Hagen’s P.O.V

This was not how I imagined tonight going. Not even close.

When I’d mustered up the courage to ask my dad to invite the Amorenias for dinner, I’d done so thinking everyone else would be abuffer between Nik, me, and whatever the fuck came over us when we were alone. But the reality was, I craved being around Nikola so much now I physically couldn’t stay away.

I’d tried to bury my head in the sand about it before, but there was no denying the way I reacted to Nikola now, or how much I liked those reactions.

Looking back, it hadn’t just been naive to believe that I’d be able to spend the entire night only speaking to him in small amounts, and amongst our families, pretending to be model compadres. It had been straight-up delusional because he hadn’t even been here for ten minutes, and here we were, alone and closer than ever.

“I can mask it.”

I blink past my thoughts to focus on Nikola who was still standing only inches from me, his left hand gripping my right and his other on my hip.

I thought I’d hate it– holding hands, having him hold me– that I’d want to pull away and run, but it was the opposite. If anything, his touch was quickly evolving into yet another thing about Nikola that I was becoming addicted to.

“Hagen.”

“Sorry, what?” I try to focus, but it’s hard with the everpresent thrum of pleasure that had accosted me from the moment Nik had asked me if I liked him scenting me.

Truth was, I hadn’t just liked it– I desperately wanted him to do it again.

“I can mask our scents,” he explains with a now slightly strained voice. “I can make it so that when we return, we won’t smell any different from when we left.”

Right. We were going back to have dinner with our families and it would be better if nothing we did in here showed out there. Though we hadn’t done anything, at least nothing like last time. There were traces of Nikola on me now, and although it wasn’t strong, I knew my family wouldn’t miss it, even if they all lost their noses by some miracle.

Nikola’s proposal was probably the smart thing to do, and it was definitely something I would’ve pounced on a few weeks ago, but now the suggestion only made my insides churn uncomfortably.

“No,” I reply, clearing my throat. “It’s fine. They all saw us leave together, so it doesn’t matter.”

Grey eyes narrow on me, “Are you sure? I won’t be offended, Hagen. I only want you to be comfortable.”

Zyair swoons, and fuck, I’m right there with him.

Maybe I’d been too concerned with his faults at the start to notice, but now it was impossible to miss how earnest Nikola was when he spoke. He had always been honest and straightforward, but when combined with his confidence and undeniable concern for my feelings, I found myself forgetting my own name.

“I mean it, Hagen,” Nikola continues, mistaking my silence for indecision. “If you wish it, I will do it.”

A shitton of butterflies take flight inside of me, fluttering about until my blood has nowhere to go but up and into my face. I didn’t get butterflies, at least never with Nikola, but I’d crushed on enough girls to know the feeling, and fuck— they were swarming for him right now.

I clear my throat again and force myself to nod fervently, “I’m sure. Don’t even worry about it. We should just get back now. We’ve been here for a while and hungry wolves don’t understand patience.”

Nikola chuckles a little, “Once you’re sure.”

“I am,” I promise. “We didn’t even—” I swallow, flashes of that night on the back porch crossing my mind. “It wasn’t like last time.”

Gaze flitting down to my neck, Nikola frowns deeply as he mutters, “No… it was not.”

Ask him to do it again! – Zyair demands, practically panting as he paces restlessly. I need you to ask him right now Hagen, or I swear to Goddess, I’ll take over and do it myself.

Relax, Zyair! I will! – I snap back. Just give me a second to figure out how.

What’s there to figure out?!?! ‘Hey Nik, I want your scent all over me again– can you pencil me in whenever you’re free? Preferably as soon as fucking possible’!

I was not saying that, because while Zyair had no sort of shame despite it being a free commodity, I did.

I knew from the moment Nikola’s scent had invaded my system that I wanted it again. It was a need that I’d been able to endure over the past week while those traces of leather still lingered. But they were gone now, and I needed it again.

It wasn’t just how fucking amazing it had felt in the moment– that pleasure was like nothing I’d ever felt before, only rival to the calm that came with it after.

For the first time ever, I woke up feeling like there wasn’t a single problem in my little world. I had things to do, but studying for my exams after Christmas vacation was somehow less daunting, and when I went to sleep, I was out in seconds flat.

Carrying Nikola’s scent was like being wrapped in a warm blanket in a snowstorm, and having it slip away like sand through my fingers was torture.

‘When you’re ready, and only when you’re ready, I’d like to do it again.’

I wanted it, and I could have it again… all I had to do was ask.

“Um, Nik?” When I meet his gaze, Nikola raises a single brow, his expression unreadable. “We can’t here, obviously, but maybe… after dinner— maybe later tonight we could…”

Holy fuck, was I actually doing this? Was I going to ask Nikola to meet later so we could scent one another again?!

Last time, I’d ended up making sounds I wasn’t proud of, and Nikola had disappeared right after, barely managing to get himself to leave. It seemed like every time we met, we inched a little further together, so what if tonight, we ended up… kissing.

My heart lurches at the thought that evokes a mixture of curiosity and fear.

I had no fucking clue if I could kiss Nikola, if I was ready for it or even wanted it.

When I thought about it, he was a guy for starters, plus one that was so much younger than me, and we shared so much history— it was too much. But when I didn’t think… when we were like this, and I just let myself feel– he was my smart, funny at times, worryingly competitive mate, who knew exactly how to make my knees buckle.

Thinking about kissing Nikola scared the shit out of me, but it also sent a wave of longing all the way down to my soul that I couldn’t deny. I knew I couldn’t kiss him – to initiate it was terrifying – but if he kissed me…

I didn’t know what I’d do if Nikola tried to kiss me.

“Meet?” I manage, chest bound into tight knots.“We could meet a-and….”

Fuck, the world would sooner end before I managed to get it all out.

Thankfully, Nikola saves me before I can drown, but when his lips stretch into a playful smirk, I think maybe this isn’t a rescue.

Lifting his hand from my hip to my chin, Nikola tilts my head up further and rubs his thumb along the line of my jaw. His dark, knowing eyes follow his own movement carefully as if he could see the ripple of sparks his touch sends through me.

“We can meet and scent one another,” he finishes for me, his gaze flicking back up to mine. “We can do it properly, as we did before. Is that what you are trying to ask me, Hagen?”

I bite my lip to stifle any more embarrassing sounds, but free it immediately when Nikola’s gaze drops and hardens.

“I don’t know. Is that something you’d want?” I counter, trying to get a hold of the situation before I make a fool of myself.

“You already know the answer to that question,” Nikola replies smoothly. Lips curving into a smile, he drags his gaze down my body, setting it aflame, “I want only my scent on you, Hagen. And I want it there as much as you will allow.”

I’m pretty sure a part of my brain shut down. It’s obviously a vital part too, because without it, I end up nodding like a bobblehead.

“Okay,” I say when it finally comes online again. “After.”

“After,” Nikola confirms as he lets the hand under my chin drop before he takes a measured step back.

A piece of me rips horribly, tearing into two when he eases his fingers from mine, and I know it’s the same for him by the lock in his jaw when he does. But neither of us comments on the loss as Nikola heads for the door, opening it for me.

“Shall we?” Nikola asks, his grey eyes glowing for a moment.

The sooner we returned, the sooner dinner would end, and then we could be alone again.

Nikola smiles once more, no doubt having the very same thought as me.

══════════════════

I’d been prepared for hooting and hollering, maybe even banners strung up with some combination of Nikola and I’s names, and the eggnog station entirely restocked with rum, but surprisingly… we received none of the above.

When Nik and I walked into the living room, everyone paused, looked at us knowingly and then carried on as they were.

For a second, I was sure I had entered an alternate dimension, but I don’t comment on it— I wasn’t willing to push my luck with this nice version of my family, and it was definitely luck because when I glanced at my old man, he looked purple from the effort of keeping his comments inside.

I didn’t know which one of them had convinced the rest to remain quiet, but I was eternally in their debt.

“Alright, I think we’ve waited long enough,” Dad announces with a clap of his hands. “Time to eat.”

A chorus of happy groans sounds as everyone starts moving towards the dining room, and I hurry to do the same, already drooling. I hadn’t eaten since lunch in preparation for the absolute feast I knew was being prepared for tonight, and I was more than eager to make up for lost time.

In the dining room, I almost lose my footing as the scent of a good roast, pumpkin soup and fuck— was that cranberry ham— fill my nostrils, teasing me to madness.

“Come on,” Jason says as he grabs my elbow and leads me to our seats. “You have to make it to the table to actually eat the food.”

I roll my eyes, but frown when instead of heading for the opposite side of the table, Jayson slides into a chair right of me. Usually, no matter the occasion, Levi and Jayson sat opposite Josey and me so we could all talk, but this time, they were both on my right, leaving the seats in front of me empty.

My mouth opens, but I forget the question entirely as I watch Aunty K slip into one chair and Uncle Apollos in another, leaving the one between them empty… the one directly opposite of me.

Nikola’s large hands settle over the spine of the chair, and when our gazes meet, his is questioning.

‘Is this alright?’ — I hear it loud enough even without him uttering a word and give him a little nod. It was fine; it didn’t matter that I now forgot about my food entirely and my heart was giving Travis Baker a run for his money. Clearly, Nikola hadn’t orchestrated this, and I wasn’t going to make him move just because I was insanely aware of his presence now.

I nod again and slip into my own seat, and a moment later, he does the same.

When our eyes meet again over the stretch of the table mounted with containers of steaming food, my throat grows tight and I shift in my seat. Nikola’s gaze was potent. It felt like a caress, and now that I knew what his fingers felt like… on my hips, my chin… I wanted it all the more.

Thankfully, a hand tugs me by my elbow, returning me to the table full of conversations instead of that small pocket world where there was just Nik and me.

I glance up at Josey as she pins me with wide brown eyes, the hue a perfect mirror of my own.

“What?” I ask with a quick glance around in case I missed something, but I was pretty sure I hadn’t. Most of us were seated while my brothers turned parents continued to settle their kids in their places.

“What?” she mocks, blinking several times before she switches to the link. What? As if you haven’t spent the whole night staring at Nikola and didn’t just sneak off with him.

The heat that invades my cheeks is scolding, and my eyes bulge much like hers. I was sure I’d been careful tonight with how often my gaze had landed on my mate, but apparently not.

That bad? — I ask, terrified of the answer.

Josey shakes her head quickly as she leans in a little closer — Not bad. Just very obvious. You look at him like a love-sick puppy.

Kill. Me. Now.

I didn’t know you guys were so… — she glances at him — close.

I risk my own glance at Nikola, happy to find him in his own conversation with his dad before I reply — We’re… figuring things out.

Josey stays quiet as she blinks at me, but this time, her eyes don’t hold so much shock, but something softer. Then she smiles and eases back, not adding another word. I didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

“Okay, sixteen, seventeen…” the old man says with a big smile, “all shitbags have been accounted for, the Amorenias included. Time for a word of thanks, and then we’ll dig in.”

Once upon a time, our family’s tradition of sharing what we were grateful for would take two minutes tops, but now, with the colony we were building, it was a mini-movie, though I loved it all the same.

I loved the way the kids’ answers were almost identical to mine when I was their age. They were grateful for food and Santa, and their family. It was truly heartwarming stuff, just like how Peter’s was being home again with all of us. By the time we had all said our thanks, there were full smiles all around, even from Aunty Kat, who’d said she was grateful to know all of us.

I guess Christmas really was a magical time after all.

Once the trays and eating dishes start getting passed around, graces are forgotten as the savages make themselves known, myself included. But I refused to feel ashamed about it. It was survival of the fittest here; you either moved fast or you starved— the little ones would learn just as I did.

You didn’t have to learn shit — Zyair interjects with a tone of obvious disgust. You’ve always been the savage.

I take after my wolf in that aspect — I retort before I happily rip a chunk from my chicken leg and chew to drown Zyair out.

Preoccupied with eating, I don’t pay much attention to the conversations that fill the room until my old man suddenly shouts, “Nikola!”

My mouth clamps, body stiffening to stone as I look up to Nikola who stills as well from where he’d been carefully cutting off a piece of his slice of ham. His gaze flicks to me for a split second before he casts it to the other end of the table where Pops sits with his black eyes gleaming.

“I sent you a birthday gift, but I haven’t seen you in a while,” he says, sounding pretty normal for now, but my eyes were purposefully narrowed on him.

“I’m sorry?” Nikola replies but it’s more of a question, which made sense cause as far as I knew, it wasn’t as if he made a habit of paying visits to my old man. “I did send a note of thanks.”

“What did he get you?” Damon asks from his seat beside Dad.

“A grimoire,” Nikola replies plainly, but I could tell he liked the present. “One that belonged to a fifth-generation Vorgium.”

“How on earth did you get your hands on that?” Levi asks, making Pops wrinkle his nose from obvious offence.

“I know a guy who knows a guy,” he answers waving him off. “I’m not revealing my sources, so let it go, beggar. Anyway, Nikola, I’m glad you liked it. Jewels and I thought it’d be perfect for your big 18th.”

“Thank you,” Nikola says again before he goes back to cutting his meat.

“So,” Dad prompts, causing Nikola to pause again. Eyes slightly widened, Nikola puts his cutlery down and looks to the other end of the table where Dad sat. “Do you have any plans going forward?”

“Surv—”

“Beyond surviving,” Dad fills in quickly, spurring laughter from all around.

I can’t help but join in and when I do, Nikola’s attention immediately shifts to me. He looks at me with his brows drawn together, with a confused frown that was downright adorable. ‘I’ll explain later’ I mouth to him and he relaxes slightly, though his little frown doesn’t fade.

“Short-term plans,” Uncle Apollos suggests at his side. “Perhaps what you might want to do this year?”

“Oh,” Nikola’s grey gaze settles on me again and it suddenly becomes nearly impossible for me to breathe. Thankfully, Nikola looks away in the next second, “I suppose I do not have one beyond improving my magic and its reach.”

“You’re already strong enough,” Pops says with a laugh. “What, you planning world domination or something?”

“That would be too taxing,” Nikola replies, earning laughs from all about. This time, I frown with him because that obviously wasn’t sarcasm.

I didn’t think Nikola had any plans for world domination but if he did, the amount of work that would have to go into it would be the clear deterrent.

“So, you’re going to stay in the pack and get stronger?” Pops asks, “I’ve got no complaints about that, but I guess I assumed you’d be rushing to move out like some pups I know.” At that, Pops flips off all of us except Josey, who he sends an air kiss.

“Nik’s not moving out,” Aunty Kat says with a scoff. “Witches stay together.”

“But werewolves tend to spread,” Dad replies carefully, as if he were handling a bomb.

Maybe he was because at that, Aunty Kat froze with her glass at her lips, a deep frown almost identical to Nik’s taking over her features. She looks at her son and for what might be the first time in my life, I think I spot fear in her eyes.

“Who cares?!” Taylor shouts suddenly, drawing all eyes to her. “This food is so good! Don’t waste it!”

“Taylor!” Will groans, but his daughter ignores his warning.

“What? It does, and you said we must always say thank you when food is good since Dad’s cooking is a hit or miss!”

“I never said that!” Will hisses, now physically trying to cover her mouth while Damon watches them through narrowed eyes.

“My food is a what?” he challenges.

“Hit or miss!” Pops articulates loudly through his cackling. “And it’s the truth. Remember when you tried to make me a birthday cake.”

“Do not bring up the bi—”

“Three nights in the healing centre, Damon,” Pops cuts him off. “Three nights!”

Focus shifted, everyone joins in on the new conversation of whether or not Damon could cook, allowing Nikola his freedom. Watching him, I see the way he lets out a small breath before his lips tug up and he picks up his cutlery again. Nikola always left me feeling out of control, but like this, happy to be left alone so he could cut his food up, he was softer and… cute.

… I have it so God-damn bad.

The rest of the night moves swiftly as we all dart around from one conversation to the next, the table full of laughter and teasing that makes my chest warm. It was nice enough having my family all together, but having the Amorenias as well made it even better– so much so that I almost didn’t want it to end. Almost.

Truth is, when there was no food left and sleepiness was starting to weigh almost everyone down, I was practically ecstatic when Uncle Apollos announced that they’d be taking their leave.

“I’ll walk you guys out,” I volunteer, probably a bit too excited because snickers fill the room way too quickly.

“You do that, Hagen,” Pops sneers, swaying from one foot to the next. “You do that.”

“Remember to use the front door this time,” Dad adds like a sniper attempting to maim me.

I flip them all off behind my back as I fall into step with Nikola behind his parents, my eyes pointedly on the ground as we head for the front door.

“We’ll give you two a minute,” Uncle Apollos says with a wink, like a normal fucking dad, before he heads out the door with his grinning mate.

In the entryway, Nikola looks down at me with humour shining in his grey eyes.

“What?” I ask. “You should be running for the hills, not smiling.”

“It was entertaining,” he replies and I scoff, not believing him for a second. “Loud and at times, unruly, but entertaining nevertheless.”

“Clearly we have very different tastes in what entertains us.”

“Well, you know how I feel about cartoons—”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” I say with a raised hand. “Stop talking right now.”

Stepping away from the entryway, Nikola laughs in that amused chuckle he shared just with me– the heavy one that always made my insides turn like a damn tumble dryer. I shift in front of him while my hands rub at my sleeves, but try as I do, I can’t really find my words.

“I will go home with my parents, and give you enough time with yours,” Nikola says, his voice a low whisper now. “When you are alone, I want you to call me.” I swallow, my body vibrating as Nik’s gaze stays locked on mine. “When you are ready, call me, and I’ll come.”

Instead of flowing north, my blood rushes south as an undeniable wave of arousal overwhelms me. It builds quickly as Nikola’s steely gaze traces over my lips, hunger flashing within them.

“Okay,” I manage while my fingers dig into my sleeves so deep, it hurts.

Nikola’s lips quirk up for one of his secret smiles before he takes a step back, “I’ll see you soon, Hagen.”

Walking down the driveway to where his parents had been stumbling down arm in arm, Nikola joins them, and they all disappear a second later. I let the air caged in my lungs escape like a tidal wave.

Earlier, I’d been contemplating the possibility of Nikola and I sharing a kiss later; now it felt like a sure thing. From the way he spoke to how he looked at me, Nikola wasn’t hiding his desire at all, and I could feel mine pumping in my blood.

We were inching closer and closer towards euphoria, and tonight, we just might find it.

Closing the door behind me, I work myself through several deep breaths as I make my way back to the dining room. They would dig into me regardless, but I didn’t need to be red in the face when they did.

Surprisingly, when I enter the room, there was not a soul in sight. Where bodies had filled this place just a few minutes ago, seats now lay empty, albeit the stacked dishes gathered on one end.

I listen closely as I move further inwards, preparing for a sneak attack, but all I find are soft footfalls heading my way before Peter comes in from the second entryway. He startles a little at the sight of me, a hand flying to his chest.

“Hagen,” he breathes, blue eyes wide. “I-I didn’t hear y-you co-come back in.”

“Sorry,” I apologise as I head closer. “I didn’t mean to go ninja on you.”

Peter smiles and shakes his head, “I-It’s fine.”

“Where is everyone?” I ask, still not one hundred per cent sure this wasn’t an attack with Peter as the bait. I knew what my brothers were capable of.

“K-Knocked o-out,” Peter answers with a giggle as he gathers a set of plates in his hands. “W-We moved back t-to the living room for-for-for games a-a-and then they all kn-knocked out.”

I snort, “That’s precisely why you don’t consume anything that Aunty Kat calls ‘good’.” Peter giggles and nods his agreement. “So, you decided to start the cleanup?”

“L-Less work t-tomorrow,” he replies and I nod, but my mind was already distracted by what this meant.

I’d expected to have to wait a few hours at least until I was sure everyone was asleep or distracted before I could possibly sneak out to meet Nikola, but they were already dead asleep. Which meant… I could call him right now.

Zyair wriggles excitedly at the prospect and I’m right there with him, until I look back at Peter who was gathering up a few more plates.

Could I leave my brother here all alone to handle everything? It didn’t feel right, even though Peter did enjoy cleaning somewhat. He was too kind for his own good and would probably end up cleaning everything before he went to bed.

So I stifle my own needs, putting them away for a little while longer as I move forward and pick up the stack of baking trays he’d gathered.

Peter’s eyes grow wide as he watches me, “Oh, Hagen. Y-You don’t have t-to.”

“I know,” I reply, already heading for the kitchen. “I want to.”

The grin that Peter sends to me, all wide and full of sunshine, makes it worth it.

Between the two of us, it doesn’t take long to get the remainder of the dishes transported to the kitchen, and soon enough, we get to washing. We start with the dishwasher, but that fills up soon enough, leaving Peter to scrub and me to rinse, just like we used to, except this time, neither of us needed stools.

“So,” I start, giving him a little nudge in the side. “You’ve said work is great and you’re enjoying it, but why do I feel like you’re hiding something?”

Peter blinks up at me, his mouth ajar, “I-I’m n-not.”

“No?” I question, raising a brow. “No secrets you’re hiding?”

Peter shakes his head adamantly, his blonde hair going flying and swiping at my mouth. I spit it out and surrender, laughing instead as he apologises through his giggles.

“Alright, I give up… for now,” I warn as I dip into the steaming water for another tray. “I’m just glad you’re happy.”

Peter smiles wistfully, his hands slowing as he replies, “I-I am.”

A slight pressure eases from my chest at that affirmation. It’d been so hard at the beginning for Peter, oncehe turned 18 and watched year after year pass with no sight of his mate. We’d all tried in our own ways to help, but there was no way to ease the pain when all he wanted was someone he couldn’t find.

For a while, it seemed like our usually-happy Peter would forever be the sad thing he’d become, but then he’d gotten himself up one day and started on the type of expeditions he used to run from. Peter started getting out there, and every time we saw him, he was a little bit more like our Peter, and now he was happy.

I knew he still wanted a mate, but I was glad he’d learned how to be happy on his own.

“W-What about you?” Peter asks, blue eyes sparkling with interest and mischief. “Y-You’re h-happy now t-too, aren’t you?”

Gaze fixed on the sink, I nod my head and try not to turn into a tomato again. I fail.

“Yeah, I guess I am,” I reply with a shrug.

Peter nudges me, his grin massive, “Y-You and N-Nikola are doing b-better?” I nod and his grin turns radiant. “T-That makes m-me so h-happy.”

“Thanks, Peter,” I reply, unable to help my own smile.

Usually, I’d leave it there, but Peter had always been Josey and I’s shield through it all, and I knew I could trust him with anything. I take a breath.

“I um… I think I’m starting to really like him, Peter.”

Peter squeals like a fucking siren as he dances from foot to foot, becoming the human embodiment of the butterflies I felt inside of me. It somehow was easier to admit it to Peter than it was to say it in my own head. With Peter, I knew it’d stay with just him forever, and I knew he’d be infinitely happy for me, as he was now.

“Hagennn!!” Peter manages when he finds his voice again. Forgetting the dishes, he dives straight over to give me a soapy hug. I hug him back, my muscles easing at having Peter’s approval and his joy.

When he pulls back, his big blue eyes are teeming with joy, “Y-You do? You r-really like him?”

“Y-Yeah,” I confirm, hugging him back. “I mean, it’s better now. So much better. Nik knows what he did, he said sorry, and he tries so hard with me.” I smile as I feel my neck and ears heating again. “I know that he cares about me and just wants to make me happy, and I don’t know, I want the same for him.”

“Hagennnn!!!” Peter screams again, swooping in for another hug that makes me laugh as I struggle to keep us upright. Peter wiggles in my arms as if he were celebrating his own mating bond, his joy so pure and vibrant, it was unmistakable through our family bond.

“Okay, wait,” I laugh. “You’ll wake up everyone else.”

Stilling, Peter sets himself down and takes a moment to compose himself, but I can tell it’s a challenge.

When he gets himself back under control, he whispers, “I-I can’t believe it!”

“Neither can I,” I reply with a sigh. “I was dreading his birthday for months, fearing the worst, but it’s been… amazing.”

Peter’s fist finds his mouth and he digs in, making me laugh louder than any sound he would’ve made just then. Goddess, I’d really missed him.

“I’m so s-so happy t-to hear that, Hagen,” Peter says earnestly, his eyes shining with emotion. “I-I was worried at first,” he confesses as he looks at me. “I-I knew how y-you felt about everything a-and when Dad told me about t-the Mate Awareness, I-I thought it might be-be too much. B-But you wo-worked through it, a-and I’m s-so happy f-for you.”

Not noticing the way I’d gone ramrod stiff, Peter takes my hands in his and squeezes, but the feeling is numb. Confusion muddled it along with all the joy I’d felt up until a moment ago, a moment before he’d said words that didn’t make sense.

“Mate Awareness,” I echo, trying to blink past the confusion as my eyebrows pull together. “Peter, what are you talking about?”

Peter goes still, his joy evaporating just as quickly as mine as his eyes flicker across my face. He must’ve registered the confusion and the fact that something was wrong, because a second later, his hands cup around his mouth, his blue eyes wide with regret coursing through them.

“Peter,” I repeat, eyes narrowing. “What did Dad tell you?”

“I-I-I—” Peter tries desperately and I wait. I would never rush him, especially not when he was stressed, but I needed to hear it from his mouth.

I needed to hear him tell me exactly what he was talking about, otherwise my mind would run on its own and make assumptions. Assumptions that for some reason, Peter thought that Nikola and I’s bond was affected by Mate Awareness. Which wouldn’t make sense since I would’ve felt it. It would’ve been impossible for me not to feel it unless something was blocking the channel, and that couldn’t be the case.

It couldn’t be.

It couldn’t be because that would mean that for a month now, Nikola had been hiding it from me.

Every time we met, every time we spoke, he would’ve been dealing with that attachment on his own, without telling me a thing, and that wasn’t possible.

No, it wasn’t. Not when I told him so many times how much I wished I could do more, not when he knew how bad I felt for him having to work against the bond and the link.

It would mean that all this time, while I thought he was struggling with the horrible effects of him being a hybrid, he was dealing with something else. Something not meant for one, but two. Something we could’ve worked through together.

We agreed to work on this— on us, together, so he would’ve told me.

Nikola would have told me because that was who he was now– he didn’t hide things or try to micromanage me or our bond. Not anymore.

Nikola wouldn’t have hidden this from me for an entire month. No, he wouldn’t.

Not when we’d spent that entire month trying to build trust.

So no, it couldn’t be the case because then… that would change everything.

—————–

I mean… I’ma just be quiet actually

Thoughts????

Thoughts on the opening scene? Dinner??? Peter breaking the truth??

Yes, this is a change from the ‘Hagen goes on a date’ extra where we knew that months in the future, Hagen still didn’t know about the mate awareness but I decided to make that change cause a) I wanted to and b) I wrote that chapter yearsssss ago, so I can.

How are we feeling going into the next chapter? And more importantly, how do we feel about Hagen’s reaction????

I personally, can understand his anger/confusion. Like Nikola, why the fuck would you lie about a matter that involves the both of us when you know I hated you taking control of situations when we were younger. But hey, that’s just me.

Voting is now open for November’s extras, so make sure to vote before Friday if you are a Patreon user.

No idea, when the next update is.

Until next time,
Byeeeeeeeeee Humansssssssssss