my fault.

“Nikola,” I look up from where my fingers tapped atop my thigh to meet Dr.Otu’s gentle coral gaze. “I asked how you were.”

“Oh,” I reply while I think of an appropriate response. “I’m not doing particularly well.”

She frowns, her expression turning sympathetic as she shifts in her hanging owl chair. The movement makes the suspended furniture swing slightly, causing a short pendulum that confiscates my attention for some time.

When it eventually settles, I’m amidst my fingers’ three-count muted song before I remember where I am. I look back at Dr.Otto, not surprised in the slightest to find her watching me patiently.

“Did you reply?” I ask, and she nods. “I’m sorry.”

“You never have to apologise to me for being who you are, Nikola,” she reminds me for what was roughly the nineteen hundredth time in my life. “I said that I was sorry to hear that. You were quite happy the last time we saw one another.”

I nod, remembering how I could hardly concentrate on our conversation, too fixed on replying to Hagen’s messages. In all honesty, I had no recollection of what we discussed during that session. All I could remember was Hagen’s enthused ranting of how much he hated winter.

His messages had kept me company long after the session had ended, even illuminating my room in the early morning hours.

Now, the small object sat silently beside me, as it had been for three days now.

“Yes, I was.”

“Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“I don’t,” I reply honestly. “But I can tell you that it was my fault.”

“Why do you say that?” She prompts, her pen diligently scratching into her leafed scroll.

“I messed up, again,” the admission causes the weight on my shoulders to double. “I was the one who messed up. Therefore, it’s my fault.”

“It’s very easy to put all the blame on ourselves when we’re sad or upset. Are you sure it was entirely your fault?” Dr.Otu asks, her words carefully measured as always. “You are in a relationship, Nikola- that requires two people.”

“I know, but it was my fault, all of it,” I reply, the words like lead on my tongue. “He was learning to trust me and I messed it up.”

“Purposefully?”

“No.”

“Then I find it hard to believe that this matter was entirely your fault,” she states kindly, her bright orange hair shimmering as she cocks her head to one side. “I know how you love your mate, Nikola, and I know how hard you have tried to correct your faults in order to be a better partner to him. Whatever has occurred, I’m sure you didn’t do anything without his happiness at the forefront of your mind. So, while I’m not trying to absolve you of all personal fault, I do want to encourage you to release some of it.”

I hum so she knows that I’ve heard her words, even if I disagreed with them. Though, I couldn’t help but consider them for a moment.

Dr.Otu was hardly the type to take my side. In fact, she was sometimes unprofessionally candid with her opinions of me, but that was something I liked about her. She talked to me as a person fully capable of understanding reason, rather than a child needing to be handled with special gloves.

My theory was that it was genetic. As an Erlid, a wind spirit, she had an affinity to help the earth’s creatures move down their paths, like the encouraging push of a gentle breeze.

“You keep staring at your phone,” she states, bringing my mind back to her. “Is your linker no longer willing to speak with you?”

“I believe he is,” I reply, forcing my gaze away from the mocking device. “I just haven’t reached out, and neither has he.”

“Why haven’t you reached out?” She asks, sounding solely curious now. “You’ve always expressed having no issue with being the first to make moves between the two of you.”

“It feels wrong,” I reply, fingers moving faster. “It’s not the same, so pretending otherwise feels… wrong.”

I had typed messages for Hagen on several occasions and let my finger hover over the call icon more than ten times. I’d crafted apologies and honest explanations, promises of devotion and more, but I could never quite manage the strength to send it.

Everything I typed, Hagen already knew, so what difference did it make repeating it?

“I understand you do not want to tell me exactly what happened- I will not pressure you to, but would you explain why you believe it’s not ‘the same’ anymore?”

“Because it isn’t,” I state plainly. “Hagen said things changed, and I agree.”

How could I not after that horrible night? Where everything had gone so terribly, unravelling just beyond my grasp despite my greatest efforts to keep it all together.

That night where I’d had to watch hurt slowly bloom in my mate’s eyes, blotting out all the fresh affection that had only just started to sprout there.

I’d first believed that Hagen had been angry. He’d sounded it from the moment I’d arrived in his room, and so it was what appeared the most in his face, but it wasn’t just anger.

It had been hurt, deep-rooted hurt, that I’d caused. He’d tried to hide it at first, but soon enough, his resolve started to crumble, and then all I could see was the betrayal shattering everything.

That’s all I saw now when I thought of my Hagen- those big brown eyes made slightly wet, brimming with hurt and enraged confusion. Even after, when we’d understood one another, and I’d held him in my arms, the hurt hadn’t faded, so, no. It didn’t feel right to text him or try to talk when I knew how much pain I’d caused.

“He told you things changed?” She asks, her coral eyes squinted with interest.

“I asked him if I ruined things between us, to which he said no. I then asked if things had changed, and he nodded,” I clarify, and for some reason, that spurs her to line her scroll with fresh ink.

“And because of this, you assumed that that was a negative thing?”

My fingers still and so does the part of my mind that had been fraying for four days.

“It could only be a negative thing,” I reply when I find my words again.

“Why do you say that?”

I frown, annoyed to find myself weaselled into a corner where I’d have to say more than I wished. Of course, I didn’t have to, but we were here now, and these sessions wouldn’t be very effective if I avoided every topic that made my heart clamp upon itself punishingly.

“Hagen and I were the best we’ve ever been,” I reply, breath faltering slightly despite my greatest efforts to control it. “For five weeks, I spoke to him daily, I saw him almost as much, and when I did, he didn’t wish I would leave the entire time. I scented him, and he did the same to me. We were close- closer than we’ve ever been, and now-” my throat clogs, making it almost a minute before I can finish. “Now, we haven’t spoken in three days, and I do not think he wants to see me again.”

That was putting it kindly. We’d be entering the new year in a number of days now, and soon after, Hagen would be returning to his beloved human city. Before, I could’ve placated myself with the assurance that we’d see each other often, but now, only Goddess knew when we’d see one another again or what it would be like.

Nodding, Dr.Otu lets my words permeate the air before she shares her own opinion to clear it.

“I imagine it’s been quite hard for you to shift back to a place where there’s a distance between the two of you, but as you’ve shared, your mate doesn’t believe that things are ruined between you. That leads me to believe that all those things you treasured are still within your reach, Nikola.”

I shake my head while my fingers speed up their rhythm, “If it were in my reach, I’d have him.”

“You speak as if you’ve lost him, Nikola, but you haven’t,” she states, no longer asking. “Things have changed, yes, but that does not automatically promise negativity. Change can be quite a positive thing. Change promises progress, even if there are a few bumps along the way.”

Staring at her, I try to uncover how she’d developed such a positive outlook on life. As a pessimist, it was unfathomable.

“In your own time, why don’t you try to picture what positive changes might follow, hm?” When I scoff, she smiles gently, “You don’t have to share them with me, but challenge yourself to think of three possible positives in the long term.”

“And in the meantime?” I question, wondering if the homework meant I would soon be able to vacate the premises.

“In the meantime, how long do you plan to give your mate space?”

I suppose we weren’t done just yet.

I shrug. Right now, I was sated because of the hug we’d shared before we’d eventually pulled apart, but I didn’t doubt that I’d eventually crack and approach Hagen at some point, even if the result was horrific.

Still, I was in no particular rush at the moment. When I’d left him that night, he’d seemed so tired, which was somehow worse than all his initial anger.

Hagen was usually so chaotically alive; stumbling over his feet and saying just about anything that came to mind. To see him so drained, as if I’d sucked all that very light from him, wasn’t something I was eager to see again.

“You’ve told me in the past that Hagen doesn’t do well with space,” Dr.Otu reminds, like the breathing catalogue she was. “That he uses it to pull himself even further away from you. Do you still believe that?”

I falter in constructing a response to that.

Hagen didn’t do well with space; at least, he hadn’t in the past. My first instinct was to assume it would be the same, but after what happened with my last assumption, I quieted that response.

“I don’t know,” I reply calmly, only to scowl when Dr.Otu widens her eyes dramatically. “Don’t do that.”

“What? Am I not allowed to be surprised that you don’t know something about your mate, Nikola?”

“You’re a very unprofessional doctor,” I state, frown deepening, but she only laughs, causing her chair to swing again. I use my magic to still it.

“Yes, as you’ve told me since you were a pup, but I’m still a good one, aren’t I?” She waits patiently until I give a reluctant nod, and then she grins. “Now, is this the first time you’ve doubted yourself when it comes to Hagen?” I nod. “How does it feel?”

“Damaging,” I reply honestly. “I do not like being unsure.”

“I don’t think many enjoy the feeling,” she replies smartly, “but do you have a plan to rectify the situation?”

“Yes,” I always had a plan.

“Have you considered not following that plan?” She asks, making my forehead crinkle with distress like my insides. “I know such a thing seems crazy, but I have a scenario for you.”

I sigh. I hated her scenarios, there were so many variables within them, but I nod anyway.

“I want you to envision that you and your mate are at opposite ends of a field, you’re playing a game, and there’s a ball directly in the centre of the field.”

“I don’t think I’d participate in a game like this,” It sounded like football and though I could watch the sport, I didn’t have any urge to play it.

“Hence why I’d like you to envision it only,” she replies before she leans forward and blows a cooling breathing between us.

A chill spreads over the room, filling every corner before the cloudy air forms itself into a wavering field, with two figures on either side and a circular ball between them.

I knew it was football.

“Now, all your life, you’ve reached this ball before Hagen,” Dr.Otu says while the figure I guessed was supposed to be me ran forward, claiming the small ball before the other could. “You’re a quick, decisive player. You know what you want, and because of that, you know how to make the best plays to achieve your goals.”

I straighten and nod.

“This hasn’t always been a positive thing, however, because you’ve left the other player feeling slated sometimes.”

I watch as the small Hagen turns and walks back to his end of the field, head downcast.

My chest suddenly finds itself struggling for air.

“Now, here you are again, on either side of the field, and you have a new plan to make sure you get that ball again,” she continues, the figures illustrating her words. “Aren’t you curious to know what will happen if you don’t see this plan through?”

Before us, the two figures stay at their post, Hagen’s rushes forward for the ball, then he falters when I don’t do the same. Confused, he staggers and waits, looking upon my purposefully still figure until he carefully creeps forward and gets the ball.

“I see the situation between you and your mate as a wonderful opportunity to see what could happen if you let Hagen decide what happens next,” Dr Otu says, and I spot what looks like a happy celebration from Hagen’s figure before the illusion fades away, leaving the office as it was before.

When my gaze reaches Dr Otu’s, she smiles, “It would be a change of pace, but as we’ve discussed, change can be quite a positive thing.”

══════════════════

Colour splashes across the skies as the miniature explosives burst, spreading the shimmering light in patterns that could only be fuelled by magic. All around, the whistling sound of more fireworks jetting high mixes in with the pleasured shouts and howls of the pack.

I watch it all from the patio steps, my interest mildly greater than on a normal day.

We’d officially entered the new year almost an hour ago, though the pack showed no signs of stopping celebrations any time soon. The festivities stretched across every corner of the packlands, ensuring that all within were part of the celebrations.

As always, Dad, Ma and I were perched at the front of our house, watching it all from afar with steaming cups of hot chocolate in our hands.

It was our tradition. At seven p.m. on the last night of the year, Dad would leave to be a part of the chaos, but somewhere around ten, he’d find his way back home to share the remaining hours of the year with us

By the time he returned, Ma and I would be waiting with cinnamon rolls and hot chocolate. Ma and I were no professionals by any means, but it was the one recipe we hadn’t figured out how to screw up yet, so we stuck to it. And while the rest of the world counted down those last seconds, we did it from our porch, just us.

The fireworks I didn’t care much for- they were terrible for the environment, and they scared Knots, but our tradition… our tradition I loved.

“He’s insane,” Ma says suddenly forcing me to drag my gaze away from the skies to where she lay slouched in Dad’s arms. “Aiden, I mean. I checked to be sure, and he’s actually insane.”

I glance back up at the live exhibition of our former alpha’s insanity within the sky. I could believe it.

“Don’t say that,” Dad scolds while he cocoons himself around Ma, “he just likes fireworks a little too much.”

In my opinion, this attempt at blinding everyone in the pack greatly exceeded ‘a little too much’, but I don’t voice it.

“And you enjoy the show, don’t even try to deny it,” Dad tacks on with a kiss. “I know you look forward to this every year.”

Ma only hums, lifting her chin to allow dad to nuzzle her closer, a small smile on her lips. Heart warm, I look away from the pair and take a sip from my cup while my mind wanders to thoughts of my own mate.

Not for the first time tonight, I ponder how he’d be celebrating the new year. With his family seemed like the obvious choice, but for all I knew, he travelled back to his city to spend it with his friends.

I was disgusted with myself for not knowing, but I’d secured a personal blockade of all things Hagen since my session with Dr.Otu, and so far, I’d managed not to demolish it.

She didn’t realise it, couldn’t because she didn’t know the entire situation, but what she’d said was almost a direct reflection of what Hagen had wanted from me. A chance to make his own decisions, even if it led us down a path I could foresee.

The decision was simple then. I had to let Hagen claim that metaphorical ball. I had to leave it all up to him, at least this once.

It shouldn’t have been as hard a concept to accept as it was. I recognised that, at the very least.

“Alright, I’m calling it,” Ma says as she suddenly pushes to her feet and stretches her limbs out. “I have officially reached my limit. It is time for the first sleep of the year!”

“I think I’ll stay out a little-”

“We’re going to bed,” Ma says, cutting dad off as she pulls him up with her.

Smirking, he wraps his arms around her and pulls her closer, “And to think there was a time I had to beg to be in the same building as you.”

Ignoring her linker, Ma focuses her attention on me, “Coming, trouble?”

I shake my head, frowning just as she does at the strange response.

Usually, I’d already be inside by this time, long since bored of listening to wolves howl, but for some reason, my place on the step was more appealing than my bed currently was.

Are we ill? – Neo asks with genuine concern.

Perhaps.

“I’ll stay here for a little while longer,” I reply and Ma’s expression tightens a little. “I’ll be fine.”

“Alright,” she mumbles reluctantly. “I’ll see you in the morning then, but until then-” she presses a kiss atop my head. “Happy New Year, storm.”

“Happy New Year, Ma,” I reply, pulling her down for a hug that she doesn’t pretend to hate. Dad comes next, all but diving into my arms to steal a hug for himself. I can’t help but laugh gently as he squeezes me, “Happy New Year, Dad.”

“Happy New Year, Nik,” he replies before he too pulls away.

Still smiling, I watch as Dad gathers their plates and Ma their cups before they climb the remaining steps and disappear into the house. When the door shuts gently behind them, I return my attention to the skies, where the stars now twinkled alone.

It seemed they’d run out of the colourful explosives, or maybe they were prepping for another round. Either way, it gave me an opportunity to appreciate the stars and the space between them.

It had been some time since I’d projected myself so far; perhaps I should. Goddess knew the dark neverending stillness of space was the most tranquil place in the universe.

Maybe tomorrow, while the rest of the pack was too busy recovering to need me for anything.

Plan formed, I circle the dregs left within my cup, my thoughts idly pondering a refill when I feel it- him.

My magic catches it first, his unmistakable warmth that turns the frigid winter air into a welcoming summer breeze. It makes my breath catch, making my heart beat flounder and then fall apart altogether when the salty scent of the ocean invades my sense.

Skies forgotten, I search the dark stretches of land ahead with a desperation that almost drives me mad until I spot the lone figure heading up the lonesome path to the house.

With his hands buried in the pockets of his coat, Hagen trudges through the snow towards the house slowly, small puffs of air leaving a wisped trail behind him.

I stand so quickly that I almost splash myself with my hot chocolate, but that’s a secondary thought. It’s inconsequential, unimportant next to him.

Hagen was here. He was actually here and he was coming to me.

There were no other houses in this corner of the pack, and unless he were here to deliver a message for my parents, then he was here for me.

I force myself to breathe while I try to prepare myself for him and what he’d say, but that rushed pursuit stops short when he suddenly stops. My body stills as if my breathing is the deterrent- I avoid it, just in case.

After a few torturous seconds, Hagen starts walking again and I release a heavy sigh of relief. But its not long again before he stops and my body finds itself riddled with panic.

Maybe it was the snow. Perhaps it was slowing him. No, that feeble excuse was just that, feeble. He was contemplating it- coming to me.

I descend the remaining steps quickly, ready to go to him before he can change his mind and turn around, but I find myself immobile at the bottom. This was it; Hagen’s say, going to him now would only take that away when he’d only just gotten ‘the ball’.

I stay in my place. Despite wanting to do the very opposite, despite the panic of losing him that chokes me every time he stops, I stay put, and I wait until, eventually, Hagen stops four paces before me.

With the snow turning the world white around us, Hagen lifts his head and lays those big brown eyes on me.

Oh Goddess.

I breathe slowly while Neo clammers excitedly at having our mate so close, making it that much harder to remain upright with similar emotions rattling inside of me. Somehow, I manage.

Shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, Hagen struggles to hold my gaze as he burrows a little deeper into his coat, his nose bright red. I would’ve said something about it, maybe flicked it to make him huff at me, if not for the unmistakable wall between us.

It wasn’t physical, but it wasn’t mental, either. I could feel it; a new barrier between us that made my skin crawl.

“Hey,” he whispers, his gaze wavering as he looks up at me.

“Hi,” I reply, the single word alone a challenge.

It’d been almost a week now since we’d seen one another, and though I’d managed to keep my distance, this was terrifying in a way I detested.

Hagen had come on his own, which meant that he’d made some sort of decision about us. I wanted to hope it was a good one, but I’d never been plagued by naivety.

“I… um,” his words waver as he shifts again, the perfect of nerves. “I’m sorry to just show up like this.”

“It’s fine,” I reply far too quickly, but the words are already out.

Gnawing on his lip, Hagen looks down at his feet as he mumbles, “I know it’s late, and it’s New Year’s, but I just-” he huffs and forces his head up, “I wanted to talk to you.”

I wonder if Hagen hears the way my heart pounds following that statement. If he does, he doesn’t show it on his face.

“So, can we? Talk?” He asks, expression strangely ladled with worry. “If not, that’s fine. I know this is horrible timing, you guys are probably celebrating, but I thought… I don’t really know. I just thought I’d try and maybe-”

“We can talk,” I reply, cutting off his ramble before it reaches a dangerous precipice. “They went to bed, so it’s just us.”

Blowing out a breath, Hagen relaxes a little as if he thought I’d have said no. I frown, wondering how he could entertain such a silly notion. Even when I feared what he’d say, I treasured his company.

When he only stands there, I step back and gesture to the porch steps, “Is here okay?”

“Y-Yeah,” he manages, scuttling forward. I wait for him to sit before I settle beside him, leaving a fair space between us for his comfort.

For a while, it’s quiet, with neither of us chancing more than a breath. There’s only the soft snowfall and the distant celebrations, but between us, it’s horribly still.

“I’m sorry I haven’t texted,” Hagen blurts out so suddenly he almost startles a sound from me.

When I look at him, I find him staring at his fingers while they twist in his lap.

“It’s alright. I didn’t message you either.”

Hagen glances at me then, but this time, he’s wearing that expression that’s infuriatingly impossible to read. Before I can try, he’s back to staring at his fingers, leaving me to watch him.

He looked well, albeit for the small bags under his eyes and the way he kept twisting his fingers.

Was it too presumptions for me to assume I was the cause of both? Was it wrong to hope that I was?

My own fingers itch to reach over and intertwine them, to squeeze them and keep him warm, but I don’t.

“I didn’t mean not to,” he adds after a moment, “I just needed some time to think about everything.”

I nod in response, not trusting myself to produce a reliable vocal response.

We’re quiet again, painfully so, but I don’t know how to fix it. I knew what I wanted to do- to pull him onto my lap and whisper apologies between kisses upon his neck until everything was as it was, but I left that fantasy where it belonged, within the confines of my mind.

Instead, I remain silent, like him, focused on preserving my outward appearance of calm, and managing to do so quite well until I feel his gaze on me. I know I shouldn’t- I try not to, but eventually, I meet those brown eyes and I break.

“Hagen-”

“I want you to release it,” he blurts out before I can say another word. “Whatever’s blocking the mate awareness in our bond, I want to feel it too.”

I stare at him, turned uncharacteristically speechless, while I watch my mate’s cheeks bloom with colour.

Of all the things I’d expected Hagen to say, that was the very last.

“It’s not fair that you’ve been dealing with everything when this bond is between us both,” he says firmly, his expression set with determination. “I know why you did it, and I do appreciate it, but I don’t think we should avoid it, so I want it gone.”

Still at a loss of what to say or how to say it, I just stare at him. Idly, I wonder if this was truly my mate, but if it weren’t, I wouldn’t be such a big fan of the blush travelling up to his ears.

“And you don’t need to ask; I’m sure about this. I’ve spent every day thinking about it, and it’s what I want, Nikola,” he argues against himself as if my silence was a protest. “I don’t blame you for it either. This is all Goddess, so I’m not going to hold it against you or anything.”

I force myself to speak, mostly because it was unfair to leave my mate to squander when he so clearly needed a helping hand, even if he did look delicious when he squirmed.

“Your classes?” I prompt like a gentle reminder. “You’ll be returning to university shortly, what will happen then?”

Taking a deep breath, Hagen seems to mentally strengthen his barracks, and I do the same.

“I have two options for that. One, we stay here in the pack, and we live together until it goes away. I know I’m not passing this year, so I don’t mind dropping out or taking some sort of absence-”

“No,” I state firmly. I didn’t think Hagen had a future in geology, but I didn’t want him to give up his pursuit of education because of me. “You’re not dropping out.”

“Well, that was only option one. Option two-” he pauses, squirming in his place as he focuses on his hands again. “Option two is….” I frown, unable to conjure any alternative until he says, “y-you come with me.”

I didn’t know how it happened or when exactly it occurred, but at some point, I’d seemed to have died and gone to the plains.

“I come with you?” I repeat, needing him to correct my misunderstanding before I latched onto it. But instead of denying it, Hagen nods.

“It’s up to you, but my place is big enough for the both of us,” Hagen states carefully. “It’s a studio, so the whole ‘must being close at all times’ thing will work out.”

With his eyes still locked pointedly on his hands, he doesn’t see what he’s doing to me.

“Hagen-”

“For my classes, you can come with, but well, you already know they’re boring, so maybe I just drop out for the semester after all.”

“Hagen.”

“Or we can make that an exception or something? Me going to class is when you use your magic, but only then!”

“Hagen.”

“I’ll quit my job. It sucks anyway, a-and I’ve saved enough, so we won’t have to worry about that. Plus you’re a warlock, so you can make money, right? And as for my friends, I mean we do share a bond, so we can figure it out. I-”

Taking his chin in my hand, I force my linker to look at me, effectively cutting off his rant the second our eyes lock.

“Hagen,” I groan, making his breath hitch. “You want me to come with you?” I ask very carefully, my eyes searching his imploringly.

With the rest of his body turned to stone, Hagen nods as much as he can within my grasp.

“To live with you?” I question, my voice tightening as blood rushes through my ears.

He swallows, his throat bobbing, “Until it fades.”

Like that mattered. This was enough. This was more than enough.

To live with Hagen was to wake in Hagen’s space, to bask in his scent, to see him day in and day out. To have him so close I was the first person he saw when he woke and the last before he slept.

My grip on his chin tightens, and Hagen sways forward as if following an invisible thread wrapped around my fist.

“We’ll be sharing a bed,” I whisper like a question but it’s a warning.

“I have a couch,” Hagen states firmly, but that’s just a useless piece of information that only serves to make me smile. We’d be sharing a bed.

“If we do this, I have rules, though,” Hagen mumbles as his eyes search mine seriously.

I pass my thumb across his chin, “I love rules.”

Cheeks burning fiercely, Hagen pulls himself back, taking away his soft skin, and I let him. He’d already given me so very much.

“Well, we’ll see how you like mine,” he grumbles defiantly, his chin lifting as he quickly erects that wall back between us. It doesn’t trouble me so deeply anymore now that I know how to get through it.

Besides, I had rules of my own.

“I suppose we will,” I reply while I cage the smile that wanted to break free. “But I have a question.”

Hagen pauses, that unreasonable fear returning to his gaze, “What?”

“Are you sure you want to do this, Hagen?”

He sags almost instantly, “I already told you-”

“I want to be sure,” I reply, cutting in. “I want you to be sure because once this happens, Hagen….”

Heart hammering alongside mine, Hagen looks at me with those beautiful eyes that are a personal test of my resolve.

“Once this happens, what?” He asks, frowning just a little.

“Hagen, you know what happened when we scented one another,” I mutter, my breath staggering as my gaze falls to his neck. “Are you ready for what will happen when we’re living together?”

Hagen’s frown dissolves in an instant as understanding overcomes him. It turns his face beet red as he snatches his gaze away, but not before glaring at me.

“Nothing is going to happen,” he sputters, hiding himself in his coat as best as he can. “We won’t do anything but-” he stops himself, but it’s too late.

“But?” I prompt, waiting.

“But wait for the stupid awareness to pass,” he declares instead of what we both knew to be the truth. Jumping to his feet, he keeps his gaze on everything in the world but me, “We can talk about it more later. I’ve got to get back.”

“That’s fine,” I reply, biting back my smile as I stand to my feet as well. “But Hagen.”

“What?” He snaps like an anxious puppy just waiting to run away.

Lowering myself enough to meet his gaze, I share my smile with him before I whisper, “Happy New Year.”

Hagen blinks once and then again before his features soften, and he wavers in his place. “Happy new year, Nikola,” he replies with a small secret smile of his own. “But I really have to go.”

I nod, stepping back and allowing him to pass.

Hagen watches me for a moment longer before he shuffles by and all but runs off. He glances back once but only the once, when he finds me still watching him.

I watch him go until he disappears completely, leaving me with a full heart and a new interest in the coming year.

As I head inside, I mentally note the first positive change for Dr.Otu.

He’d come to me.

——————————

Nikola makes my body react in shameful, shameful ways. When he starts fucking Hagen, prepare for more spelling errors, because I will NOT be able to hold it together.

Thoughts?????

Thoughts on Dr.Otu?? The therapy session??? Hagen’s surprise visit and request????

This chapter was honestly nothing like I’d envisioned. I thought Hagen would be more abrasive and distant, but it just didn’t feel right, especially with how the last chapter ended, so here we are.

THEY’RE MOVING IN AHHHHH!!!!

Exciting, but then again, I wonder what happens for them not to still live together in the future, hehehehe

Sorry this update took so long, you all know I’m in university and that’s my priority. I’m in my final year so I really want to finish my degree strong, so that means sometimes updates will take longer than any of us would like.

Thank you for being patient during those times, it is always appreciated.

If you enjoyed this chapter, please leave a comment or vote, and if you’re on Patreon, don’t forget voting ends tomorrow!!!

Until next time,
Byeeeeeeeeee Humansssssssss