THIS IS 2/2 OF A DOUBLE UPDATE SO MAKE SURE YOU’VE READ CHAPTER 32 FIRST!

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Hagen’s POV

I open my eyes and know in an instant that I got shit-faced last night. That, and I had most likely thrown up at some point near the end which, A+ Past Hagen— you saved me from a brutal hangover.

With everything both horribly close and a world away, I glance around what little I can see and instantly frown at the sight of my bedroom.

Goddess, just how shit-faced had I been to end up here?

Very —Zyair answers, pointedly raising his voice to trigger a pounding within my skull.The next time you pick up the bottle, I swear to my bright and beautiful Goddess, I will strip naked and run down the streets.

No need to pull out the nuclear —I groan as I try to stretch only to find myself immobile because apparently, my limbs were still waking up.I haven’t been that bad.

You…—He cuts himself off with a huff.You’ve been on a rampage, but thankfully I suspect that will be put to an end soon.

I frown, way too tired to decipher that one and not at all inclined to try, but then something shifts behind me, and the mystery is unravelled for me.

Body perfectly still, I tilt my head over my shoulder until my eyes catch dark curls, long lashes over closed eyes and a familiar face I wanted to rip from existence. My heart stops, jerks and then beats faster as if for him, but the immediate anger that rises squashes that fluttering feeling before I have to.

I shove from his embrace because I wasn’t just sleepy, he was the one holding me down like some weighted blanket. He startles, jerking upright, but sleepiness makes him slow, too slow to react when I twist and shove him from my bed. I scramble to the other side of it, feeling nauseous for an entirely new reason as Nikola slowly stands and pushes his fallen hair out of his face.

Grey, impassive, if slightly annoyed eyes meet mine, “I guess you’re sober now.”

“What the fuck are you doing?!” I bark as I dart my gaze between him and the bed. “What the fuck are you doing in my home?”

“You don’t remember last night?” He asks, frowning slightly.

I frown as well, except with effort as I try to recall what happened, but things had been a blur even before the guys had come. “No, but I know I definitely didn’t invite you into my place or my bed.”

“You were in a club,” he says with distaste as if the word alone offended him. “You were very drunk and I took you home.”

“How did you know I was there?”

“What?” He asks, and it almost sounds like genuine confusion.

I take a step back, “How did you know I was there?”

Nikola frowns, confused by the way my voice trembles to speak the words. My heart pounds, rattling my eardrums as I dare a glance at the mirror against the wall.

“Were you watching me?” Speaking the words taste like poison, and even though my stomach is empty, I feel like I’m about to throw up again.

Nikola’s face falls all at once. “No.” He says it sternly like a vow, and takes a step forward. I take two back and his gaze becomes even more miserable. “I was not watching you, Hagen.”

“Then how did you know,” I ask, shout really, but I can’t help it. My head hurts and I can barely breathe as familiar panic rises within me.

“I came here to see you, and you were leaving with Max and Jaspar,” he replies and I frown trying to recall. “I thought I’d wait for you to return, but the hours kept passing and you didn’t, so I thought it best to go to you.”

He’s lying.

All he does is lie.

He’s lying.

Maybe he’s not —Zyair tries and I push him away quickly, in no mood to entertain his play of Devil’s Advocate.

“And you brought me here and climbed into bed with me,” I snap, rage joining the panic and making my words serrated. “Well, you got what you wanted. Now, I want you out of my fucking home.”

“I already told you I’m not leaving you, Hagen,” he repeats, his voice suddenly as monotone and plain as his expression.

My fingers coil at my sides as I resist the urge to scream. My throat aches to just let it all out, at him, but I wasn’t a child and I would not give Nikola the pleasure of seeing what he’d reduced me to.

I’d hoped and prayed that whatever affection I held for Nikola would be stamped out so that I could break the bond between us like I yearned to. But the days soon turned into weeks and now a month, and even with him standing right in front of me, an infuriating portrait of indifference, I can’t get the words out.

I’m breaking our bond.

Nikola Amorenia, I’m breaking our bond.

Simple words. They were such simple words because Goddess had been kind and made them so, and yet, they refused to be spoken.

Nikola sucks in a deep breath as he takes another step forward, “I know you’re upset—”

“I’m more than just upset,” I correct, taking one back.

“But I know we can find something that works for the both of us,” he continues with another step, this one taking him closer to the bottom of the bed.

I laugh, have to if only not to scream— I was not doing that. ”Nothingis going to work for the both of us. Only for you, and there is no ‘us’. I want nothing to do with you.”

“Hagen,” he starts as I back away, as far as I can until the backs of my knees meet my nightstand. His expression tightens as his gaze drops and then he finally stops. “I do not want you to be afraid of me.”

“Too late for that.” Except it’s not the truth. I wasn’t afraid of Nikola— probably should’ve been, but I wasn’t. His actions though, I was plenty scared of what he was prepared to do to get what he wanted.

Nikola’s gaze turns mournful but I don’t fall for it. I’d done more than enough of that over the last few months and I was over it.

“I want you to get out,” I bite out as I force myself to straighten. “I deserve to have my own fucking space without you. You can’t do this.” Except he can, he is and he will.

It’s defeating and heartbreaking, knowing that he’d waited until I was attached or maybe dependent— who fucking knew. I just couldn’t let him go, he’d seen to that.

“We can not stay like this forever,” Nikola tries again, his voice soft like it’d been when he’d asked me to scent mark him, only now, it sounded coaxing too. I close my eyes and shake my head, trying to rid him like a nightmare, but Nikola wasn’t only in my mind. “We’re meant to be together, Hagen. We wouldn’t be mates if we weren’t.”

And wasn’t that just the worst part of all this. We weremeantto be together.

Goddess made Nikola and me and thought ‘these two work perfectly. Equal, balanced. They fill the spaces and flaws in the other. They can love each other more than any other. They are the best thing for each other’.

Nikola was my mate, my other half, the best thing for me even when he’d proven, over and over, to be the very worse, even when he acted the best.

Either Goddess hated me or I was blind to my own flaws— to the way I tore Nikola down, just like he did me. I tried to see it, I really did, but nothing I’d ever done to Nik came close to all the pain he caused me. Both past and present.

“Hagen,” he tries again and even with my eyes closed, I can tell he’s on my side of the bed. Close, too fucking close.

I could rush him, try to knock him down and run, or jump over the bed, but even if I got away, he’d be right there, wherever I went. He’d always be there, close and unrelenting, because he would never let me go; he’d said it himself in more ways than one.

I’m breathing short now and the world is beginning to blur. My throat clogs and there’s no longer any option to scream.

Zyair!— I shout or cry, or maybe I finally manage to scream. Either way, the moment I call his name and fall back, Zyair rises to the surface, taking over before I have to face him again.

————

Zyair’s POV

I come to the forefront just as spices invade my space, overwhelming my senses with the pleasurable scent of my mate that I could just drown in forever, but now wasn’t the time for such things.

“Hagen,” Nikola whispers desperately, and my heart keens for him even though I know it shouldn’t. I swat the feelings away, and his hand too when it reaches for me.

“Uh uh, Zyair,” I correct, lifting my chin and folding my arms over my chest. “Hagen does not want to speak with you.”

Nikola’s shoulders fall with his expression, and he ducks his head like a kicked puppy as he draws his hand back to his side. “I see,” he whispers under his breath.

“You have hurt him very deeply, Nikola,” I tell him, which I know is like kicking a puppy but damn it, maybe some puppies deserved to be kicked! “And me, as well.” I whisper, “I was on your side.”

His grey eyes lift quickly, and they’re apologetic. “I didn’t do this on purpose. I thought I was fine.”

“Did you really?” I ask, eyeing him closely. “Did you truly think you were fine with how things were?”

“Yes,” he replies quickly, but then he frowns. “At first, at least. I think I was too desperate at any chance to be with him to notice at first.”

I nod, recalling with ease the adorable bundle of nerves he’d been on the night of their first date. It had been so magical and perfect, but beyond all the glimmer, I remembered a young wolf with only the purest intent of pleasing their mate.

By Goddess’ Love, he’d been so close too!

“And now, with things as they are, you really won’t give up,” I breathe, not needing him to confirm it. Nikola’s eyes meet mine and I see what I’d always known— that a thousand lifetimes could pass, and Nikola would still wait and ache for Hagen. “Yes, well I think it’s important we make two things clear right now.”

I take a step forward, not at all afraid to be in his space.

“One, Hagen might not be able to say the words, but I can,” I tell him, and I almost smile as he steps back, his eyes suddenly very wide and very terrified.

Zyair —Hagen breathes, clasping desperately for me.I would never ask for you to do that! This is your bond too!

You do not need to ask. I would do this for you. I would do it for you now if you wished it.

Hagen remains silent, so I carry on with Nikola who continues to stare dumbfounded at me.“Though I do not want to, I could break the bond between Neo and I, and that would break yours as well. So do not think you are in the clear to do as you please because you are not.”

“I—”

“Shush, I do not care,” I say with a raised hand. “Two, you will establish some kind of base or structure with Hagen so that he can feel safe. It is not right— no, it is notfairfor you to have so much power over where this bond goes. You will agree on something between you two, and if you violate that, I will destroy this bond faster than you have the chance to hold it together.”

Nikola stares at me as if I might be the devil, and for a moment, I feel as spiteful as one because even though I was fond of Nikola, truly, he was still impossibly selfish and this time, it had hurt Hagen beyond measure because this time, Hagen loved him deeply.

“Do you understand?” I ask with a raised brow. Somehow, Nikola finds the strength to nod and I smile. “Wonderful. Now, I would like to speak to Neo.”

Nikola frowns, this time, looking wary, “I do not think that is a good idea.”

“I do not think I care what you think,” I reply, as I look at him, through him really. “I want to meet you.”

Nikola’s frown deepens and his lips part to argue, but then his eyes glow, something shifts, and I know Neo wants to come out. Good, I’d been waiting for way too long to play. Gritting his teeth, Nikola tries to fight his wolf, but Neo was strong— he wouldn’t be my mate if he wasn’t— so it’s not long before he gets the best of Nikola.

I see the moment he does. His eyes become a shade darker, heavier with the mark of a wolf grown. Then, he straightens, shoulders going back and he looks impossibly regal in this moment, larger than Nikola somehow, and I almost shudder in the face of it.

“Zyair,” he greets, his sharp gaze cutting over me.

“Neo,” I reply, quietly squeezing my folded arms where my hands rest over flesh.

I’d imagined our first meeting a million different times, but all had ended in one way in my dreams— with me bent over and Neo mounting me as he should. It might be horribly uncivilised but I was a wolf, and though playing human was fun, I could not help my desires.

Only now, there was a world of mistrust amongst us all, and even Neo, stood here in all his glory, couldn’t stop me from being cautious.

“You wanted to speak with me,” he starts, shifting to one side and I notice with the gulp that follows, that he’s nervous.

It was clear that Hagen loathed Nikola now, but as for what I felt for Neo, well he must’ve had no clue. Poor thing.

“Yes, did you know?” I ask quickly. “I suspect you did, but sometimes, one half hides things from another, so….”

“I knew,” Neo replies, dashing away what little of my hopes remained.

I nod, keeping my gaze on his, “I see. That is… disappointing.” I scratch mounting from my mind, or rather, the sadness that fills me does.

“It is hard to willingly do something that would put space between us,” he says imploringly as he steps forward. “We want you both, very very much. We have for a long time.”

“Hmm,” I look him up and down. “So we should expect more lies?”

“No,” Neo says quickly, stepping close. “We won’t lie. There’s nothing to lie about now, it’s all in the open.”

“But when something new arises and it suits you both, you’d lie for your own needs,” I press looking up at him. “Even if it would put space between us?”

Neo is quiet as he breathes low, close enough now that his warmth wafts off of him. My nails dig into my skin, and that is the only thing that stops me from reaching for him.

“You are angry,” he states with a sigh.

“I wonder what gave that away,” I reply with a frown.

Neo steps back and I’m almost mournful for it. “I’d hoped that maybe we-…” he stops and shakes his head. “This affects us too.”

“You were involved, so yes, it does,” I state unflinchingly. “I may be more open to the bond than Hagen, but I loathe liars and manipulators.” Neo winces, his head falling. “You will have to work just as hard as Nikola to win my favour again.”

“I will,” he says this quickly, and valiantly, like a knight off to battle.

I have to quiet my near squeal of delight, “You better, because I grow angrier the longer I have to wait to be happy with you again.”

Neo frowns deeply, his dark brows arching close, and I decide to take pity upon him. I unfold my arms and step close until I’m pressed right against him. He inhales deeply, shuddering as I wrap my arms around his neck and smile up at him.

“You see, I was ready for you, Neo,” I whisper, tracing a finger along his nape. “I was ready for you to mount me and claim me however you wished… however you would’ve liked. It could have been every day, every second we ever had together. You would only have to call and I would’ve opened to you.”

Neo’s nostrils flare and his eyes glow as his arousal rises, filling the air and my senses until I’m shivering under it. Goddess, he hadn’t even touched me yet, and I felt like I might bust.

“But now, I am angry with you, and I must wait for you to earn the right to have me,” I finish with a sigh as I unwind from him and take a step back. “So you can understand why I would grow angrier the longer I have to wait, right?”

Neo blinks several times and shakes his head before he gives up on trying to say something suitable and simply laughs. It’s a twisted sound that matches the fire in his eyes. He looks now like the very warrior I know he can be, and as he smiles, I thank Goddess for giving him all to me.

“Yes, I can understand,” he breathes harshly as his gaze travels down my neck to where my shirt remains open. He swallows as his canines drop. “I’m sorry to make you wait.”

“As you should be,” I reply, raising my chin and he laughs again, the sound so sweet I can’t help but smile just a little.

Neo raises a hand to mine, “May I?” I frown, but nod just enough for my wolf in shining armour to take my hand. He lifts it gently in his, raising it to his lips, “I’ll work hard for your forgiveness, Zyair.” He kisses me softly, letting his canines scrape against my skin until I shudder and then he nips it gently, “And then, I will make up for our lost time.”

Goddess! Somebody fucking sedate me!

By the strength of Goddess herself, I stop myself from dropping my pants and telling him to get it over with, and nod stiffly instead. Neo releases my hand and I draw it back casually, as if I wasn’t suddenly in the midst of a self-inflicted heat.

“Good,” I clear my throat, “I’m looking forward to it.”

Neo smiles like the devil himself, “So am I.”

————-

I loved Zyair before but nowwww??????????? OBSESSED!!!

Thoughts?????????

Thoughts on Nikola and Hagen’s interaction??? On Zyair and Neo’s first interaction?????

I really did want some smut for them but it felt wrong to do that when Hagen was so uncomfortable with the bond, and like Neo said, he’s upset too at the moment, but who knows how long that will last.

I know I knowwww a lot of you feel like Hagen always plays the victim which makes Nikola, but where they currently are in their relationship, that’s how things will be. But Hagen is not innocent and this book will not end without that being shown!

I’m very interested in hearing all you guys have to say about these chapters!!! I had a bit of writer’s block getting here, but I’m happy with it and I hope you guys are too.

ALSO! FOR FUTURE REFERENCE! If you don’t see me update, try to remember I may be working on this, a double update, or maybe just busy with work, or facing writer’s block!

I know it’s annoying having to wait for updates, but for right now, I’m really doing the best I can!

Anyways, that’s it for now!

Until next time,
Byeeeeeee Humanssssssss